isthather Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I've been dating this guy for 4 months now. He spends a lot of time in my town for work so I hadnt ever been to his home. He's been acting very shady lately about his plans for the holidays so I did some digging and found out he's married. I have no intentions of being TOW. Do I simply move on or move on and contact his wife? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I'd tell him, "don't you ever fricken contact me again, don't look at me, don't think about me, don't breathe my same air.. If you dare have the balls to call,text,email me or show up to try to speak to me, I WILL call your wife and tell her the truth. F_OFF and get out of my life. Your choice douchebag!" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 :D:D:bunny::bunny::lmao: I like WWI swearing. I'd tell him, "don't you ever fricken contact me again, don't look at me, don't think about me, don't breathe my same air.. If you dare have the balls to call,text,email me or show up to try to speak to me, I WILL call your wife and tell her the truth. F_OFF and get out of my life. Your choice douchebag!"[/QUOTE] Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I so love Lady Grey, but think I'd do things differently. I mean, what do you want? Do you want revenge, or to just move the F on? Do you want to blow his world up? And. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. Me? I'd walk away, f this man, take my life back. I wouldn't spend one day agonizing, thinking about him. I'd just walk. Of course, this is me. You have to do what fits your personality. What do you want to do? Why do you assume that she must be vindictive or vengeful in wanting to tell the wife? Maybe she just thinks the wife deserves to know the truth about who she is married to. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MrVegas Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I would say to spill the beans, not out of spite or revenge, but simply to protect this woman from the what her husband is doing. It is not your responsibility to tell her, but I would imagine you would want to find out if you were in her shoes. Like a previos reply said, make it clear you never knew, accept that she will be PISSED, and will likely direct some at you, and then move along. You are making the right choice, and it isn't wrong of you not to tell her, so whatever you choose, hold your ehad high because you weren't going to let him bring you to his level 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 IMO, having walked the path, I'd move on. If you do decide to 'contact the wife', merely provide quantifiable evidence of his actions, not unsubstantiated opinion and testimony. You're a stranger to her; someone ostensibly meddling in her marriage. TBH, you likely have no idea what goes on behind their closed doors. Let the evidence speak for itself. Move on. Great life lesson. Good on you for catching the signs. The holidays are wonderful 'proof' of sincerity and transparency. Love the holidays. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 It does NOT matter the "reason" for telling his Wife!!! In your particular case, I believe you are just as innocent as his Wife and I feel badly for both of you! Not that it is easy but at least You can walk away w/No ugly Divorce or marriage counseling or impact/involvement of family. His wife is going to suffer his consequenses regardless of outcome for a looong time. If you decide to tell her that is.. I am SO sad you were treated this way! Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I've been dating this guy for 4 months now. He spends a lot of time in my town for work so I hadnt ever been to his home. He's been acting very shady lately about his plans for the holidays so I did some digging and found out he's married. I have no intentions of being TOW. Do I simply move on or move on and contact his wife? It's up to you. What do you feel most inclined to do? Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I think if you want to tell the wife then do it. You did not know he was married and she does not know he is cheating. I would want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Mmm hmmm, and when you do tell her, she runs to him, he throws you under the bus, then they can bond over the "Psycho" that is trying to ruin his marriage with her lies.... You don't even want the drama. Tell that bastard to kick rocks. Link to post Share on other sites
ilovedhim Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Sorry this happened to you. The same thing happened to me and I never looked back. His GF contacted me a few times and I only reposnded to her the first time stating my case. All other messages from both of them were ignored. Out him, the motive doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Stephanie Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Thread starter, if you wish further input, alert on this post and request moderation to reopen the thread for discussion. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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