Dexter7 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Hi all, 4 weeks ago I met an awesome girl in a bar. She was really friendly, very easy to talk to, basically I couldn't fault her. It quickly became apparent that we had mutual interests in hiking which resulted in us meeting the following weekend to go hiking together. It was a very nice calm day so we spent the time pretty much just getting to know each other. She was going through a break up which she said involved too much baggage. We went out for a quick meal afterwards with another friend of mine (by no means a date) and we agreed to go back out to the hills again sometime. We had been in touch a lot in that time and she had come out to meet me and my friends in the bars and join us when we go out for breakfast, and I eventually asked her out last week where she said she'd just come out of something and wasn't looking for anything romantic. She didn't want anything to change between us so I said we'd carry on as we were. 2 nights ago we kind of agreed to meet up in a bar last night. Later that night I got a late night call from a blocked number. I let it ring out the first time as I never answer them, but it rang a second time and curiosity got the better of me and I answered it. All I heard was "Stay away from my girlfriend you" in a local accent. He wasn't man enough to tell me who he was or even who his girlfriend was. Thinking nothing of it and that whoever it was had the wrong number, I got in touch with her to see if she was still coming out and she said no as she was going to her boyfriends..... Click... That got me pretty angry. 1 - Why lie that she wasn't looking for anything, then a week later have a boyfriend?! 2 - What threat was I to her for her to tell her boyfriend I was harrassing her (she doesn't seem like the kind of girl to do that), or did he see me as a threat?! I don't know what to do now. Do I let a threatening phone call from a still unknown person stop us from going hiking together? Normally I'd forget all about it but she seemed really keen on it. Or do I approach her on it which could make me look like an insecure freak if she doesn't believe what happened, and deny that it could ever have been him. Or do I carry on as before pretending like nothing happened? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 From the sounds of it, the ex-boyfriend's back on the scene. Doubt she told him you were harassing her. He's probably feeling insecure if they've just gotten back together again. As far as hiking together, why would you want the drama? Don't approach her to hike again. Let her approach you. Then mention the call from the perspective that while you're not afraid of her b/f, all of you are a bit old for this type of drama especially since you're just platonic friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Walk away, simple. Let go of the anger, frustration, incomprehension. All of it will be a waste of time, emotion and energy. She is dishonest, vacillating, immature and treacherous. He got your phone number. Don't worry too much HOW, just that he did and that had to be through her co-operation to some degree or another. If she is in trouble with him, let her sort it out, either her or the police, definitely not you. There will be others. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dexter7 Posted November 18, 2012 Author Share Posted November 18, 2012 I think he is too threebyfate, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have mentioned me as a threat as to the best of my knowledge she has enjoyed spending time around me/us. I'm guessing he must have checked her phone for recent texts and seen mine, noted my number and gave me a call. I've also taken my number off FB incase her profile was logged on if/when he went snooping there. I'm not sure how serious they were to begin with so I don't know how much she missed the relationship. I still feel she was dishonest about it though. All I've done since (just now) is ask her to let me know when she's free to go again. That could well be the last exchange I have with her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dexter7 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Share Posted November 19, 2012 Just another update for anyone interested :- I had a txt from her boyfriend off her phone saying she had left it at her boyfriends and that was him, and that he'd pass the message on. Not sure why he went and did that as surely she is capable of checking for herself! And clearly he's going through her phone to see what's been going on whilst they split. And no doubt deleted my text asking her to give me a call. A few hours later I got a voicemail (sounded like the same bloke as the first call) telling me to swtich my ****ing phone on. Today I sent her a message telling her to not contact me again as I am too old for all this I'm getting from him. Knowing that her phone is now compromised I've sent it to her on fb as well so hopefully she'll get at least one message. Nothing's simple is it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Quest4_TheLost Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) Well no matter how old you get the drama monster will still come out to play!! Hope they're not bothering you anymore!! I definetly think you did the right thing and did well by leaving it (simple).. Oh and yes I am interested in your drama Edited November 23, 2012 by Quest4_TheLost Link to post Share on other sites
Strebe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Just get you 1 girlfriend I would consider that cheating what she did Michelle Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dexter7 Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 Wasn't really what I'd expected but it turns out she had no idea what was going on and she was really shocked by it. They're not actually together but going through an emotional break up. She agrees that although I had no solid proof that it can't be anyone else I know, and if she was involved in it then she has already apologized profusely. I told her I was confused by the whole thing and wouldn't pry in to details, she offered to ask him directly which might cause more problems so I said I didn't want to add to any more heartache for her through the breakup, and to just leave it until it happens again. So now I don't know what to do. Keep in touch or walk away? Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 So now I don't know what to do. Keep in touch or walk away? Depends how much drama you want in your life. If this all happened without her knowing (allegedly), then it may continue. I would walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Quest4_TheLost Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I think it all depends on you really.. How much do you like her? How much is all this bothering you? I don't see it as a big deal honestly. I do think she should talk to him though and tell him to back off and stop acting like a dope. Other then that I think it would take more then a few annoying phone calls for me to be concerned. You 2 are just friends anyway at this point. But if you do really like her I wouldn't let her ex ruin a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Quest4_TheLost Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 She never insulted him.. Perhaps pay attention to the thread your reading or keep your mouth shut. You just sound like an idiot.. You sound like the p*ssy to me.. Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 "Walk away, simple. Let go of the anger, frustration, incomprehension. All of it will be a waste of time, emotion and energy. She is dishonest, vacillating, immature and treacherous. He got your phone number. Don't worry too much HOW, just that he did and that had to be through her co-operation to some degree or another. If she is in trouble with him, let her sort it out, either her or the police, definitely not you." There will be others. This is the best advice. I had a similar situation...just get out of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 You just refered to females as pussy and I'm the moron? Its men like you that keep women single I myself would never take advice from an obvious pig as yourself. From that statement alone I wouldn't call what you have as empowering selfrespect but more of an over inflatted ego Link to post Share on other sites
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Also if you will look back to my original post I said and I quote. How much do you like her and do you want to ruin a "friendship". Obviously I was looking at this as nothing more then a "friendship" because in the OP he stated she as going through a breakup and mentioned only being friendly. Not to mention that this is called transitioning as in from friends to possibly more. He just met the girl!! I didn't see this as a reason to toss a friendship out the window. But I would not be the one to pursue someone going through a breakup. You can attack me for my opinion, my opinion remains the same. I didn't see this to be a dating situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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