Ironvein Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Hello good people. What i am about to post might be pretty common, but it's still very bad. In my opinion atleast. Well... My girlfriend is afraid to eat in front of people. She thinks she looks "ugly" when eating. THIS is one of the reasons why she does not eat lunch at school. It worries me a great deal. I tried convincing to her that she does not look ugly when eating, and that eating is one of the most natural things there is, therefore it's a pointless fear. I just want to be able to make her not feel so insecure about her every move. I was hoping someone has advice on what to say to her about this. If someone helps, thank you really much! Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Is she a healthy weight? Does she eat in front of you and/or close friends and family? How old is she and how long has she been behaving this way. It sounds as though she has an eating disorder of some sort which could have serious consequences for her physical and mental health. It's a good sign that she feels able to tell you about it though. She clearly trusts you. Perhaps you could persuade her to talk to a doctor who can ensure she gets the right kind of professional help. Link to post Share on other sites
cloudatlas Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Aww, I used to be like that. But I had braces, so I mean, it's hard to smile and talk if you're scared of food being caught in them. How old is she? If she's young it might just be a phase, growing into her own skin and so on. Otherwise, if she's eating at home & isn't starving herself, it should be fine. But hey! Does she eat in front of you? You can try getting her to be comfortable eating in front of you, and then eating out with you, just easing her in. It doesn't always have to be an eating disorder if she's eating fine privately. It could just be a self-esteem issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ironvein Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Is she a healthy weight? Does she eat in front of you and/or close friends and family? How old is she and how long has she been behaving this way. It sounds as though she has an eating disorder of some sort which could have serious consequences for her physical and mental health. It's a good sign that she feels able to tell you about it though. She clearly trusts you. Perhaps you could persuade her to talk to a doctor who can ensure she gets the right kind of professional help. I think she is a healthy weight. And no, she has never eaten in front of me, as we are long distance and have not yet met in person. I forgot to mention that, sorry... And nah, i doubt she has an eating disorder. And she is 15 years old, soon 16, so yeah, she is insecure and that's probably normal for this time. Regrettably, she is really stubborn and refuses professional help of almost any kind. Aww, I used to be like that. But I had braces, so I mean, it's hard to smile and talk if you're scared of food being caught in them. How old is she? If she's young it might just be a phase, growing into her own skin and so on. Otherwise, if she's eating at home & isn't starving herself, it should be fine. But hey! Does she eat in front of you? You can try getting her to be comfortable eating in front of you, and then eating out with you, just easing her in. It doesn't always have to be an eating disorder if she's eating fine privately. It could just be a self-esteem issue. She has braces too! They cause some insecurity, but i have told her that the braces make her look no worse and most of the time you don't even remember them. She does eat at home, but she has lost a lot of weight in the last 6 months... She says she won't starve herself, but i worry about it still. When we will move together, i will have to try and make her feel better about eating around other people. And yeah, i think it's a self-esteem issue, her self-esteem is really low. She is depressed though. And so am i. The reason i worry so much about her is because i am depressed and it's just too easy to let bad feelings take hold of your mind. Anyway, sorry to ramble, thank you for the helpful replies! Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I think she is a healthy weight. And no, she has never eaten in front of me, as we are long distance and have not yet met in person. I forgot to mention that, sorry... And nah, i doubt she has an eating disorder. And she is 15 years old, soon 16, so yeah, she is insecure and that's probably normal for this time. Regrettably, she is really stubborn and refuses professional help of almost any kind. She has braces too! They cause some insecurity, but i have told her that the braces make her look no worse and most of the time you don't even remember them. She does eat at home, but she has lost a lot of weight in the last 6 months... She says she won't starve herself, but i worry about it still. When we will move together, i will have to try and make her feel better about eating around other people. And yeah, i think it's a self-esteem issue, her self-esteem is really low. She is depressed though. And so am i. The reason i worry so much about her is because i am depressed and it's just too easy to let bad feelings take hold of your mind. Anyway, sorry to ramble, thank you for the helpful replies! Insecurity in some aspects are normal. But deliberatly not eating due to insecurity is not normal. Since you have not met it makes it more difficult. Do you have plans to meet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ironvein Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Yes, we have planned to meet, but due to the bad financial state my family is in right now it might not happen any time soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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