1 month no contact ruined by ex. Now more confused than ever. Advice please.

[dugs]

I just successfully endured through a whole month (which seemd like an eternity) of no contact. I tried to do the whole "friends" deal for like a month and a half but realized that it just wasn't going to work for me as it was just to painful for me. After a month I really was feeling alot better. I was getting myself back into shape after not eating and sleeping that much for like a month, and not to mention my self esteem was going up again. I really was starting to move on and get happy again.

 

Then a couple of nights ago I was at my friends house with a bunch of my buddies and guess who shows up! So I decide that ignoring her would be the best thing for me to do because I had already gone a month without talking to her. This situation is messy because my best buddies girlfriend is good friends with my ex, and so are my friends, so I new that I would be put in this situation sooner or later. I just never knew how I would react.

 

So anyways I was doing a fine job of ignoring her all night (very proud) and then I go to the fridge to get another beer and I turn around and she is standing right behind me. She comes up to me and says Hi in a real friendly tone of voice and initiates a conversation. I am really drunk at this point and I didn't know whether to walk away or talk to her so I do the stupid thing and start talking to her. I say "hi how are you blah,blah,blah". Anyways we end up talking and hanging out the rest of the night and at the end of the night she gives me a little more than friendly hug (you know the kind that last more than two seconds) and she tells me that I can call her. So I say "well your more than welcome to call me as well" and she says "you said you would call me last time I saw you" and she is right about that.

 

Now, WTF! I woke up yesterday feeling miserable again. Seing and talking to her has ignited all those old feelings that I had for her, feelings that I don't want anymore because I they hurt so bad. I spent all last night in bed, unable to sleep because I could not get her off my mind. What ****ing right does she have to **** with me again!! I was doing so good and now that is all ruined! I'm completely sad again.

 

I quit talking to her in the first place because I would call her and she sometimes would'nt return my calls and that would make me even more disapointed and sad. Somtimes we would make plans to hang out and she would break them. It was too much for me.

 

Now I want to call her really bad right now, but I'm scared of getting sucked back into the situation I was in before. I was miserable back then and don't want to go back. If I call her and she doesn't answer or return my call I will be crushed. But on the other hand, its been a month since we talked and maybe if we have a fresh start things will be different. I know why she broke up with me in the first place and it was partly my fault, but I feel like I have changed. She is still single right now and I feel that if I just ignore her again then she will eventually meet someone and forget about me. I think I should give it one last shot. Fight the good fight. Right?

 

I'm so confused and sad right now, I don't want to have to feel this way everytime I see her around yet I can't stop hanging out with my best friends, who I really need for support right now. Sometimes I wish that she would just drop off the face of the planet or move away or somthing so I don't have to see her ever again.

 

Any advice would be appreciated.

[aFighter]

Honestly, the ball is in your court. You can go back to ignoring her or you can try to get back together. From what I've seen on my travels the latter is a huge risk. You expose yourself to a pain far far worse than what you feel right now if she tells you to get lost you'll be ten times as bad as before. Even if you do get back together there's no guarantee it'll work. Times change, people don't.

If it were me I'd chalk that hug etc. to old times and go back to my No Contact thing & don't bother with that hope that she'll call or leave a message, you're just setting yourself up for a huge disappointment 90% of the time.

[Blah Toolz]

I think I would have left the party right when... or a few minutes after she showed up. Been like "Sorry bros... gotta work early tomorrow, gotta bounce."