i want him back...anybody have a way to?

[bm]

anybody with advice please help b/c i need it.My bf broke up with me about a week and half ago after dating a year and 3 months.I have been taking this pretty hard,all i really want to do is get back together.however when we broke up my bf pretty much crushed all hope of that happening he said he doesn't have the energy to go through it again.my bf said the reason for us breaking up was bc he thought i was sometimes selfish like when he would want to go out with friends he said i made him feel guilty about being with them and not me which i don't think i did often if at all other reason said was how he doesn't know if he can trust me but I've never cheated on him or gave him reason not to plus he said he often felt like he wasn't priority that my friends seemed to often come first he just said everything is just adding up and he doesn't have the energy to try to make it work any more etc.I told I'm i would change and work on fixing things but he wouldn't give me a chance to prove it he said i had a chance before which i previously had but i didn't really change bc i didn't think i would lose him since i did though I've had time to think and really will change this time I've been trying to come up with ways to get him back but haven't really came up with any my friends haven't really been much help either they just tell me things like it'll get easier with time or there's other guys out there etc but i feel that my ex is the only guy that i want and love so if anybody has any suggestions or help at all please let me know

[Dork]

give him a call to say hi

[HoldOn]

Since he felt that you were smoothering him, the best way to get him back is to leave him completely alone and wait for him to come to you. Be nice and happy and responsive, but don't initiate.

[TrueSmiles12]

wow bm,

u sound EXACTLY like me. my ex-bf and i have been broken up for about 2 months now however. and im still struggling to cope with it, ugh. anyways, your situation is so similar to mine, its scary. he had the same reasons for breaking up -- not having the energy to go through with it anymore. if u want, search my posts and read them. they are quite interesting...

 

and well, i have found that as much energy and time i put into thinking about getting back together with him, it is only hurting me more because i am living on false hope that we are going to have our second chance. my ex is very immature, so i know that even if he still had feelings for me, he would still reassure himself that breaking up with me was the best decision he could ever make. he will not admit his wrongs.

 

right after we broke up, i was very much in denial. all i could think of was how to get him back. but i didn't want to bother him, i didn't want to chase him away. so i waited for him to come around on his own -- gave him time to think of his decision.. and well, he started contacting me, on his own. that's when the false hope started to kick in -- WHY was he contacting me??

 

anyways, i totally feel you -- i wish there was just a way -- one way to get that person that we love and care about so much back with us. but i can't force him to be with me when he is just so stubborn and so blind.. and it totally sucks to hear other people tell you to move on, that there will be someone better, blah blah blah.. it's not what we want to hear now, ya know? we want to hear that there is a second chance for us.. but in all honesty, TIME is the only thing that can give you answers.

 

the more time that goes by and especially the more time that goes by that he does not contact me anymore, i get sad, i go through a lot of emotions, but i'm doing all this on my own.. the false hope or any hope for that matter fades.. things become clearer. if he doesn't come around anymore like he used to, then he just doesn't care, that he really isn't ready for something serious..

 

everyday i wait and expect for something to happen, ya know.. the ball is in his court, i can't go chasing after him like a lost dog, that will only scare him away at this point, even annoy him.

 

give it time...... let things happen on their own

[bm]

not much has changed from before.thanks for your guys advice though.i guess ill just have to wait and see what happens with time like you said cus theres not much else i can do.i tried to invite him to a movie for his b-day as friends since he said he still wanted to be friends but his reply was that he doesnt think he could handle that yet which kinda confuses me since he is the one that decided we should break up.so things arent looking really bright and i really hate the fact i cant tell whats going to happen in the future and that i cant have him back.Hopefully if i give him space for a little while he'll come back but just as you guys said the choice is his so who knows.my friends tell me to go out and have but i dont feel like it nor want to.The only maybe positive thing that might come out of me going out is that my friends said it might get back to him so then he would know i wasnt sitting at home crying and that i was "supposedly" moving on therefore he might realize that he doesnt want to lose me and come back but i dont know if that all would exactly work.Im just really upset and depressed so hopefully something postive will happen.