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Aw hell, did I scare him off????


thatgothicchick

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thatgothicchick

Hoookay...

 

So, I have fallen deeply in love with one of my guy-friends, who happens to be dating someone else. That's fine, I'm not going to try and get in the way, but he did eventually coax me into telling him how I felt. He was fine with it, and we continued to hang out...then as the months went by, he seemed to lose complete interest in me as a friend (or anything at all) all together...so, being someone that on very bad nights has a tendency to cook up frightening situations when everything is likely okay in reality, I e-mailed him and asked if everything was okay...and I told him once again that he didn't ever have to worry about hurting my feelings because of how I feel for him...

 

Too much? He e-mailed me back quickly though and said that everything was fine, and just to text him again when I wanted to hang out/talk...then he told me that he had the next day off if I wanted to hang out. Awesome! So I texted him once...waited about 3 hours, then called once. He called me back again later and said that he made plans with a friend that morning...

 

I f-ed it up, didn't I? I probably made myself sound like a desperate, lovesick drooling idiot...

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Not so much from where I am standing. There are sh*t-loads of things that I have discovered about myself and others as I slowly stagger my way towards eventual decrepitude and post-mortem rigor.

 

The thing that I have discovered that I think may be relevant in your situation is about people and promises.

 

Type A: Those who make promises readily and casually without much consideration or worry about whether they should honour them. Sometimes they make them at the same time as deciding that they have no intention to honour them, just to make their lives, in that moment, convenient.

 

Type B: (Me). Those are the type who would prefer to not make a promise if they either cannot or do not want to keep it. That can make for an existence that can be both awkward and tense at times because whatever ramifications that may flow from not being prepared to make the promise have to faced up to and dealt with there and then.

 

By now, you will have realised that I think your friend is probably a Type A character. Track back in your memory for similar occurrences, maybe over different issues. They will be there.

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