Will I ever get over the affair?

[myangelboys3]

[color=indigo][/color] Hello everyone. I am new here and was excited to find this website. I have been looking for some time. Last February I found out my husband of 10 years had an affair. It lasted about a month while he was traveling with work. The worst part was I was recovering from a hysterectomy and I feel like he took advantage of that and went looking for sex. The dummy came home and set her up on messenger service and I found the strange email address and sent a letter. Well the response I got back was all I needed to see to know the truth. She thought she was writing to my husband and was very explicit. He admitted everything and said they only had sex one time but I do not believe it. Well I was doing better until recently. He just became a police officer in April and now I am so insecure with everything he does. He is away at the academy right now but I worry he will do this again when he gets back. He says he got into something he did not know how to get out of. Of course I am not that stupid to believe that. I just want to know if I will ever get over this. I agreed to give him a second chance for my kids sake and I dearly love him but I dont feel he loves me now. He tells me he is happy with me and wants this marriage to work. Does anyone have any advice. Will we be happy again or are we doomed? Thanks

[supermom]

Have you tried counceling? Is the OW from before out of his life? How does he treat you?

[misspope]

My best freind asked me the same question about a year ago, and I asked her, can you get over what happened. My hubby cheated on me and have i gotten over it, yes I am secure in myself, but have I forgotten, NO. It is hard, so hard when you love someone and you want thigns to work, but you can not stop thinking about where he is, who is he talking to ect. made me feel like I was going crazy. But then I realized I am a great woman, great mom, and if all else fails, whats going to happen? I will have my house, have my kids and know I did what I could. wont be the end of the world just the end of me and my hubby's world. Find strength in something or someone, you made the first step, you came here!

[pedwin]

Hi there,

I just found this site last night and read your letter.

 

I have been married for 9 years to a man with three children. I have raised his oldest and she is now 18 and getting ready to go to college in a week.

 

A month ago the phone rang and a girl asked to speak to my husband. When he got off the phone I found out that he had been seeing this girl for 6 years. It had ended 4 years ago. She never knew I existed. He was living a separate life. He was seeing her when we got married.

 

We are in counseling but I can't seem to get over it. When I met him he was married. He left her and married me. My previous husband was an alcoholic and he killed himself.

 

I hate for all of this to be for nothing but I can't get over the fact that he lied to me for 8 years. two of them when we were just living together. My whole married life and before has been a lie.

 

So in answer to your question I don't think you ever get over being lied to and deceived. I am making our lives miserable because I am still so angry.

 

pedwin