LostOne1 Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I know i was trying to do too much i guess. Why is it that i cant let go? Its been 3 months? Shouldnt i feel hate towards her or anything? I love her and it sucks. 2 years together and now its gone. 3 yrs for me.. but I wouldn't say I love her or hate her. I miss her at the most, such as spending my weekends with her. I now try to go out with my friends every weekend to feel that I am still getting out of the house. Staying at home kills it unless you watch movies or something. I know how you feel I look at my 3 yrs and she left me the WEEK of our 3rd anniversary. I think 3 yrs all gone all that investment in each other, the trips, the good moments, meeting her family etc.. It was all special, but I tell myself SHE took it away. She had a chance to not BU or sit down and talk this out. She never did and when she felt like she wanted to, she flaked out and changed her mind. The mind games is what totally pushed me to not beg anymore. I realized she doesn't even know what she wants anymore. Part of her probably wants to go back, because I know she still loves me. But something is pulling her away... either she can;t let go of the past and the pain she feels. Or she is with someone else.. but at the end of the day. As dumpees we are humans and people too and we have to move on. We shouldn't be lead on and you need to move on too and realize that part. Live your own life now and if she is meant to be in your life.. some how you will end up together. If not.. then you'll eventually find someone better, who makes you as happy as you were with your ex or more happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 I do live my life. I just miss her so much. I truely loved her. I dont even know if i can take her back after shes been with someone else that isnt fair for me and i dont feel like i should wait for anythin to happen. I just want to forget it all, forget everything and anything to do with her because i loved her and i still do. She obs has different feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I do live my life. I just miss her so much. I truely loved her. I dont even know if i can take her back after shes been with someone else that isnt fair for me and i dont feel like i should wait for anythin to happen. I just want to forget it all, forget everything and anything to do with her because i loved her and i still do. She obs has different feelings. at least you know that at one point in time she DID love you too. But things changed and that's how it is.. I know my ex at some point really did love me too. I have no doubt about that, but at the end of the day. Things change and sometimes for the worse. But there isn't much we can do, we aren't god and can't control what goes on. We have limited control over things, and sometimes things don't go the way we want for us... I'm like you part of me still loves my ex even after it all. But that's because I look at the good moments we shared. Sadly she doesn't see those good moments anymore almost like they don't exist for her or never did. But hey I can be happy knowing she did love me and I can say I had someone that loved me for a bit. But now I gotta love myself to appreciate who I am and the way I am. And maybe one day we both will fall in love again with someone else. And it will feel as good as we do now loving our ex's. The future holds many new things always, we just aren't patient people these days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 Even a week before we broke up. We were at the fair and she said she loved me... Wth... Thing is when she said it was hard or her to leave me, i believed her. I can read this girl like a book inside out. I know her too well. Even till this day i belive, yes its just hope that she still loves me but wants to give another guy a shot. Who knows what the future holds but if i could right now id take her back. She was my everything... What more can i do than go NC? I guess i will have to forget about us. She even told me she was being selfish keeping me in the loop. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Even a week before we broke up. We were at the fair and she said she loved me... Wth... Thing is when she said it was hard or her to leave me, i believed her. I can read this girl like a book inside out. I know her too well. Even till this day i belive, yes its just hope that she still loves me but wants to give another guy a shot. Who knows what the future holds but if i could right now id take her back. She was my everything... What more can i do than go NC? I guess i will have to forget about us. She even told me she was being selfish keeping me in the loop. not much you can do.. 2 things.. either she sees this new guy spends time and realizes you are the one she wants and comes back to you... then it's a question of how you feel at that time and if you want to talk to her. This could happen 3-6 months down the road. or you move on completely, because chasing her and all won't do you any good. At this point NC is here for you to heal.. nothing you can do will win her back. I was in the same spot and nothing helped. I mean tlaking to her helped a bit, but nothing really brought her back to me. Telling her I was gonna toss the stuff she gave me maybe guilted her to want to talk more and all. I guess some things she gave me were like a bond between me and her. But honestly.. nothing got me to get her to sit and talk with me. She was confuses as hell either about choosing me vs this new guy or going back to me vs fighting the pain she was going through.. But at the end NOTHING helped me and I feel maybe NC would have. She did tell me if we had not fought when she got back, that she would have come back to me. It could be true.. or it could be here lying to make herself sound good. But either way NC for me would have been the best. Then instead of HER blocking me on FB, it would have been ME blocking her. Instead of me begging it would have been her, she would have realized what she threw away at some point. But that's how it is.. MY BU in the past have been easier. Girl disappears and moves to new city and I never hear from her again. But this is the 1st time the girl lives less than 5 mins away from me, went to the same school as me for 5+ years, met her family etc.. So it's harder to get over, but I tell myself when the TIME came to talk it out. She didn't want any of it, which shows me she doesn't want this.. so why should I fight for her and us? SO I gave up now. Yeah it hurts, but all I can say is I was fighting a battle I'd never win. And it's the same for you... you cant fight a battle you will never win. So take my friends advice, which I WISH I had taken.... let it be.... just let it be.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 Thanks man. Im just going to go NC. Whats done has been done. Theres nothing i can change anymore. I need to get her out of my head. Would you classify this as GIGS? Both 24.. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Thanks man. Im just going to go NC. Whats done has been done. Theres nothing i can change anymore. I need to get her out of my head. Would you classify this as GIGS? Both 24.. Good for you! As for GIGS... I don't know.. maybe. For me and my ex we are both 25 turning 26. But we were serious, because honestly we felt old. We both wanted to be done school bye 27-28. Have a steady job by 30 and then kids a year or two after. We didn't want to be old parents having kids super late. She was always obsessed with her becoming to old and not being able to have kids. So for me and my ex it was serious. I just think a few things happened, which made her feel distant. Really what happened was we LOST communication while she was away on her trip. That kinda killed it for her and I guess things changed for her. Someone else was there for her on this trip away and maybe she liked it? Either way 24 and GIGS I guess is common still. But it depends on the plans you and your ex had. Me and my ex were in school fulltime pushing to get good careers so we could live a good life and support ourselves and our future family. Was it GIGS for my ex? Maybe.. it's possible she gave up on me and wanted to give another guy a chance. Or it's possible she was just so upset and since I didn't go NC and kept bugging her which lead to a HUGE fight. That it was all emotional for her and there was no guy. Either way... it's time to move on for you and for me. We both are still young and finding someone at our age is pretty easy. But for me personally, I don't feel like dating much right now. I kinda wanna build my own self up now. Work out to be bigger, finish school ASAP and get a job. I think then I'll look at a relationship once again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 Hmm well she would jokingly i think say maybe ill marry you etc. i would marry her in a heartbeat. Thing is you really dont know what you have/love u til its too late or gone. I miss her like crazy once she left. I guess now theres no turning back. Only time will tell Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Hmm well she would jokingly i think say maybe ill marry you etc. i would marry her in a heartbeat. Thing is you really dont know what you have/love u til its too late or gone. I miss her like crazy once she left. I guess now theres no turning back. Only time will tell A saying I seen after my BU was "It's not that you didn't know what you had, it's that you never though you'd lose it". Which is soooo true. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 And ya NC is best. It's tough but it's what you gotta do. When I found out my ex isn't actually seeing anyone, I wanted to reach out again sooo bad but it's just a stupid thing to do. I'm still happy to know she hasn't been with anyone else since me, but it still doesn't really change anything. I guess I can look at the brightside, I went most of the day today without thinking about my ex, best i've ever done actually. I just wish it was me getting back to normal, not the fact that it's because other problems are stressing me out and controlling my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 That's true i never thought she would leave. I thought we would b together forever. I love her still do. I always will. One day, one day... Till we meet again Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Hmm well she would jokingly i think say maybe ill marry you etc. i would marry her in a heartbeat. Thing is you really dont know what you have/love u til its too late or gone. I miss her like crazy once she left. I guess now theres no turning back. Only time will tell I think anyone who has had an ex on this site has a similar story to this one. Hell, my last relationship that prompted me finding this site was only a couple of months and my ex said this to me. Which freaked me out, not because she said it, because for the first time I could actually see it even though the relationship was young. But whatever, what doesn't kill us will make us stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 True. I don't think it's easy for the dumper either although they do get a head start .. N I believe females get over a relationship much faster which sucks Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 True. I don't think it's easy for the dumper either although they do get a head start .. N I believe females get over a relationship much faster which sucks I don't agree females move on quicker, I think it's usually the opposite. The only thing is that it's usually easier for them to find someone new to help get them through it if they want. But I do think almost all the time the dumper has a huge advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Thats also a concern is my ex going with this new guy to try and get over us? How am i supposed to know? How do i know if its GIGS? Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Thats also a concern is my ex going with this new guy to try and get over us? How am i supposed to know? How do i know if its GIGS? you need to stop fixating on GIGS. she's allowed to do whatever she wants, and is choosing not to be with you. her choice is now to be with this other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Conscience Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I'd say if there is another man and you feel like you are on the back burner then you have to keep some dignity and move on Its hard but what else are you supose to do! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 I know, i know. NC is already in place. During the first month ofthe breakup, i was doin well but as time went by i knew she was the one and i missed er like crazy still do. And she would tell me she still likes me etc. i love her fml. I am trying to move on. Tbh i didnt think i would need to use a site like this but i guess this is my softside Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I know, i know. NC is already in place. During the first month ofthe breakup, i was doin well but as time went by i knew she was the one and i missed er like crazy still do. And she would tell me she still likes me etc. i love her fml. I am trying to move on. Tbh i didnt think i would need to use a site like this but i guess this is my softside thats because we all don't want to admit we need help or support even through hard times.. but the truth is we all DO need support, and that's why we are all here. Just keep NC and slowly it will help. I know how you feel shes the one, I had so many odd signs in my 3yr relationship, that it made me and my ex believe we were gonna be together forever. Well maybe not so now unless something happens in the future to bring us together. But I wouldn't count on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Its just that the stuff she said about us. Made it seem so real and even after the breakup she said its done for good yet a month later she gives mix signals.. And i knew she would cuz i know her too well. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Its just that the stuff she said about us. Made it seem so real and even after the breakup she said its done for good yet a month later she gives mix signals.. And i knew she would cuz i know her too well. Nothing she said before the breakup matters. It became null and void the second she broke up with you. And as far as the mixed signals, if she wanted you back they wouldn't be mixed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurts88 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 Thats true, and we have spoke for about a week now. She is probably doing well and happy so i got to do the same and move on... She was the first thing i saw last thing i thought about everyday, now its first thing i think about, last thing i think about Link to post Share on other sites
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