Contact

[Ready2Settle]

Is it ever bad to back off from a guy and not contact when you want more out of a relationship? I am specifically referring to the whole Mars/Venus concept of not chasing a guy...letting him have space to come towards you rather than pursuing? Does this upset some men or does it usually work if they are truly interested in you?

[GiddyUp8]

If you really don't know this guy, or have little time with him, then some space can be good thing, showing you're independent and have your own life etc.

 

if you have known him awhile and have some dates etc under you belt then why waste time, most guys barring the scared to commit will find it attractive if a woman they're interested pursues them or shows interest.

[RR1]

The difficulty with a question like this is any answer is going to be a generalization, people as we know are all different and what works with one guy is not necessarly going to work wih the next guy. So it's important to know the guy a bit and know what works with him. Spme people hate to be smothered and others dislike low/minimal interaction.

 

Speaking for myself when i show an interest in someone i like to chat/text/email them on a regular basis. And when i'm showing an interest in someone i always like it when i get the impression that thet are showing an interest back and bascially reciprocating my interest. So if i'm texting someone or ringing someone on a regular basis and they are always slow to respond or don't respond at all i start to lose interest, i think they are either not that interested or they are playing with me a bit. I don't think this on the basis or one or two slow responses or because they have failed to respond to one thing but if i find i'm in a situation where pretty much every contact gets ignored or gets a very slow response then that tactic back-fires very badly with me i'm afarid. After a while of this i might bring it up in conversation and if after that it still continues then that's pretty much it for me as far as pursuing someone goes. I figure if they were that interested in me they'd want to talk to me and see me.

 

So all in all i would be fairly cautious about trying that line of approach if i were you. If you find you are doing all the chasing and getting nothing back or little back then be a bit wary, by the same degree if he is making an effort with you i'd advise showing some interest back. Some guys may get all enthusiastic if you play hard to get but many won't, and more importantly even the guys who do enjoy that sort of thing will start to lose interest if you do too much of the playing hard to get, that sort of tactic is really only viable in the very early stages of relationship when you are trying to figure out if a guy is interested or not. If you keep playing that card after he has declared his interest then you will only push him away or push him into the just friends category.

[charlietheginger]

Put it simple.....

Cat and mouse....

 

If the mouse runs towars the cat....

The cat is taken offguard thinking what

Is this mouse crazy or something....

 

If the mouse stays infront of the cat

The cat will want to chase....

 

If the mouse gets to far out of site the cat loses

Interest ..

 

So.... With that said. .

Dont over Persue a guy he will think your crazy

Dont stay to far away or he loses interest...

If the mouse sits still cat will lose interest mouse

Is no longer fun to play with

Stay within contact let the mouse have fun

But keep enough space to keep the cat

interested but not so much space he loses

Interest....

 

landing a man is a fine balancing act...

Edited November 19, 2012 by charlietheginger

[Ceran]

ignore this bull**** talk

 

the only thing that matters is if you're pretty enough

 

there are no tricks or "game" you can use to manipulate him, besides being pretty and skinny

 

reverse is also true

[RR1]

I can see you put a lot of thought into that response Ceran. I can tell you are a deep thinker who likes to weigh all the options before giving an answer.