update on the whole situation

[Joey]

Hey everyone,

 

Thanks for the advice earlier. Things have changed a lot.

 

That day I found out (on Halloween) I had to dj at a halloween party at a club, and Chris always goes the clubs with me whenever I'm spinning. So I see him and I was going

 

to take the advice that someone said..about pretending I

 

didn't know. I hadn't heard from Lara either. So we're at the club, and then Lara (who was out of town) calls my cell like 10 times in a row; I didn't answer, but she never does that, so I had a strong feeling she had read the posts.

 

I had tried to push it out of my mind and concentrate on

 

the party. But then I couldn't get it out of my head,

 

right then Chris comes up to me too and asks me when Lara's

 

getting back from her trip.

 

I did a stupid thing and sort of lost it. I turned around and just POW punched him in his face. I took him off guard and then I just went crazy and started tackling him. I heard him say something like "lara told you didn't she" but all I was thinking about was just beating the crap out of him. He didn't try to hit back, he was just trying to grab me and calm me down. Well the bouncers came and took me in the back room.

 

Luckily, since I was spinning at the club and the bouncers knew me, they just told me to calm down and gave me a drink.

 

Chris comes in and sits down on the couch next to me.

 

I felt a lot better, kicking the crap out of him around 1000 people.

 

Yeah..I know, this wasn't the best way to control my anger.

 

Well Chris starts apologizing and saying how it was his fault and his fault only, and that he's to blame. He told me he had pressured Lara into it, at the heat of the moment.

 

Well I was cussing at him..but I calmed down, asked him how he'd feel if I got his girl to go down on me.

 

He told me he'd understand if I didn't want anything to do with him ever again.

 

I told him that things were pretty f'd up between us now, but that we've been best friends for years and hanging out

 

for years. He was the one that knew Lara before me, and he was the one that introduced me to her. I was dumb for not realizing that they might've been involved earlier.

 

Well Lara kept calling, I didn't want to talk to her cause if I did, I'd probably go off on her. So she comes back 2 days later from her trip and comes over and starts crying

 

and saying she's sorry. But she starts telling me that she wants to be with me. She's asking me to forgive her and she starts saying it wasn't her fault, it was an accident. But that Chris was the one that was hitting on her, and that Chris wasn't a good friend cause he was the one asking for it.

 

Well Chris is apologizing for himself, Lara is sitting there taking the blame off her and blaming Chris instead. That's a pretty immature thing to do. I know it takes TWO to tango; at least Chris admitted he was wrong, that it was his fault, while Lara just pulled her whole "oh innocent me crybaby" routine.

 

Also her little post on here "oooops where'd that bj come from?" seems like she got a kick out of the whole situation, which was another strike against her.

 

So she was at my apartment carrying on..I didn't say

 

a word to her; I went in my bedroom, starting picking up all her crap laying around, took her stuff out of the bathroom too, took it all and piled it up by the door and told her

 

that I was going to take a nap, and when she finished crying, she could get herself and her crap out of my house for good.

 

Maybe we'll end up talking later on, but I doubt it. As for me and Chris, maybe I'm making a mistake but I'm still talking to him. Me and him have been through a lot, had some crazy times. This one time I'm going to forgive him and hope he doesn't let me down again.

 

Lara, I know you're reading this. I cared for you a lot, I tried to make this relationship work out, but it's definitely not worth it now. I can do better; you deserve someone at your own level..who takes oral sex very lightheartedly.

 

I'm getting tired of having your friends ask me what happened..why they don't see you hanging out with me at the clubs anymore.

 

So to save me the trouble of explaining to your friends, and before your "ooops" post disappears off this list, I decided that it'd be sad if it just disappeared. Why not email it to them?

 

Don't worry, I'm CC:ing you a copy.

 

Check your email.

 

Bye

[Joey]

what's up guys,

 

Read the post above. I don't know if I did the right thing.

 

It was easy for me to break it off with Lara since I haven't

 

known her long. But me and Chris go way back; I don't know

 

how to handle that situation.

 

Yeah I know it was immature of me/kind of harsh to email her post to her friends. But it makes me feel better.

[Taressa]

Hi Joey,

 

I think you made a pretty good judgement of character... Chris' reaction showed maturity, care, and repentance. Lara's seems to show more a lack of sorrow at getting caught.

 

I'm so sorry for you to be hurt this way.

 

Please gather your friends around you. Their honesty, strength, and company will help you stay strong on the nights you'll be missing Lara.

 

Please, no more revenge seeking on Lara... stand straight and show the world the character, kindness, and strength which are yours.

 

You'll hurt awhile Joey, and it may be hard for you to trust again. But you are going to be okay.

 

Again, I'm sorry for what you've been through.

 

Taressa

Hey everyone, Thanks for the advice earlier. Things have changed a lot. That day I found out (on Halloween) I had to dj at a halloween party at a club, and Chris always goes the clubs with me whenever I'm spinning. So I see him and I was going to take the advice that someone said..about pretending I didn't know. I hadn't heard from Lara either. So we're at the club, and then Lara (who was out of town) calls my cell like 10 times in a row; I didn't answer, but she never does that, so I had a strong feeling she had read the posts. I had tried to push it out of my mind and concentrate on the party. But then I couldn't get it out of my head, right then Chris comes up to me too and asks me when Lara's getting back from her trip. I did a stupid thing and sort of lost it. I turned around and just POW punched him in his face. I took him off guard and then I just went crazy and started tackling him. I heard him say something like "lara told you didn't she" but all I was thinking about was just beating the crap out of him. He didn't try to hit back, he was just trying to grab me and calm me down. Well the bouncers came and took me in the back room. Luckily, since I was spinning at the club and the bouncers knew me, they just told me to calm down and gave me a drink. Chris comes in and sits down on the couch next to me. I felt a lot better, kicking the crap out of him around 1000 people. Yeah..I know, this wasn't the best way to control my anger. Well Chris starts apologizing and saying how it was his fault and his fault only, and that he's to blame. He told me he had pressured Lara into it, at the heat of the moment. Well I was cussing at him..but I calmed down, asked him how he'd feel if I got his girl to go down on me. He told me he'd understand if I didn't want anything to do with him ever again. I told him that things were pretty f'd up between us now, but that we've been best friends for years and hanging out for years. He was the one that knew Lara before me, and he was the one that introduced me to her. I was dumb for not realizing that they might've been involved earlier. Well Lara kept calling, I didn't want to talk to her cause if I did, I'd probably go off on her. So she comes back 2 days later from her trip and comes over and starts crying and saying she's sorry. But she starts telling me that she wants to be with me. She's asking me to forgive her and she starts saying it wasn't her fault, it was an accident. But that Chris was the one that was hitting on her, and that Chris wasn't a good friend cause he was the one asking for it. Well Chris is apologizing for himself, Lara is sitting there taking the blame off her and blaming Chris instead. That's a pretty immature thing to do. I know it takes TWO to tango; at least Chris admitted he was wrong, that it was his fault, while Lara just pulled her whole "oh innocent me crybaby" routine. Also her little post on here "oooops where'd that bj come from?" seems like she got a kick out of the whole situation, which was another strike against her. So she was at my apartment carrying on..I didn't say a word to her; I went in my bedroom, starting picking up all her crap laying around, took her stuff out of the bathroom too, took it all and piled it up by the door and told her that I was going to take a nap, and when she finished crying, she could get herself and her crap out of my house for good. Maybe we'll end up talking later on, but I doubt it. As for me and Chris, maybe I'm making a mistake but I'm still talking to him. Me and him have been through a lot, had some crazy times. This one time I'm going to forgive him and hope he doesn't let me down again. Lara, I know you're reading this. I cared for you a lot, I tried to make this relationship work out, but it's definitely not worth it now. I can do better; you deserve someone at your own level..who takes oral sex very lightheartedly.

 

I'm getting tired of having your friends ask me what happened..why they don't see you hanging out with me at the clubs anymore. So to save me the trouble of explaining to your friends, and before your "ooops" post disappears off this list, I decided that it'd be sad if it just disappeared. Why not email it to them? Don't worry, I'm CC:ing you a copy. Check your email. Bye

[Paulie]

Dude...you're handling this JUST PERFECTLY.

 

Way to go!!

 

Ultimately, it's your decision to stay friends with Chris.

 

Nobody here can decide that for you.

[Paulie]

ooooops where'd that bj come from?

 

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Posted by lara on Monday, 23 October 2000, at 11:40 a.m.

 

Last night I was hanging out with my friend and I ended

 

up giving him a blowjob. We're used to hugging and kissing and playfully grabbing each other all the time, but this time was a lot further.

 

The problem is this:

 

My boyfriend is his best friend.

 

His girlfriend is my best friend.

 

haha pathetic huh

 

The thing is..whenever me and my bf hang out with him and his gf, as couples we don't show much PDA but him and I are the ones that are hugging each other etc...in a friendly way. He grabs me in front of his girlfriend, she doesn't mind. and my boyfriend doesn't mind either when I start wrestling around with his best friend.

 

The night before last, before the BJ, my bf and I just had a talk about commitment too...so that should make me feel

 

even more guilty.

 

why don't I feel guilty? especially sine me and my bf just had a talk about being committed to each other the night before? is it cause he would never and i would never cheat on our companions with anyone else, but that it's okay because we're their companions' best friends?

 

Me and my bf haven't had sex; him and his gf haven't had sex either. It's not that we want to hook up with each other; we don't. we just love each other as friends.

 

Would it be a good idea to admit what we did to our bf/gf, or would it be better to never let them know about it? I mean the oral sex was pretty casual..it could probably occur again......

 

Lara

[Tony T]

I think disputes, and especially one this personal, should be settled honorably between the parties involved and not Emailed to an entire circle of people. Others do not have a right to know what happened. All they need to know, if anything, is that the two of you aren't together anymore.

 

No matter how angry I am at somebody, I always take a good amount of responsibility for what happens. In your case, this was a girl you chose to date and it was your risk whether or not she would be faithful or whether or not she would give your good buddy a blow job.

 

Not to be insulting, but this is the stuff of trailer trash. I personally would not want the world to know any of the details. I think everyone gets what's coming to them and she will suffer the consequences of her actions without being the subject of widespread gossip that will surely eminate as your Email is forwarded to recipients around the world.

 

I'm glad Lara is alive, you were kind there. I'm very certain she has learned her lesson. That's what we do while we're on the planet. You have learned as well from this incident.

 

I am sorry you have chosen to Email all the details. This will ultimately backfire on you. Most people don't like to associate too closely with people who reveal intimate details of the transgressions of their lovers or associates. If I was your friend, I would know that if I ever crossed you in any way, I might be the subject of one of your Emails as well. This whole thing, in my opinion, does not make you look great.

 

There are some things that are just personal.

 

I am very glad this is all off your chest. Now, let's see what kind of spin the National Enquirer puts on it.

[Tony T]

Hey, it's kind of hard to blow off a good buddy.

[Joey]

hey wassup,

 

Actually, I sent the email to my outbox but I couldn't bring myself to email it out. I have it in me to write it, but I don't have it in me to email it to people, because exactly like you said, it would just make me look bad.

 

I mainly wrote it to freak Lara out in case she was reading this. Just to scare her a little bit.

 

Lara, don't worry I won't send it out. Not because I don't

 

want to embarrass you or to make you realize that you should be ashamed of what you did, but because I'm not that type of guy.

[Paulie]

Good Man, Joe. Don't lower yourself. I have naked pictures of one of my exes, which I could post on the internet, but what's the point?

 

You can walk away seeing her for the piece of trash that she is, and hold your head high knowing that you acted honorably.

 

Way to go, killer.

 

Later,

 

Paulie

[Tony T]

Joey:

 

You made the right decision. Sorry to be so tough on you...but now I see you are more of a man of class.

 

Paulie:

 

Could you please Email me some of those pictures of your ex? Would love to see them.

 

Tony

[Paulie]

Yeah, Tones, I will...you have my word. I just need some more time to put it all behind me, though.

 

You got my word, though!

 

(I went to scan 'em, and had this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and felt I better hold off for a while.)

 

Hey Joey...got any pics? (J/K)

[Paulie]

Two relevant expressions here:

 

"You can't make a queen out of a wh*re"

 

"You can't polish sh*t"

 

Sometimes the most base of truths are right on target.

[Bobby Dygytul]

No, you got it wrong

 

Its "you can't make a wh*re into a housewife"

 

just like "you can't make a housewife into a wh*re"

 

~Bobby D~

Two relevant expressions here: "You can't make a queen out of a wh*re"

 

"You can't polish sh*t" Sometimes the most base of truths are right on target.