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Men: Freinds turned lovers....or trying to...he can't get it up? What is wrong?

LatinKiss

By LatinKiss,
in Friends and Lovers

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LatinKiss

LatinKiss

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Alright long story short. J and I have been friends for the past 8 months now. He's been into me since day one....after a few dates I decided on only a friendship. He stood by me...showing a friendship so sincere. He's never disrespected me, always gone out his way to see me, spend time with me.

 

He has clearly expressed to me that he likes me in more ways than just a friend. He has also expressed his extreme attraction to me physically. I think he see's me as some dream girl. I am not too attracted to him which is why I opted for a friendship rather than taking things further.

 

Now, 7 months later I've come to realize that I've gotten quite attached to him. I miss him when he's not around and think of him constantly, I realize I like him. So I kiss him and cross that line. He is more than happy and explained his feelings about the situation as "fairy tale like"....dream come true type deal.....

 

Now! weeks later we've gotten past the kissing and have taken things further....finally we get to the bedroom and he seems to be loving every minute of it....he describes me as beautifull, perfect and everything he always wanted...physically and mentally....but one problem.....

 

He can't get it up, his soldier is not saluting?!?! Half way through the 1st time we "almost" make love he tells me he is having trouble....says he's nervous! He explains this has never happened and maybe it's b/c his respect for me....

 

Now this has already happened twice....

 

Guys? what is going on here.....and no! he is not gay....LOL but for real...what is his problem, why can't he just function....I've shown him I wanted it? Men please help me understand this.....and has this ever happened to you and why? How can I help him?

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disconcertainly

disconcertainly

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I am not a man but I need some more info to try and help...

Age.

Is he on any meds?

Does he do any type of drugs?

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LatinKiss

LatinKiss

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He is only 27 and no he's not into any drus nor is he on medication. He's only explanation so far is that he values me so much and is so amazed that I am actually interested in him in this way that it makes him nervous....

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disconcertainly

disconcertainly

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Well he may just have problem. I mean if he is not into anything bad and he is not into the habbit of pleasing himself to much..... I would sit down and have a talk with him...Maybe ask him to see a Doc.

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moimeme

moimeme

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Don't go all nuts about this yet. Forget having sex. Tell him to not worry about it and do everything else the next several times. In fact, you can even promise each other you're not going to have sex and will just try to please each other without. Pressure is an erection-killer, and once he's 'failed' once, that adds even more pressure. It's a deadly cycle to get into. So what you have to do is remove the pressure completely and just make out madly without planning to have sex.

 

Once he's relaxed after doing this several times, something might pop up and surprise you both.

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aFighter

aFighter

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You could always try talking dirty...lol.

 

No seriously, it does sound like an anxiety issue. You'll just have to talk through it and explane to him that you understand etc. and it's not a big deal (<--- Requires BS-Pro ver 1.06) hehe.

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FolderWife

FolderWife

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He's nervous. He really likes you, and you are really close, and he feels like he might not perform up to par, and that scares the bejesus out of him, and when a man is frightened, he can't have an erection!

 

Or maybe he is another porn addict who's whacked off so much he can't get hard.

 

Several explainations

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LatinKiss

LatinKiss

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Well thank you all for your advice and I am happy to inform that the problem has been solved! LOL

 

The other night, he brought me to his mothers to meet the family (how sweet). Everything went smoothly and afterwards we went for an evening drink.......go figure a little courage juice was all he needed :rolleyes:

 

We get back to my place and he's all over it, push me against the wall...in the kitchen....and just starting handling his :eek:

 

He showed me what he was made of for sure ;) Against the kitchen wall and then on down to my bedroom..... It was the best experience ever!

 

Friends before lovers.......the best thing ever! It was so special.... :love::love::love::love:

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Pocky

Pocky

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I have experienced this and it was basically the same thing. We were friends first and as the relationship progressed he was so nervous because he was madly in love with me and was so extremely excited and nervous that he had a hard time performing. He would take a long time to get an erection and would lose it rather quickly. I had to be extremely patient and understanding for him to start coming around. The relationship ended before he was ever able to last for a long time but there was an improvement. Not being a guy, I have no idea what can really affect their performance but he claimed it was for the same reasons as your current SO.

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Papillon

Papillon

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It's happened to me...no sweat. Mr Happy was tired, is all. I know he's a reliable li'l fella.

 

Could be you BF needs to get in shape...possibly. Nothing boosts libido like being in shape.

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LatinKiss

LatinKiss

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There was no problem other than his nerves and the pressure of wanting to do everything so pefectly.

 

He is in very good shape, we are both young (25 & 27). We got to the gym 3x's a week.

 

He's already proven his "big fella" works and his got plenty stamina ! :love::love:

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Papillon

Papillon

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Then stop worrying about it!

 

If you like, prance around naked at home while he's still clothed. That way he'll identify with your "embarrasment", and not feel so nervous himself. :D

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LatinKiss

LatinKiss

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Well Papillon seems you didn't read the full thread did you.....and by the way, I have no shame in walking around naked in front of my boyfriend :cool: . Maybe you'd be embarrassed to walk around in front of your man while he's still clothed but I wouldn't :confused: . Besides, I highly doubt that "identifying w/ any embarrassment" is what he'd be thinking about if I where prancing around naked! :p

 

Again his only issue was nerves and the stemmed from his feelings for me. :love::love:

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gabrielSunden

gabrielSunden

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Interesting I came across this forum and this particular topic.

 

New joiner, hello all! Hope all is clicking good!

A quick one ;)

 

Met a girl off the Net, we clicked, went out did the basic stuff; movies, dinner, dancing, spending time making out in the car, etc etc Took this sexy-ass slim petite 20 year old to a hotel & guess what? Yes, mr. 7 & change was not up to the game, how freaking embarrasing...ended up using my togue more than expected but enjoy it just as goo d anyway ( never have had such an immaculated honeyspot), we forgo that "incidence" however it remains in the back of my head ;) We never tried intercourse & settle for the oral side of it. We are happy as friends with benefits that way.

 

A good night's sleep, mariscos, confidence, not worrying about the small stuff & not taking everything seriously does help! ;)

 

Cheers !

 

Gabriel

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