Drseussgrrl Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Hey everyone, Recently I made the decision to deactivate my facebook profile. I just feel as though it had been a huge time waster. I was constantly on it, always worrying if I was funny enough or pretty enough in the pictures I was posting. And for what? So 500 people I barely knew would approve of me and what I was doing? It's only been about 24 hours and I can honestly say I feel kind of conflicted. All of my family is on it, and my best friends. But I can't say that the good made up for the bad. I constantly found myself comparing my life to other people's and feeling boring. So I'd be out doing something fun and immediately felt the need to post about it on FB. Now I just want to live in the moment and not worry about how many "likes" I'll get, if that makes sense. I also didn't want to go through the drama of defriending a bunch of people, so I decided to take myself out of the equation altogether. Honestly, a part of me feels very liberated at this point. Anyone else make the decision to get off Fakebook? 9 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I've thought about it many times due to various issues I've had with people getting offended over every little thing. Now with the new facebook features, I just hide those particular people from seeing my posts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drseussgrrl Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 I realize I was using it more for attention than I was to foster relationships. Now, I don't have to worry about bad pics of me being tagged, being "checked in", who's going to comment on a status, etc. It really is all just a facade and nobody is going to post what's REALLY going on in their lives. It's just all a popularity contest, in my opinion. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I had facebook canceled it Ran into a friend in public that asked me why I reactivated it... same people updating crap About their kids family and drama I only sign in once a week to see family Other then that i could careless Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drseussgrrl Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 FB just launched a "couples' page" feature. I can see the drama unfolding from here. Looks like I got out just in time LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I lament the lack of willpower I have when it comes to giving up facebook. I think facebook, used sparingly, is an amazing creation, but I can't tell you how often I log in just to stare at my own profile, browse through my photos, track through other peoples... For what reason? Boredom? Narcissism? Habit? I don't even know any more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drseussgrrl Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 That's the thing though. Very few people can use it sparingly. That's not the way it was designed. Think about how easy it is to just click through for hours. Who is this cutie who liked her picture? OMG her Halloween costume was so slutty. Oh man that's a witty comment on my status, I better reply with something good... Now she LIKED my witty comment - VALIDATION! Or how about constantly looking for a red number over the globe, and feeling a bit disappointed when it's not there? I mean come on what have we devolved into? It's all just madness that doesn't amount to jack sh*t. FB is even mentioned in many divorce cases nowadays. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 u guys r right, i was thinking of deactivating my account too erliar today. so much time gets wasted looking at others activities plus its all so fake these days. i mean my friends don't just go out to have fun but rather to have some material to post on fb just to look cool and outgoing. its just so much beeter if you concentrate on the actual social life/ lyf is not just fb a:)nyways Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I'm one of those few freaks of nature that never had a FB. I don't judge people one way or another who use/don't use FB. Personally, I don't see the appeal; I'd rather be out living my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mitzikilgore Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Interesting question - and good for you for making a decision. I have a lot of good, real friends that live overseas, so I use FB to check in on them and see what's new. But it is a time-waster and a big gossip chain other than that, so I only check in every once in a while. I have thought about deactivating my account, except for my friends that are far away. And I try to use it as a motivational tool, like to actually get on the phone and call Hege in Norway when she posts something worth talking about. I never do the status update or really post much of anything. I like this forum better because it is actual discussions, even if no one here is a "friend" but there is more interaction than on FB! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I haven't gone off of it completely, but I use it less often than before. It seems like a place for people to try and gain attention and approval from each other, showing off who has the best life. It's disconcerting to meet someone in person and see how unhappy they are when their FB page tells a completley different story. There are some good things about it though like events planning and private messages. I guess that's all I use it for, though I'm trying to switch over to my phone as the main method of communiation. Shouldn't have to login to that website just to talk to certain people. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Shouldn't have to login to that website just to talk to certain people. That's one of my big peeves about FB---the people who are so immersed in it, that they won't bother with genuine one-on-one communication anymore. I've watched a few friends disappear into that vortex........ I think people can get spread SO thin, trying to keep up with it, that they end up neglecting the true, meaningful friendships in their lives. One of my litmus friends for true friendship is based on who actually shows up when it's time to move......( or at least calls if they can't help) I saw a cartoon of a funeral--only two people were in attendance. The one person said to the other, "I don't understand, he had 2,000 friends on Facebook......" 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Anyone else make the decision to get off Fakebook? I've never used it. I messed with social networking a bit when MySpace first started and found it clunky so used it for storing pictures and doing trip journals mostly and haven't touched it in years, I think before our divorce. Good luck with your FB-free life Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I really like facebook. I have precisely 105 friends on it at the moment, probably never went above 110 and for a very long time it was under 100. I'm 40 years old so I know significantly more people than 100. I've travelled around the world and facebook allows me to keep in touch with people who are in almost opposite time zones from me such as New Zealand. I love watching the story of their lives unfold, how their children get their first bikes, birthday cakes, random updates. I'm not there to witness it in real life so I participate via facebook. I also like getting in touch with old friends with whom I would never have reconnected otherwise. Personally, I tend to post silly meme stuff, ridiculous one-liners and make people laugh. My relationship status is not on it because I don't feel I have to expose every morsel of my life. I don't find defriending 'drama'. No-one has ever got back to me for defriending them It only happens when we lose touch and disappear from each other's lives, I don't even think they notice it half the time. In short, I use facebook for what it was intended: communicating with my friends. Not for a popularity contest, not to b**ch and moan (have LS for that, right? ) but to talk to those that matter to me. Facebook is great and I love my friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Gosh. I too LOVE facebook. I do understand how a person could get immersed in its potentially negative aspects, but I am actually thankful for it. There are people all over the world who participate in an arcane activity that I love. I so enjoy getting a glimpse into their daily lives. If I visit their countries, I'll go see them, and vice versa. I am "friends" with most of my graduating high school class, plenty of whom I was not really "friends" with in life. It's so cool to see how their lives turned out - look at their families, get a sense of them. Even my real friends and family - we, of course, interact in other ways including in the flesh, but if they go someplace and post their pictures, or find something funny to share, or have a brag about an accomplishment of theirs or someone near and dear - I LOVE to see it. I have made friends IRL with people from fb Scrabble and played at my kitchen table! Maybe it's because I'm so freaking MATURE (old) that I don't care if people "like" what I post or if my pictures are attractive (well - I have asked some folks to remove some unflattering ones; I'm still vain), and my personal issues and any arguments I may have with my husband or daughter are not fodder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I don't understand the whole relationship status craze that people seem to love so much. For instance, how can posting under relationship status "it's complicated" be a good thing. So, now everyone knows your relationship has problems. Some people are finding out, after the rest of the world does, that their partner just dumped them through FB, *SIGH*. I think FB can be great for keeping in touch with friends and family like some others posters have mentioned. However, to broadcast your romantic relationship over the internet, or to post trivial activities of daily living, seems disconnected and petty to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I pick FB friends the same way I pick friends I see everyday: I keep in touch with those where there is mutual affection, interest and respect. Some post about their relationship updates, some don't. I've no idea whether any of their partners found out via FB that they were being broken up with, maybe I would never hear about it or maybe I just don't pick friends like that. I agree with Mme Chaucer, maybe it's a maturity thing. I don't air my dirty laundry there and I find stuff others post entertaining. If some go in a direction I don't enjoy, I remove their updates from my newsfeed and don't see what they post. No biggie. It's a wonderful tool to keep in touch with those you like. I don't debate what's on there, just take the micky out of my friends on their updates until they tell me to get lost It's kinda similar to how I banter with Pyro or Hokie or GT here in the watercooler. Just silly nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I've definitely hidden posts from several people who say things that I don't want to see - political hate rants, racist comments, relationship dirty laundry, etc. I don't even "unfriend" them, though, because that's a drama inducing act in itself. One thing I DISLIKE about facebook, though - the targetted ads on the side. I mean, who wants to get badgered about belly fat or "weird old" wrinkle solutions everyday? I mean, I'm old, I know already! But give me a break! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I don't even "unfriend" them, though, because that's a drama inducing act in itself. Interesting, I never see it that way. I defriend people sometimes but I suppose I expect them to cope with it the same way that people cope with distancing through other means. Goes both ways too of course. 90% of the time it's just not keeping in touch and the friendship not progressing. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Interesting, I never see it that way. I defriend people sometimes but I suppose I expect them to cope with it the same way that people cope with distancing through other means. Goes both ways too of course. 90% of the time it's just not keeping in touch and the friendship not progressing. My purpose for not "unfriending" is that these folks are participating in my hobbies, for the most part. We compete against one another. I will see them from time to time. We don't need "she unfriended me on facebook, that beeyotch" between us. Better to just "turn it off." For me. My daughter had a 5 year long relationship and that young man was very dear to me. In fact, he still is. He moved to another city and posted some pictures of himself with another girl on his page, which started a huge scene and my d & he ended up breaking up. He UNFRIENDED me! It actually hurt my feelings and I still feel the loss of that guy in my life. But it's all for the best … I didn't need to see stuff about his personal life. But … UNFRIENDED! Bah! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Yep--I heard of a lot of instances where "de-friending" is used as a weapon... It can create tons of needles drama. "You've been voted off my island" OR "I'm picking up my marbles and going home, I don't want to play with you anymore..." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 He UNFRIENDED me! It actually hurt my feelings and I still feel the loss of that guy in my life. But it's all for the best … I didn't need to see stuff about his personal life. But … UNFRIENDED! Bah! haha that's sweet Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Yep--I heard of a lot of instances where "de-friending" is used as a weapon... It can create tons of needles drama. "You've been voted off my island" OR "I'm picking up my marbles and going home, I don't want to play with you anymore..." Crikey and I thought it was just people that didn't respond to my messages or didn't care for keeping in touch. Didn't realise they cried themselves to sleep every night just because 'friend' 598 defriended them. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 It can create tons of needles drama. /QUOTE] :o Just caught my typo---Needles drama---would that be a soap opera for junkies? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Crikey and I thought it was just people that didn't respond to my messages or didn't care for keeping in touch. Didn't realise they cried themselves to sleep every night just because 'friend' 598 defriended them. There are people who will internalize that, and let it affect their self-esteem, sadly...... One of my old friends definitely used it as a weapon against another friend. He drunk dialed her at 1 a.m. to complain (jokingly) about never hearing from her or seeing her anymore. I was there, & witnessed the call, he wasn't mean at all. She didn't answer, he left a voice mail. The next morning he woke up to a message from her saying to never call her again, and proclaiming that she was "deleting him from Facebook". We were both floored by that.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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