Barrsitter Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 after many months of NC wondering what you were up to, what would you say? Link to post Share on other sites
wanting more Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I Wouldn't say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
wisernow Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 after many months of NC wondering what you were up to, what would you say? It would never happen seeing as I've totally blocked all access. Chapter is closed. Sorry, guess I'm not much help... Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I ended my last email to him - do not contact me or I'll take steps to make sure you don't - by saying "I don't want to hear from you ever again." If I would say anything it would be "Don't you ever, ever talk to me again." My life is none of his business. His choice, so what is there to wonder about how I am other than get confirmation or some sign that I'm not over him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I have been married and divorced since my last relationship with a MM. Yet once in awhile I still get an email from one or the other. I used to just ignore them, but recently replied something like: Look, what it was for you it was not for me. The me you knew simply did not exist. Stop emailing me. I think I will not hear from them again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I often think of this even though more often than not I doubt I'll hear from her ever again. The first answer is to say nothing at all. The second thing I think of saying and seems to be far more prevalent is, GO F**k YOURSELF. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 after many months of NC wondering what you were up to, what would you say? Mine contacted me after one year of NC on my birthday, saying he called me at midnight but he guessed my number changed and how he still remembered my birthday and still loved me and wanted to explain. I was not amused, esp since I had just broken up with my boyfriend 2 days prior and I just wasn't interested in what he had to say. I also wondered if he was nuts to think that we hadn't spoken in a year and he could just call me at midnight like it was nothing. He asked for my number to call me and I was very curt but eventually did give it to him. I must add though, he was not married, so one of the things (that also led me into the A) was the belief that he probably was no longer in a relationship...since ending a marriage takes a lot more fanfare than an unmarried relationship. Were he married I would definitely not allow him to contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Barrsitter Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 great answers!!!! especially cute dragon and Rick fox. I have thought about this myself and think I would probably not respond at all. or I might tell him to go F himself. would depend on how charitable I am feeling at the time, or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I like what Rick said Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 LOL @ the replies. Don't get me wrong, there was a point in time I would have welcomed it. It's difficult because most of the folks here are women and I can see men trying over and over and Ive looked for answers as to whether OW married or not, would try to contact their xAP once the dust settles. Fact is, I did get two messages from her in early May, after I returned to the front of the school to get my daughter. When I saw the "hey" and the "hi", I really was enraged, flabbergasted, pissed off and the list went on. She had the nerve to tell me to never talk to her again, that all was right in her marriage and then she contacts me? My first thought was who in the F does she think she is!? My wife is still adamant she will once again make an attempt and that to me only fuels the fire, I am no longer eagerly awaiting a response and have nothing but contempt for her now. So yes, I will stick with my answer of Go F yourself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Breathless Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I think about this often too! But NC was established the of DDay without any words spoken. We kinda just vanished from each others lives... Some days I feel like RickFox with the whole GO F@CK YOURSELF approach. Some days I feel like I would smile if he did reach out to me. But then again, the A was ended without a sad goodbye, a mutual understanding, or angry words. Which means that we understand that WE BOTH made a mistake and WE BOTH are at fault. So the whole GO F YOURSELF feeling doesn't last long bc he (just like me) is only human...Sucks bc it makes the day go by faster when I'm all fired up with that attitude! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Barrsitter Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 (edited) Rick...I am with you. I was unmarried when seeing my xmm, who made promises he never kept. I keep hoping he will contact me so I can ignore his emails like he would ignore mine if he didn't feel like being honest. I often have this fantasy that I run into him somewhere and he asks how I am and I turn and walk away. Or he's with a group of people who introduce me to him and I pretend I don't know him. Or he shows up telling me his wife died and he wants to see me. The answers here are varied depending on my mood...."oh your wife died? That's tough. See ya." Or "hmm...you want to see me again? I'll get back to you" and I never do. Or "You want to know if I still love you? Um...actually...I don't give a rat's ass about you, Pal." Well, you get the idea. It's either hit the ignore button or it's a full frontal F-U. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Edited November 16, 2012 by Barrsitter Link to post Share on other sites
hurting tonight Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I wouldn't hear from him, his last email ended with take care. Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenPrincess Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I wouldn't hear from him, his last email ended with take care. Same here...he said "Well I don't know when I'll see you again (nervous laugh), but I wish you all the best. Take care" Hopefully with more time, I'll get to the point where I feel indifferent about the thought of hearing from him. Link to post Share on other sites
hurting tonight Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Every so often when I receive an email I feel nervous wondering if it is from my xmm. Then relief that it's not. Hopefully I will get to the point where he will never cross my mind. I look back now and think what a fool you where to think he cared and wanted to be with with me.. He was selfish, it was all about him. I was a fool who fell in love. Currently I'm dating a wonderful man. I see the way a man who really cares about a woman treats a woman. This man is an angel. I look at him though and feel that I don't deserve because of all the awful things I've done with my affair and the people I hurt. I hope someday I can get over those feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Barrsitter Posted November 18, 2012 Author Share Posted November 18, 2012 "take care". Really? That's all he could come up with? Lame-0. Not sure what it is about EAs but when they come crashing down, there are no survivors and no friendship beyond. IMO, a happy ending to an EA that falls apart, is total indifference to the x. Link to post Share on other sites
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