Might have lost the love of my life!

[blanetship]

Okay so hello forum

 

So let me get this started; so about three or so months ago me and this guy who I wrote about a long time ago on here (anyways) well finally the best thing happened to me we hooked up....guess i should go into a little detail about that so here goes:

 

So sometime ago last year me and this guy who was at the time my very best guy friend well something things happened he kinda...well not kinda he did kick me out of his life and then late this year (maybe around like august or something ) he messaged me saying how he was sorry and all this other crap i wont get into. but finally we get to hang out and hanging out we get some drinks into our system. And you wouldnt believe it...he kisses me the it escalates from there. End up having sex (it was great) ((tmi. I know)) but after if felt really bad, got over that. then started to have sex on the regular. Well one day, around the time the batman movie came out. We had sex without a condom. Two months later im pregnant. Story of my life. So hesitating to tell him i told him. He was a little scared as was i but eventually he loved the idea of having someone who would love him no matter what flaws and all. (as if i didnt) but anyways he started to love the idea of having a baby then having a baby with me we talked about moving in together and the whole nine yards. But the killer part is that i didnt tell my mom and i was scared because i knew my mother was gonna say get an abortion and thats what stressed me out the max like i couldnt sleep without thinking about telling my mother and what she would say. [fast forward] After all the stressing and everything I was sitting on the couch in agonizing pain in my lower abdomen so me and my brother rushed to the healthplex. After so much stress on my baby I lost it. I cried myself to sleep for weeks and he was there to keep me sane for like two or three days. Then he started to push me away kinda. Which made me happy and sad at the same time. how can a guy who was my bestfriend become my baby's father then all of a sudden my enemy.

 

Months past i havent talked to him changed my number and tried to move on with my life go back with my ex and that didnt work out. but this past weekend i really did miss him i missed the thought of him the presence of him just everything about him. I have been drinking like a fish since then hes all that i think about i truly beleive that this guy is my soulmate and i dont know what to do. Im so lost i dont want to seem desperate for him. Last time when he cut me out he contacted me now that its the other way around should i contact him. I love this guy to the soul of me and ive never felt like this about anyone in my whole life coming from a girl who was married once and (citizenship agreement) and engaged after that.

 

What should I do i really need you guys help!

 

Sincerly

True love