Touch of Innocence Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 My cousin told me about this site and I decided to see if I could get some advice and/or opinions with my problem. Sometimes it's easier for someone else to see what your mistakes are or what you can do differently rather than yourself. My sister and I have been having a lot of heated arguments lately. She even moved out of the condo we shared. I know that all siblings have arguments and we certainly have, but they have always been over the dumbest things, like wearing the other's clothes when the other one wanted to wear it or doing the other's chores(when we were small). Now it has gotten to the point where we are in each other's face and I'm scared that it will get worse. You see we are twins (not identical), which makes us have a stronger bond than normal, and all of this is really breaking my heart. This all started when she began "dating" (if you can call it that) a married man. I was really worried for her and I threaten to tell his wife (we know him since we were like 12). She went ballistic and said that if I loved her I would not jeopardize her relationship with him because he makes her happy. Since then she says real hurtful things, for example last week, I went to vist my dad and she was there, she made a statement that really hurt my feelings. She told my dad in Spanish "I have to go I can't stand breathing the same air as this woman". Words like those leave scars and I'm not sure if things will ever go back to how they use to be. She was my bestfriend, my diary, my rock........ Do you think I did wrong by threatening to tell the wife of the man she is seeing? Or is she wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Wow, that must be hard. Have you tried talking to her without fighting? Tell her before-hand that you don't want to argue that you want to make things better. I have not talked with my sister for about 8 months and I don't think we will any time soon. I hope you fix things with your sister. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touch of Innocence Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 I have tried talking to her many, many times, but she just gets defensive. I do not if I did something wrong or if she's wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Yes, threatening to tell his wife was wrong-what you need to do is keep your nose out of it, and SUPPORT her even if you think she's wrong. Because that is what family is all about-loyalty. I'm not talking about allowing her to do things like walk in front of a bus-but in matters of the heart you shut up, hug her when she's crying and wipe away her tears when she realizes what it's really all about. How would YOU feel if the person who was supposed to be closest to you was emotionally blackmailing you? Regardless of the fact she's in a relationship with a married man. Eventually, she is going to find out the hard way that most of these relationships don't turn out, and instead of saying I told you so, be HER rock. Grow up, and be a friend as well as a sister. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I agree that's your sister... She most probably felt that you were choosing the wife over her if you know what I mean. She was probably really hurt. And I know you didnt mean it like that but thats probably what she got out of it. People have to learn from their own mistakes and she will eventually learn whatever it is she needs to learn by being with this MM and you can't really do anything about it. I know your just looking out for her but right now she's happy. As a sister what you need to do is just give her advice and if or when he does hurt her YOU have to be there for her and listen to her and hug her and make her feel like everything is going to be ok. Untill then don't get in it. I think you should write her a letter telling her your sorry (if you are) or how you feel and mail it to her. Tell her how it left a scar in your heart when she said que no pudo respirar el mismo aire de esta mujer. You need to tell her those things and that shes your sister and you love her. It may seem like a little fight but if you don't fix it, it can go on forever and you could be missing out on great times. In the end your sister is the only thing you got and who won't do you wrong so no matter whos fault it is I think you should keep trying to talk to her and fix things. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touch of Innocence Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 Thanks for the advice. I will try writing her a letter, maybe she will listen to me then. If I did threaten to tell that man's wife it was only because she deserves better. That is not healthy for her. She deserves a man she can call her own not someone else's! We have always held that type of relationship. What hurts one hurts the other. I did not do it with the intention of backstabbing her rather less blackmailing her. I will try to talk to her once again because she is very important to me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touch of Innocence Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 Eternally Confused, I forgot to say, "COOL YOU KNOW SPANISH!!!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 LOL of course I know spanish. I'm a full latin woman. I hope you and your sis make up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touch of Innocence Posted August 6, 2004 Author Share Posted August 6, 2004 Well I do hope so because I love my sister a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Hi Sweets, I read your post yesterday that I was over Lulu's house and I felt like this would be a nice way to fix everything. I am not mad at you. I just have a lot of problems going on right now, maybe I'm taking it out on you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings with the comment I made to papi, it was real childish and I accept it. It did upset me that you told me you were going to tell HIS wife, but that's something I will rather talk to you in private. In case you have not notice who this is yet ........................ IT"S ME YOUR SIS Call me. Love you lots Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Awe that is soooo cute. I hope you guys make up! Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Hi. I'm new here and this is the first topic I picked. Since I have two sisters, it caught my eye. I was going to post about telling your sister (or writing a letter, as another member mentioned), but I see that you two seem to be on speaking terms again. I hope things mend well for both of you. Like I've told my two kids, "You two are siblings, when Dad and I are gone, you will only have each other to count on." Boyfriends come and go, but you two will be sisters for the rest of your lives. It's nice to read a happy ending for my "virgin thread" at this site. LOL lil Honey Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touch of Innocence Posted August 8, 2004 Author Share Posted August 8, 2004 Well I just finished reading this, but you can bet I'm going to call my sis RIGHT NOW Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 You know what they say about blood being thicker than water? Well, it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 I too read this because I have a sister whom I'm very close to (she's older) but when we argue no matter what it's over, it tears my heart to pieces! I was going to comment that you should just sit her down and talk to her, I could see how she would have felt that you were "siding" with the MM's wife. I can see it from both POV's you're worried about the choices she's making and she wants you to be there to support her no matter what and accept whatever choices she makes. Anyway I'm so glad to hear that you two are talking again and I wish both of you the best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Midnight Magic Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Life is too short to be mad at your sister over. Especially since you are twins, the bond is even stronger. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with each other. Sisters are forever. You are truly blessed to have a sister, and so am I. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts