I'm in a mess help advice needed?

[wizard08]

Well I was doing my diploma in computing at the local uni and decided this really isn't the path for me. Well i did the 2 years and last year failed every single exam, they sent all the coursework through the post for me to re-do over the summer holiday I took 1 look at it and dumped it all in the bin, well where am I no seems like i'm back where I started, actually feels like i'm stuck in a rut. I've been working at a local supermarket for over a year now and this is not what i would like to end up doing for the rest of my life. Well this is a serois option One of my other options is to join the armed forces, royal-navy but the problem is i could be killed or serioulsy injured doing this type of career i mean what if there's another war. Plus on top of all this i tend to worry too much eg what will i be doing 10 years from now etc, am feeling exhausted and fed-up the way my life has turned out. There so many jobs i've applied for but i never hear anything back, it's usually lack of experience or we don't think you're qualified for this job. I really don't have a clue what to do I know that higher education s not the answer for me been there done that back to square one.

[Papillon]

Complete and utter horse-shyte, from start to finish.

 

You can do anything and become anything if you want it enough and are prepared to work hard at it. I'll wager you didn't apply yourself in your studies, that's why you failed. Now you're trying to rationalize it to yourself, but you know it's pure sophistry.

 

You're letting a bunch of papers (now lying in a bin) beat you. Why are you throwing away your self-respect?

 

Lemme tell you something...there is NOTHING that gives more satisfaction than achieving something and knowing that is was your own hard work and passion that made it happen.

 

Seems like you want everything to fall into your lap. Do you want to be another loser getting it Doled out to yourself?

 

For god's sake, man! Square your shoulders, restore that stiff upper lip, go dig those papers out of the bin and finish the goddamn course. You'll be glad you did it, trust me. You know you can do it. I don't know you, but *I* know you can do it. You're not a higher vertebrate for nothing!

 

Be a man that others can respect, and who can respect himself.

[moimeme]

Well, actually, it is pure idiocy to force yourself into a career you have no love for. That way lies disaster. I've known several people that tried that and failed utterly.

 

A pretty nifty lady wrote a book on how to figure out what you really want and so far, of all the 'career' books I've seen, this one has my vote for being the smartest even though it was written years ago. And the other nifty thing is that she's put it online free.

 

Give it a read at http://www.wishcraft.com She takes you through various exercises to help you sort out where your heart lies.

[Papillon]

Computing isn't a career, it's a career skill. Being computer and application literate will open many many doors, much more than intimate knowledge of a destroyer's deck and a mop will do.

 

Regardless of the career path, he isn't chucking because it's not for him, he's chucking it because he feels a failure at it.

 

Maybe I'm just too cynical, but I don't think a book is going to teach wizard08 how to stick to the plan , which is the main problem here. I'm almost 30, and I love my job, but I doubt I've found where my heart lies.

[moimeme]

I'm almost 30, and I love my job, but I doubt I've found where my heart lies.

 

So what's your point? That you may not be following your dream so nobody else ought to either? He can pick up computing skills without taking computer courses. I've never taken a university course in computing but I've easily learned all I've needed to know to do all the jobs I've had - including using relational databases and creating small dbs.

 

He failed ALL his courses. His skills are clearly not in that field and there are thousands and thousands of other jobs a person can do.

 

I don't think a book is going to teach wizard08 how to stick to the plan

 

You could, of course, try reading the book before you judge it. In fact, the second half of the book is devoted to teaching him EXACTLY that. Plus, it gives tons of strategies on how to go about it.

 

'Sticking to a plan' is not that smart a thing to do if the plan is dumb to start off with. He's brilliant to realize after just one year that computing isn't for him. I've known people to get four-year degrees only to discover that they hated the careers they spent so much time and money on getting.

[Papillon]

Moimeme, I'm not judging the book, I just think it's an extrinsic attempted solution to an intrinisic problem. I don't buy it for a NANOSECOND that he failed the course because it wasn't for him - he failed because he didnt apply himself. If he's too dumb to pass a computing course then he should stick to the supermarket. Obviously this isn't the case - he can do it if he wants to. In any event, the nature of the course isn't the issue here.

 

When I was younger and still in varsity, I majored in Biological Science (Zoology, Botany, Biochemistry, Genetics, etc). I also realised halfway through that it wasn't for me, but I got very good grades. The difference - I realised that I had made a choice and that I had a resposibility to myself to finish what I had started, even though many times I hated it with a passion. Today I'm a software developer, but it does not mean that my education in Biology was wasted time and effort. It taught me how to work hard, think straight and to reach out for the things I want, and I can carry my head high with the knowledge that it didn't fall into my lap, and that it's mine through blood, sweat and tears.

 

Book? I didn't need no stinkin book to teach me self respect. It came from inside.

 

Instead of reading a goddamn self-help book, he should dig his course materials outta the bin, and read THEM. That's the best self help ever.

[moimeme]

that he failed the course because it wasn't for him - he failed because he didnt apply himself. If he's too dumb to pass a computing course then he should stick to the supermarket

 

Again, it was ALL his courses and that a person fails computer courses does not mean he's dumb. People are talented differently and clearly his skills don't lie along the lines of computing. I'm sure I could try to do architecture courses endlessly and never succeed - my spatial skills are not great.

 

I realised that I had made a choice and that I had a resposibility to myself to finish what I had started, even though many times I hated it with a passion

 

Well hooray for you. There's hating something and then there's not being good at it. Can you repair cars? Cook? Build furniture? I'm guessing that even you can't do everything splendidly. Most normal mortals can't.

 

Instead of reading a goddamn self-help book, he should dig his course materials outta the bin, and read THEM. That's the best self help ever.

 

Oh get off the pot. Apparently, your written self-help advice is somehow superior to that written by anybody else. So he may not read somebody else's written advice but he should read, and heed, yours - is that it?

 

The difference? The book I recommended is in its second printing and has spawned an awful lot of success teams and other benefits, including people who, having followed its advice, have succeeded. Can you claim the same?

 

Thought not. So he should shun a successful career counselling professional in favour of you because......?

[Papillon]

Well...it just so happens that I CAN repair cars, cook and build furniture

 

The only way to learn whether something is for you is to actually do it. He's not even at that point because he has given up before he even started. *I* know that he can do the bloody computing course. Higher education, hell, ANY education, isn't the reserve of smart people. It's meant for hard workers.

 

Success in ANYTHING is exactly the same. It's not about how smart you are, but how much you are prepared to sacrifice to reach that goal. This issue is not about dumb or smart - it's about dedication. You either have it or you don't, and reading a stultifying fuzzy wuzzy book about visualizing our goals, finding your inner child, and all that other crap, isn't going to teach it to you.

 

Moimeme, the point is, he can read the book, and even reach some great insights about himself - but is that magically going to give him a future? Is it going to tell him what he wants to be? Somehow I don't think so.

 

I love what I do dearly, but who knows what I might want to do in twenty years' time? People change, but at least if he finishes the course it'll give him a sounder footing to find his dreams. Right now he's just floundering around. Life isn't perfect, and we have to face up to that fact.

 

You have to be practical, even if it means sorting mail to finance your dreams of owning your own business one day, for example.

 

P.S Your post verges on that fine line of becoming a personal attack. Not nice.

[wizard08]

Well the computing course I took, it was stuff to do with mathematics and clearly i'm not to good at that as it felt i was re-sitting all my maths classes again.