Attorneys and cheating-reviving 2006 thread

[JohnnyisNice]

While what I'm about to say is not a scientific example, but I was a paralegal for over 7 years at a law firm which had 9 male attorneys and one female attorney. 7 of the 9 male attorneys were all currently cheating on their wives - off and on over my 7 years tenure at this one law firm. The only female attorney did not, which has nothing to do with this discussion, but I thought I'd throw that out there.

 

One attorney was bold enough to "hit on" and dare to send "explicitly sexual emails" to female employees who were in a lower position than him. He's lucky my younger sister didn't work there - she would have sued him and won - that's a whole nother story.

This attorneys wife was the perfect wife - she sent Christmas cookies to the office, made arts and crafts things for the ladies in the office and always seemed so happy when she was with her husband at functions. She was clueless indeed and it's no fault of her own - she obviously loved and trusted this man. They did everything on the weekends together. His female paralegal refused to believe he was a cheater and always referred to him as "a family man." I guess, she was just wanted to believe different of him.

We stumbled upon him having sex in his car with another paralegal from our office after a happy hour. Eventually, he went after 5 seperate office staff members - and ended up sleeping with 3 of them. He got caught one day when he left his cell phone at home and his current fling sent an inappropriate text to his cell, which buzzed away on the countertop at home and his blissfully happy wife saw it. They are still together, but she had no idea what he was doing at all. She called the office and that paralegal was not allowed to work for him or go to other offices he worked at our home office. His wife is very pretty and in shape too.

 

 

Another male attorney was sleeping with a supervisor and would come in the office in the morning and sit right down in the supervisor's office and chat it up for a half hour each morning. They took two hour lunch breaks everyday together - no exaggeration at all. His poor wife had no clue either and still doesn't know. His wife is very pretty and in shape too.

 

Another male attorney - did the same thing as the earlier one - hit on the pretty staff members until one agreed to "get down" with him. His wife eventually found out when he became a politician and he took home an intern to her apartment and her roommates blew him in. His political career took a crap, but he still cheats as I saw him and played up a conversation and he admitted he "still has fun." His wife is very pretty and in shape too.

 

The other attorney has been married 35 years, is the senior law partner of the firm and for as long as all the other attorneys know he's been cheating on his wife with women outside the office and he frequents strippers and massage parlors. His wife does not know and for 62 y/o she is pretty and in shape as well.

 

Another attorney is the same as the above and his wife knows. He even has attended sexual addiction retreat and week-long counseling sessions, but can't kick his sexual addiction. His wife encourages him to attend these camps to correct his sexual appetite, but after 10 years of doing - no changes have been made.

 

Outside of the office I worked at - both of my parents male divorce attorneys cheated on their wives as well...not with my mother - LOL. The other male legal attorney partner of my father's attorney is a known cheater and is the rare one who divorced and married his secretary. He cheated on her - the secretary as well. They are now divorced too.

 

I actually know probably 30 attorney and very few I'd say haven't cheated on their spouses or haven't been rumored to be cheating on spouses. I have first-hand credible solid knowledge on a 1/3 of them and they cheat for sure. The other 1/3 it's rumored that they cheat - maybe it's higher - I've really only focused on the one's I've worked directly with or the one's I've come and contact with and seen em in action.

 

Someone mentioned criminal attorneys deal in high risk clientele with risky behaviors and it makes them more prone to cheating. Well, only two of the above attorneys that I listed here work on criminal cases.

 

No attorneys that I know of have slept with clientele although that is entirely possible. It's best to keep that kind of affair quiet as it could be a means to have an atty disbarred.

 

I think there is a bit of arrogance and the "I'm smarter than everyone else element" to their cheating habits. They believe they can get away with it and probably convince someone that they're not cheating, especially a loving wife. I also think status and money can lead to this type of occupation cheating. There is also an element of power and conquest that I think drives attorneys to cheat. If they want it - they go get it.

I think people have this idea that attorneys might get attached to clientele and sleep with them, but I believe that to be a low stat in their cheating habits. They also may experience a bit of entitlement - I'm successful, worked my way up to get this law degree - I see something sexy and I'm entitled to have it, play with it and enjoy it.

 

As a paralegal, I have to think of other scenarios and possibilities and truths that I know that can lead to possible avenues of cheating...remember, they have office staff, paralegals, court workers, other attorneys, people at conventions and conferences as they are required to do/attend Continuing Learning Education credit seminars in many states to keep up their attorney licenses. They come in contact with many different people throughout their daily lives.

 

Also - they may have a fully booked schedule for the day at their office, but not everyone shows up at appointments, so there can be "free time" and "missing time" hidden right there during the day throughout their work schedule. They can also cancel appointments and reschedule to enjoy the company of a secretary, paralegal or a mistress.

 

I'm not saying all attorneys cheat, but a vast majority that I've come in contact with - oooogle pretty women and say inappropriate comments to me about the women they see and plain old inner office guy knowledge of what's going on with them.

 

Remember - if your husband is an attorney and he tells you he's busy with appointments all day - that does mean it is true. They also have secretaries lie for them - as they are the front line of people who are the "buffer" between you, them and who they do not want to speak with on the phone throughout the day.

 

Discuss...

[carhill]

"What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean?

A good start..."

 

 

Danny Devito - 'War of the Roses'

[JohnnyisNice]

LOL - a good one for sure !!! I'm laughing for sure...and I'm a paralegal studying to take the LSAT and possibly going to law school next year.

[carhill]

Considering that a litigator's main skill is manipulating people, it's no surprise that subset of lawyers, if so inclined, would be fantastic cheaters. I interface more with business lawyers rather than litigators so have a different impression of them, especially the few whom I know away from their work. In many ways, they're little different than my father was as a CPA. That's been my impression anyway.

 

One thing I did learn over a lifetime of watching MW's is that very little can deter one from cheating if so inclined, not children, not family, not a job. No law degree required. Some of the most skilled are/were just 'regular' folks. Not book smart but supremely street smart.

[JohnnyisNice]

Carhill - I agree with your logic indeed. Cheaters can come from all walks of life, but there are professions that tend to have a higher amount of cheaters. As for corporate attorneys - you work in a strictly professional environment - the cheating with corporate attorneys was probably more revolving around dinner meetings after hours than things happening in and around an office setting. Many law offices, while you may imagine are professional environments - behind closed doors - not so much.

 

The aforementioned attorneys I discussed are not litigators either...they were bankruptcy and real estate attorneys...they basically met with clients and signed off on paperwork handed to them by paralegals.

Edited November 20, 2012 by JohnnyisNice

[GorillaTheater]

 

The joys of being a lawyer.

 

My experience has been mixed. At the first firm I worked for, the owner of the firm was a friggin' satyr: nothing that held still long enough was particularly safe. He lost his business largely due to greed, a taste for strippers, and screwing clients.

 

Since that first, abysmally bad experience, I've been in government work: DAs office and higher ed. I haven't seen ANY of that sort of thing at all within the office. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it's certainly escaped my view. The randiest bunch I deal with now are profs. If my daughter was a GA, I'd refuse to let her go on campus without a taser.

[VeveCakes]

Too funny.... a guy I know who is an attorney with a long time gf is always trying to cheat with me..... came very close when I was single.

[stillafool]

OP I have to agree. I know a bunch of lawyers and they all cheat or are trying to cheat. I don't know what their problem is.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

When I interned at a courthouse I got hit on by quite a few lawyers who were obviously married (rings and all) and I never paid it much attention I just figure they must be lonely having to work all the time I never acted on their flirting or anything though.