pinkpoppy Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 This is kind of a long, convoluted story. I was with a man for 3 years, and everything was really perfect. There were a few fights and instances of hints of violence, I suppose, looking back... but overall, I was very happy and felt loved. One night, he drank to excess and was on prescription pain pills, too. He ended up beating me up while I was driving him home from a party he passed out at. After this happened, I left him. I moved out and didn't talk to him for months... But he proved himself, by giving up alcohol entirely and going to counseling and saying all the right things. After a year, I moved back in with him and started giving the relationship a go again. Recently, he began drinking again. It makes me uncomfortable, despite no signs of violence. Also, I just feel very detached from him after what happened, and I want to move on. At the same time, I don't want to move on, and I feel like I am overlooking his very good qualities by focusing on the SINGLE event when he beat me up. Tonight, I am back at my mom's house and just an emotional wreck. I feel like I cannot function without him... not because of anything he has done; before I left he even told me I was a capable and intelligent woman, and I would be fine without him. But I don't feel fine. I feel at a complete standstill, because I'm having a hard time connecting with him, feeling safe, feeling loved, and feeling like I want to continue things... but I am not ready to say goodbye and lose the love and friendship I have. He is a very good man, and had always been a very good influence in my life. We just had this one very devastating event. Please, please help. I am so confused and emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 NO partner should make you feel that bad. If they make you feel that bad, they are not the right person for you. You did the right thing. Trust your gut. He never changed. He just put on a good front - all abusers do. Read this book to find out more about such people, so that you don't pick another guy like him. It will change everything. Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Lundy Bancroft: 9780425191651: Amazon.com: Books Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 And for heaven's sake, start seeing a therapist! The only reason you accepted the bad treatment is a low self esteem. So see a therapist and start learning to love yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lovehurtz23 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 i understand how u feel completely, im in the same situation besides he doesnt drink and im pregnant and im not strong enough to leave, it will get better just be strong Link to post Share on other sites
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