Kat_luv Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 We're both 18,freshmen in college. We met at a party about a month ago and have been on about 2 official dates afterwards. He's very non touchy im more touchy with him which confused me but his friend reassured me that hes into me. He texts me first almost everyday and we end up talking on the phone really late,he says he only does it to talk to me. We live in two different cities that arent so far apart but he knows my situation, i take a bunch of different public transportation just to see him, the last time he waited on the tracks for me in the cold for my train. We planned our 3rd date, he said this time he'll drive up to me and i could show him around, I even told him i'll cook dinner which got him excited haha. then he proceeds to tell me that he would want to spend the whole weekend together and stay overnight to go easy on gas money. Would that make sense or would you think it just an excuse,the drive is usually just 40 mins tops. From a guys perspective would you expect anything if spending the night? Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 40 minutes is really not much of a drive. He is expecting sex, no doubt. Are you ready for that? You take trains 40 minutes and go back home...he can't do the same with driving? If you don't want him to sleep over I would not even bring him inside your place cause he will whine and convince you to let him stay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kat_luv Posted November 17, 2012 Author Share Posted November 17, 2012 40 minutes is really not much of a drive. He is expecting sex, no doubt. Are you ready for that? You take trains 40 minutes and go back home...he can't do the same with driving? If you don't want him to sleep over I would not even bring him inside your place cause he will whine and convince you to let him stay. it actually takes me legit 3 hours because of the buses i have to take to the station and i end up spending the night at a friends house after i see him. ahh im not sure anymore, cant guys be satisfied with just cuddling? Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 40 miles is not that long, but late at night, it's reasonable for him to want to spend the night. If you don't want sex yet, put him on a couch. If the only place to sleep is your bed, make arrangements to sleep with a friend or find another bed and give yours to him. If you aren't comfortable with any sort of overnight arrangement yet, tell him that directly and then let him decide if he wants to reschedule or cancel the date. Don't you and he get into the same bed and then have the standard 40 minute back and forth of gradual disrobing and boundary testing. Plan ahead, and you can surely manage this while still having a nice date with no pressure or inconvenience either way. Good luck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 it actually takes me legit 3 hours because of the buses i have to take to the station and i end up spending the night at a friends house after i see him. ahh im not sure anymore, cant guys be satisfied with just cuddling? Doesn't sound like an equal relationship. Most girls fail to realize they'll easily give in to sex because guys will test your buttons to see how far you're willing to let things slide. For example, the last relationship I was in, I dated a guy who had me do all the traveling because he was too busy to see me. The drive is only 30-40 minutes but I ended up taking an hr train ride to see him. He never took me out but he ended up getting sex out of it. I dumped him. Are you guys boyfriends and girlfriends? You have to realize that there's a reason guys should do most of the chasing or at least put in more effort in dating a girl. One, they work hard to keep something they want. You're just making it too easy for him to get sex and companionship minus a the effort of working hard for a relationship. If he truly is going to stay over at your place, you better make him sleep on the sofa and absolutely no cuddling or foreplay. A good guy who actually wants you to be his girlfriend won't force the issue. In fact he'll make sure to give you a title first. At the very least, see what his reaction will be if you reject having sex with him. If he disappears right afterwards, you know you dodged a bullet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 cant guys be satisfied with just cuddling? lol Maybe when they're older and a handful of guys can pull that off, especially if they're getting sex somewhere else but otherwise no, not at 18 years old. However if he's very inexperienced and not aggressive he may just mess his pants and leave it at that. Just make sure you don't cross any lines or boundaries then back away, don't get caught up in the moment and make it clear and easy to understand how far you are willing to go. He's definitely excited about the prospect of sex, but keep the clothes on, the hands out of each others pants and don't let it get heated. Chances are something is going to happen or escalate but that's up to you to decide how far it will go likely. But hell, maybe he'll surprise you and you'll both be painting your toe nails talking about boys by the end of the night! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kat_luv Posted November 17, 2012 Author Share Posted November 17, 2012 lol Maybe when they're older and a handful of guys can pull that off, especially if they're getting sex somewhere else but otherwise no, not at 18 years old. However if he's very inexperienced and not aggressive he may just mess his pants and leave it at that. Just make sure you don't cross any lines or boundaries then back away, don't get caught up in the moment and make it clear and easy to understand how far you are willing to go. He's definitely excited about the prospect of sex, but keep the clothes on, the hands out of each others pants and don't let it get heated. Chances are something is going to happen or escalate but that's up to you to decide how far it will go likely. But hell, maybe he'll surprise you and you'll both be painting your toe nails talking about boys by the end of the night! I think we both are inexperienced or i am at least. Im usually the slow mover but with him i get super furstrated in the inside when he doesnt try anything so i am looking forward to him staying over,just kind of scared if its just an infatuation and we wont last or something. He's probably the first guy that ive really went out with,never really dated in hs cause i was always shy.haha and i hope nott,saving the nail polish and boy talks with my girls:) Link to post Share on other sites
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