Dating a new guy and he's still sleeping with his booty call...

[fredrolin]

Originally posted by She's Come Undone

 

So, fred, do you think a month is an appropriate amount of time before getting sexual?

 

A month of seeing each other every two-three days? Is there really any standard?

 

 

 

 

10 years ago I met a woman in a bar and 2 hours later we had sex. Today this woman is my wife and we have been faithful to each other since that night.

 

Everybody is different.

 

The difference with my wife and I was that no LIES, GAMES, ex lovers, booty calls, etc. were ever a factor in the development of our relationship.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by She's Come Undone

Hypothesisises???

 

How about experiences? Statistics? Facts? No? Don't buy that?

: No. I don't 'buy that'. You can't apply science to individual situations. You guys made some guesses, basically told her she's a slut, decided he'd never have respect for her, turned out to be wrong--and instead of being happy for her, you're so dissapointed that you were wrong, you're actually wishing her ill will.

[fredrolin]

Originally posted by dyermaker

you're so dissapointed that you were wrong, you're actually wishing her ill will.

 

 

how can we change? How can we be perfect like you?

[She's Come Undone]

Originally posted by dyermaker

 

: No. I don't 'buy that'. You can't apply science to individual situations. You guys made some guesses, basically told her she's a slut, decided he'd never have respect for her, turned out to be wrong--and instead of being happy for her, you're so dissapointed that you were wrong, you're actually wishing her ill will.

 

Don't get at me babe.

 

1. I don't view experiences as "scientific."

2. If you can't apply you own personal experiences to other peoples situations, WHY THE *** ARE ANY OF US ON HERE???????????????????????????????? Aren't we all looking for advice...? Don't many posts start with "Have any of you been in this situation...?

3. She shouldn't have wasted our time asking for advice when she was simply going to do her own thing anyway!!

[Taken_Angel]

I'm glad that it worked out for you at least for now. I don't want to be "right" I want someone to be able to avoid ending up hurting bad emotionally and not understanding why.

 

You said he could wait for years....probably because he will call someone else when he gets hard up for sex.

 

You already caught him in a lie! He said he had NOT talked to her at all since last week yet when you said "why don't you tell her" and he came back with "how do you know I didn't already" come on...he's telling you what you want to hear!

When did he tell her, last time you'd asked he hadn't told her and he claimed he hadn't spoken to her since...so when did he tell her?? Hello red flag he either...

1)has talked to her since he said he hadn't (and could have slept w/her)

or

2) he hasn't talked to her and hasn't told her to leave him alone or that he's "involved"

 

 

The only way you'll know for sure is if you asked her yourself (chances are he wouldn't allow you to do so).

[fredrolin]

Don't waste time with this case.

 

This young lady is infatuated with this player and until she gets burned you won't get through to her.

[Cupcake]

But I'm glad that you are happy. Time will only tell if he's just playing you for a fool. I hope it works out for the best for you.

 

I also agree that the it is a major case of infatuation. Sorry !!!

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by She's Come Undone

1. I don't view experiences as "scientific."

Then why would you equate experience to fact or statistic?

2. If you can't apply you own personal experiences to other peoples situations, WHY THE *** ARE ANY OF US ON HERE???????????????????????????????? Aren't we all looking for advice...? Don't many posts start with "Have any of you been in this situation...?

The point was, she didn't take your advice, and she's happy now. Instead of being happy that things are working out, you're sticking by what you said, because you'd rather be right than have her be successful.

3. She shouldn't have wasted our time asking for advice when she was simply going to do her own thing anyway!!

How ridiculous. You ask for advice because you want to know what others are thinking, not because you want to put control of your life in the hands of complete strangers.

[beautiful]

I am going to give it to you very straight and it may seem harsh to you however this may help you!

 

You need help! Big time! You know this guy a few days, you have sex with him and already you stalking him? (Going over there to see if the other girl was there).

 

This is discusting yes HOWEVER..................you need help. Please get that and keep away from this guy because he is just as ill.

 

Don't you feel as a woman you deserve better? I think so however you put yourself there BY CHOICE as YOU SAID.

 

I don't think of a woman as a slut if she decides to have sex with a guyon the first date! This was your choice and not for me to judge. I just think you selling yourself very short here and are into something that will only bring you a lot of pain. As I see it, you got what you asked for behaving this way! No man will respect you. and have a healthy relationship with you.

 

 

 

God Bless.

[KK'sLove]

Wow! I didn't get to see all those posts, in fact, the only page I ever saw till tonight was the 1st page, everytime I clicked on the 2nd page it wouldn't display it. So for all of you that are rudely complaining that I never took your advice...I didn't even get to read it till tonight. And I must say that I am shocked by what some of you wrote.

 

1) Some of you are attacking me. You don't even know me. I'm one of the kindest people you could ever meet.

 

2) I'm 28. I have had very serious relationships and 3 of them asked me to marry them...so I seriously don't think I'm a bad person. In fact, these ex's are all still my closest friends and still tell me they love me everytime they talk to me.

 

3) I'm not infatuated with him or obsessed with him or anything like that. I like him...plain and simple. I drove past his house because I would rather find out in the beginning if he is a bad guy then later on. It was wrong for me to do it but haven't you ever went on an impulse, and then later think what am I doing? I have dated 12 guys since March, some of them more serious than others. Most I can tell you that I haven't been interested in. And for the record, every single one of them asked me out again and again, not one stopped dating me, it was my choice that I walked....so again, how bad can I be.

The difference with this one is that we talk for hours at a time, only once was I able to get him off the phone after talking for almost two hours. He's the one who carries the conversations and makes them last so long.

 

4) The night he spent the night, I repeated over and over that we would not be having sex and he said okay and that he still wanted to come over. My friends did tell me to tease him but I didn't tease him, in fact, I simple put an end to it before he got too worked up. Like I said, once I realized he had gotten hard (which was not what I wanted!)...I stopped him, because I didn't want to do that to him. I needed to know that he wanted to be with me for more than just sex and I think he proved that by spending the night in the first place.

 

5) I thought he was lying to me but I haven't caught him in any lies. One of the posts mentioned him lying about talking to the booty call. I either miswrote it or you misread it. He spoke to her yesterday and that was the first time since last week. Yesterday, is when he told her that he was done with her. It was the first time that she had called him since last week and I thought it was respectful of him to tell her.

 

6) Dyer Maker- You are great! I agree with all of your comments back and I appreciate that you have been kind and have stuck up for me. Thank you very much!!

 

7) Did you ever think that maybe people just need a chance to show you that they are a good person. I think this guy is a good person and I wouldn't want to be with him if I didn't. I needed him to show me that and I think that he has and I hope will continue to.

 

8) I am on this site for advice and some of the feedback I don't agree with but I understand where you are coming from and I still appreciate the advice. Like one person wrote, she is here to get advice, not to let you control her life. This is true. I have now been able to read all of these and again, I understand that most of you are telling me to run. Though that is not what I want to do and probably won't do unless I catch him lying to me...I'm glad you wrote. This is a dating situation that I have never been in before and I needed and wanted to know what others think about it. It boils down to that we all make are our decisions and yes that includes making our own happiness and misery, but we still like to hear other's opinions...good or bad. What I think should be different is the tone and the tactic that some of you choose to write in. You can be honest, disapproving, straight to the point, but you don't have to be rude or insulting. To all of you that wrote to me with a respectful or caring tone, I appreciate it.

 

9) The only other person I slept with this early on worked out great. We had a wonderful relationship even though the first night started out with sex. So you can't use this as a judge because he was the 2nd person to ask me to marry him. The only reason I broke up with him was because I had to move 2 states away to come home and take care of my grandmother who is very ill and it wasn't fair to either of us to continue it.

 

10) Why can't you just be happy for me that things have started to improve and that he's making an effort to make it better. You don't want me to get hurt...I understand that, either do I...but my guard is up, so I'm making an effort to protect myself. I'm an intelligent person, yes, I have done some stupid things but I'm making an effort to not repeat mistakes.

 

Okay!