whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 I haven't a clue how they found out. Maybe they saw us out and about. And i am seriously considering moving back but not sure with this girl and everything. Don't put your life on hold for a woman you just started dating. If what is best for you and your son is to go back home, be around people who love and support you, then do just that. Are you ready for another relationship? Mentally ready and all that goes with it? It might be way too soon..I know you're probably lonely and all, just take things really slowly. Hmm, makes me wonder if they are following you or hired a PI to know what you're doing. Scary thought, huh? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Hmm, makes me wonder if they are following you or hired a PI to know what you're doing. Scary thought, huh? Well, until you realize that The Two Stooges keep tipping their hand and screwing it up for themselves. 1. The file for custody and then attempt a kidnapping in front of multiple witnesses WHILE Pascoe is trying to arrange for INCREASED visitation for them. 2. He's been cool about the aftermath with them and now they are on his back about seeing someone new WHILE they could have been a support for him, likely giving him FEWER reasons to move. Now it looks like they are interfering again, just adding to his isolation and thereby giving him another reason to put some distance between them and his son. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 12, 2013 Author Share Posted January 12, 2013 Don't put your life on hold for a woman you just started dating. If what is best for you and your son is to go back home, be around people who love and support you, then do just that. Are you ready for another relationship? Mentally ready and all that goes with it? It might be way too soon..I know you're probably lonely and all, just take things really slowly. Hmm, makes me wonder if they are following you or hired a PI to know what you're doing. Scary thought, huh? I don't know if i am ready for it and that's why i am taking it so slowly. She is just so good with my son and everything and it would be better for my son to be in DC Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 So this girl basically told me she is inlove but i am not entirely sure i am ready for another deep relationship :/ Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Then be honest and tell her how you feel exactly what you said here. Pas, emotionally you're not ready to be in a serious relationship, even if you care a lot about her and have deep feelings for her. You're still grieving a huge loss, dealing with changes, your in laws, and possibly moving. Timing is all wrong. Explain to her she's done nothing wrong, she's just taking it to the next level too fast. And please, be careful how much time she spends with your son. He could (if he isn't already) become too attached to her. He's young and will cling. And, this woman could be falling for the 'family unit' not only you, so it isn't fair to her to keep things going since you know you're not ready to commit and go serious with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 But i do feel something for her i do i just don't know what and she hasn't really spent a lot of time with my son but they have grown close and it reminds me of what once was and what could have been. I feel awful that i am going to break her heart. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 But i do feel something for her i do i just don't know what and she hasn't really spent a lot of time with my son but they have grown close and it reminds me of what once was and what could have been. I feel awful that i am going to break her heart. You still are grieving the loss of your child's mom, your gf. yes, you probably do care and have feelings for her, but your gut knows the timing is all wrong. What is most important right now is finding a healthy and happy environment for your self and your son...Moving to be with friends and family vs a possible relationship that you're not really that sure about it, having in laws meddling in your life, spying on you and not helping you at all. Do the math.. If you and this girl are serious and keep in touch if you do end up moving, then maybe she'll move closer to where you are, or you'll relocate half way to be closer to her and to still be closer to your family and friends. Don't NOT move because of her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 I know i was just so insanely busy today and i didn't get to tell her but i am not sure about moving either i want to so bad but i just have my businesses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 On top of it i feel so depressed and just wanna drink all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Do not drink. Go to grief counseling..If you can't do that then reach out to your friends, call your parents.. Please don't drink. It's not worth it and if your in laws find out what happened, then hear you're drinking, they will ANY excuse to take your son away. Life isn't easy for you, so please, get some help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Buddy don't go there. I had an alcoholic Dad. If you start using that as a coping skill, it kicks your brain so much it's a cold bitch to climb back out of it. IF you climb back out of it. Totally unfair to your son to develop that as a habit. Go see an IC, call some hotlines. Work it through. Hit harder at the gym. Play with your kid. Check out moderate drinking brain scans and short-term drinking brain scans on the Amen Clinic website. I've only drank once in 11 years. It's a lot better than the alternative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Between working and being at the gym two hours a day don't think i can do it anymore then i already em. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Just can't do it to that girl Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm getting the feeling that your numbness of shock, moving into solo parenting, working as distraction~~>you've begun to feel the pain of loss and loneliness. This is a safe place to open up and spill. Give us a try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 I don't know what it is but i don't want to be alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 Parents are going on a Transatlantic cruise in April and asked me to come along =/ Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Jealous! Consider yourself lucky! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 I guess don't know if i am going to go though. Link to post Share on other sites
NateC Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 What's most important right now is to take some time to recollect your thoughts and where you want to be right now. Don't focus too far into the future - i.e, a relationship or how far it will go. I see you dating this girl as a good thing as she can be your support too. She's going into this knowing full well what has been happening with your life - if she doesn't have the full picture, tell her what's going on. You're in the depression stage of grief ...it's the longest and most difficult to get through especially with the busy life you have otherwise. However, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Just take each challenge one at a time and work through it. Do what's best for your son so you can be the best dad you can possibly be! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Just can't do it to that girl What do you mean? That you can't continue to date her or you can't move away? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Parents are going on a Transatlantic cruise in April and asked me to come along =/ GO!!! Relax and enjoy. You need this holiday..Plus your parents will love that time with their grandson and it'll give you a well needed break for some R'n'R. You're in no healthy head space right now for a good relationship... Let her be a friend and don't let things get serious. You're grieving a huge loss and you don't have anything in you to 'give' to someone else. You're not ready for a relationship, deep down you know this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 What do you mean? That you can't continue to date her or you can't move away? Can't move away from her..... GO!!! Relax and enjoy. You need this holiday..Plus your parents will love that time with their grandson and it'll give you a well needed break for some R'n'R. You're in no healthy head space right now for a good relationship... Let her be a friend and don't let things get serious. You're grieving a huge loss and you don't have anything in you to 'give' to someone else. You're not ready for a relationship, deep down you know this. I know i should go just never been before and its in April already have passports for myself and my son and it leaves out of Tampa just i don't know don't think i need a vacation or anything. I know i am no good for a relationship but i want one i don't want to be alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 Now i really ****ed up with this girl Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 UhOH sounds like a late night um problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 Slept with her and now i feel beyond guilty and bad and just feel worse :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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