Only bigger women have been into me.

[somedude81]

I don't know why, but over the course of my life, only obese women have been interested in me.

 

I'm white/Cuban (look primarily white), 5'6, 155lbs with an average build.

 

The girls have been a variety of races and they've all been shorter than me and heavier.

 

Back in my early 20's I briefly dated a bigger girl. I was very desperate and thought it would be better than nothing. I tried to force it to work. Despite me not saying anything, she knew I wasn't attracted to her, and it obviously upset her. The relationship, if I can even all it that, only lasted a few weeks.

 

Somebody said that by not dating obese women, I'm choosing to be single. It's the same thing as going to an event for the evening and the only thing available for dinner is your least favorite food (which you never chose to dislike.) Sure you have the choice of having the dish or going hungry, but it's certainly not a fair one. It's a dilemma.

 

So yes, I'd rather be single than be with a woman I have zero attraction to. I'm not desperate enough to make myself and another person suffer through a horrible relationship.

Edited November 17, 2012 by somedude81

[ThaWholigan]

I think it would be a good thing for you to figure out what it is you are doing when you are around these obese women that make them attracted to you.

 

Also, have you thought about trying to attract women outside of college? May sound like a tall order, but as much as there are a lot of girls at college, there are more of them outside of your campus. Figure that out.

[Els]

Uh, that somebody was me, and I reiterated multiple times that I thought it was a good choice to not date someone you're not attracted to. You yourself admitted here that it is a choice. I did not say that it was a fair one. Life isn't fair.

 

I agree completely with your last paragraph, so I really don't see what the purpose of this thread was? You absolutely made the right choice.

[somedude81]

I think it would be a good thing for you to figure out what it is you are doing when you are around these obese women that make them attracted to you.

Absolutely nothing different at all.

 

One guess I have is that the bigger girls don't get as much male attention as the average girls so each guy is more important.

 

I've also seen that bigger girls are more aggressive than average girls. Maybe they don't get hit on that much so they need to be the pursuers?

 

Also, have you thought about trying to attract women outside of college? May sound like a tall order, but as much as there are a lot of girls at college, there are more of them outside of your campus. Figure that out.

Location doesn't matter and it's not relevant to this thread.

 

Uh, that somebody was me, and I reiterated multiple times that I thought it was a good choice to not date someone you're not attracted to. You yourself admitted here that it is a choice. I did not say that it was a fair one. Life isn't fair.

 

I agree completely with your last paragraph, so I really don't see what the purpose of this thread was? You absolutely made the right choice.

I had your post in mind as well as the those of the other women that posted in that thread and basically combined them into one thought.

 

Thank you for saying that it was a good choice.

 

Something else I want to point out is that I like to moan, "Nobody like me." Being told in return, "Obese girls like you." Is just, sorry to say, not very reassuring. It doesn't do me any good or give me any feeling of pride or confidence that the only women that have liked me are ones that I couldn't even force myself to be attracted to.

[somedude81]

I've said it before and this is just my opinion, but I think you should try to get a European girlfriend.

 

Geographic location can really make a difference.

 

What happened with the Czech girl that you liked? You said she was everything you ever wanted in a woman.

I saw her yesterday at the dance.

 

She was with her husband. Good looking guy, blonde hair must have been about 6 feet. Didn't have a clue how to dance.

[Els]

Hrm, I can't understand that. You know that beneath our skin (and adipose tissue...) we are all still women? If an obese woman likes you, why is it an affront, instead of a confidence booster? In your place, I would be happy that someone likes me (even though I would decline because I am not interested in them), then examine my interactions with her and try to learn from them for future attempts with others.

[veggirl]

How much bigger are you talking? You say "bigger" which is vague and then obese which is not but which is it? How much bigger are you willing to go? Like "a few extra pounds" would that be okay? (and I mean legit a few extra pounds, not "internet a few extra pounds" )

[mesmerized]

Hrm, I can't understand that. You know that beneath our skin (and adipose tissue...) we are all still women? If an obese woman likes you, why is it an affront, instead of a confidence booster? In your place, I would be happy that someone likes me (even though I would decline because I am not interested in them), then examine my interactions with her and try to learn from them for future attempts with others.

 

How do you not understand that? I don't think it's flattering when the only people interested in you are the ones you are not at all attracted to.

 

somedude, most women and men are like you here, kind of. We usually don't find most of the people who pursue us attractive.

[somedude81]

Hrm, I can't understand that. You know that beneath our skin (and adipose tissue...) we are all still women? If an obese woman likes you, why is it an affront, instead of a confidence booster? In your place, I would be happy that someone likes me (even though I would decline because I am not interested in them), then examine my interactions with her and try to learn from them for future attempts with others.

I mentioned that in my previous post.

 

Despite you all being women, I've noticed that bigger women act differently.

 

I'm not upset that big women like me, I'm upset that nobody else does. I don't treat the bigger women any better or worse than the other girls.

Consider it a bullet dodged.

 

If I remember correctly you both wanted to go out together. If it was that big of a surprise that she was married, then she hasn't been upfront with you about her relationship status.

You're a couple of months behind on that matter Lion.

[somedude81]

HOAL, I'm not here to talk about school in this thread. Please stay on topic.

How much bigger are you talking? You say "bigger" which is vague and then obese which is not but which is it? How much bigger are you willing to go? Like "a few extra pounds" would that be okay? (and I mean legit a few extra pounds, not "internet a few extra pounds" )

My number one limit is when a girl weighs more than I do. If a girl is 5'4 and 160lbs, that's too much for me.

 

I have no problem at all with a few extra pounds. But there is a difference between a few extra pounds and being obese.

 

Another thing is that I do like to do couples dancing, and when the girl is bigger than a certain threshold, it makes several of the moves more difficult if not more awkward to do.

How do you not understand that? I don't think it's flattering when the only people interested in you are the ones you are not at all attracted to.

 

somedude, most women and men are like you here, kind of. We usually don't find most of the people who pursue us attractive.

I don't care that I'm not attracted to most people who pursue me. I do care that nobody I've ever been attracted to has returned that feeling.

 

And no, I don't have have very high standards. Frankly, I pretty much have only one requirement when it comes to a girls appearance.

[Ross MwcFan]

Hrm, I can't understand that. You know that beneath our skin (and adipose tissue...) we are all still women? If an obese woman likes you, why is it an affront, instead of a confidence booster? In your place, I would be happy that someone likes me (even though I would decline because I am not interested in them), then examine my interactions with her and try to learn from them for future attempts with others.

 

I'd be happy and it'd be a confidence booster too if a woman who I wasn't attracted to was attracted to me. Not that I'm saying Somedude should be.

 

Heck, I'm not gay, but I'd be really happy and it'd be a confidence booster if a gay guy was attracted to me.

[somedude81]

I'd be happy and it'd be a confidence booster too if a woman who I wasn't attracted to was attracted to me. Not that I'm saying Somedude should be.

 

Heck, I'm not gay, but I'd be really happy and it'd be a confidence booster if a gay guy was attracted to me.

I've had gay men hit on me as well. No, that didn't give me any sort of boost as well.

 

Getting hit on by a bigger woman is slightly better than getting hit on by a gay man.

[xxoo]

I think it would be a good thing for you to figure out what it is you are doing when you are around these obese women that make them attracted to you.

 

Absolutely nothing different at all.

 

Not possible that you are more at ease and naturally charming around the bigger girls, when the pressure is less?

[Lonely Ronin]

Not possible that you are more at ease and naturally charming around the bigger girls, when the pressure is less?

 

Sorry dude, but she has you here, and it back up what you said to me in another thread about putting women you want to ask out on a stage.

 

You are most likely more at ease around these women, because your not attracted to them, and probably more unsettled/jumpy around women that you are.

[somedude81]

Not possible that you are more at ease and naturally charming around the bigger girls, when the pressure is less?

I need to make a minor correction about what I said earlier. While I do treat them the same way as the other girls and try to have as much fun dancing with them. One thing I do differently is that I don't talk to them nearly as much. I don't ask them how their weekends were, what they like to do, ask them more about their jobs etc. Hell I don't even know what their names are.

 

I'd say I'm less sociable with them.

Sorry dude, but she has you here, and it back up what you said to me in another thread about putting women you want to ask out on a stage.

 

You are most likely more at ease around these women, because your not attracted to them, and probably more unsettled/jumpy around women that you are.

I don't start to get unsettled with a woman until I start to think about asking her out. So far I haven't gotten to the point where I'm really thinking about asking somebody out this semester. The only other thing that makes me uneasy with a girl is when she's cold and aloof. If a girl is warm and smiley, I don't care how hot she is, I'll be completely comfortable with her.

[xxoo]

you are most likely more at ease around these women, because your not attracted to them, and probably more unsettled/jumpy around women that you are.

 

Consider how easy it would be for you to find out if one of the bigger girls had a boyfriend, or was dating another guy in the class. You'd probably have no problem finding that out in the course of conversation.

 

But when it is a girl you are attracted to, you don't know how to manage that.

[xxoo]

I need to make a minor correction about what I said earlier. While I do treat them the same way as the other girls and try to have as much fun dancing with them. One thing I do differently is that I don't talk to them nearly as much. I don't ask them how their weekends were, what they like to do, ask them more about their jobs etc. Hell I don't even know what their names are.

 

You mean the bigger girls?

 

Why the heck not?

[somedude81]

Consider how easy it would be for you to find out if one of the bigger girls had a boyfriend, or was dating another guy in the class. You'd probably have no problem finding that out in the course of conversation.

 

But when it is a girl you are attracted to, you don't know how to manage that.

Heh, I really don't know if it would be easier to ask one of the bigger girls if she had a boyfriend. Still seems kind of awkward thinking about it.

 

I guess I could practice but I don't want them to think I'm interested.

 

BTW, I did ask a couple of girls at the dance if the guy they were with was their boyfriend. They just responded that he was a friend. Though the way one was hanging on to the guy later on told me differently.

 

You mean the bigger girls?

 

Why the heck not?

Simple. Lack of interest.

 

When I walk into my dance class and see two girls I know, one thin, one bigger. I'm going to walk over to the thin girl and start talking to her.

 

Even when I'm dancing with a bigger girl, I don't have any desire to find out more about them.

 

So is the fact that I ask other girls what they did for the weekend and showing interest in their lives, actually turning them off?

[xxoo]

Simple. Lack of interest.

 

When I walk into my dance class and see two girls I know, one thin, one bigger. I'm going to walk over to the thin girl and start talking to her.

 

Even when I'm dancing with a bigger girl, I don't have any desire to find out more about them.

 

So is the fact that I ask other girls what they did for the weekend and showing interest in their lives, actually turning them off?

 

You have no interest in getting to know the fat girls?

 

Maybe your obvious shallow nature is turning them off

[somedude81]

You have no interest in getting to know the fat girls?

 

Maybe your obvious shallow nature is turning them off

Ha ha ha ha!

 

I was wondering when the first absolutely ridiculous comment would come.

 

Thanks xxoo!

 

Yes, the fat girls know that I'm shallow because I'm not interested in getting to know them better.

 

Wait wait wait! Something's not right.

 

Too bad that the fat girls are the only ones who have shown interest in me.

 

So me not wanting to get to know the fat girls, turns the average girls off?

[Lonely Ronin]

So is the fact that I ask other girls what they did for the weekend and showing interest in their lives, actually turning them off?

 

Depending on how soon you ask, what you ask, and how you respond to her answers, yes it can turn her off. In short you could be coming off as the creepy guy you just wants to get into her pants.

[xxoo]

Ha ha ha ha!

 

I was wondering when the first absolutely ridiculous comment would come.

 

Thanks xxoo!

 

Yes, the fat girls know that I'm shallow because I'm not interested in getting to know them better.

 

Wait wait wait! Something's not right.

 

Too bad that the fat girls are the only ones who have shown interest in me.

 

So me not wanting to get to know the fat girls, turns the average girls off?

 

Yes, when you only pay attention to the attractive women, we can see that you don't genuinely like and enjoy women. You only spend time with women because you are sexually attracted to them.

 

Attractive women are looking for someone who appreciates them for more than their looks. They get plenty of that.

[dasein]

Bigger women realize that the 5% upper echelon of men that 60% of women are fighting over are out of their reach, so they seek the other 95% of men. This is a given reality to accept and explains why you get attention from obese women. Would try to figure out some interests for yourself that involve strenous outdoor physical activity in coed groups or clubs. In my area, there are coed rowing clubs, hiking groups, soccer clubs, running clubs, etc. Those will put you around more women who are in halfway decent shape. The rest is up to you.

[Lonely Ronin]

 

So me not wanting to get to know the fat girls, turns the average girls off?

 

see what I just posted above. My bet, since you are not interested in them, you treat them like you would any other person on the street. In other words, you are giving them an appropriate amount of attention based on how well you know them.

 

When it comes to women you are finding attractive, I bet you are giving them more attention then normal, potentially coming off as overly aggressive/interested.

[somedude81]

Depending on how soon you ask, what you ask, and how you respond to her answers, yes it can turn her off. In short you could be coming off as the creepy guy you just wants to get into her pants.

 

see what I just posted above. My bet, since you are not interested in them, you treat them like you would any other person on the street. In other words, you are giving them an appropriate amount of attention based on how well you know them.

 

When it comes to women you are finding attractive, I bet you are giving them more attention then normal, potentially coming off as overly aggressive/interested.

The thing is, there are lots of girls in the class. The vast majority are thin and pretty. I don't try to know more about all them, just my favorite ones.

 

In other words there are some pretty girls that I'm not really into, that I treat exactly the same as the bigger girls. They aren't showing any signs of being into me.

Bigger women realize that the 5% upper echelon of men that 60% of women are fighting over are out of their reach, so they seek the other 95% of men. This is a given reality to accept and explains why you get attention from obese women. Would try to figure out some interests for yourself that involve strenous outdoor physical activity in coed groups or clubs. In my area, there are coed rowing clubs, hiking groups, soccer clubs, running clubs, etc. Those will put you around more women who are in halfway decent shape. The rest is up to you.

I think that this might approach what is really going on.

 

I'm not fooling myself into believeing that I'm a top tier man. So maybe the thin girls think they're too good for me, and the bigger girls think I'm OK.