I used to think the whole "alpha male" stuff was made up... till recently

[Hawakai]

You are the kind of guy that enables these guys to come on here and bitch and be annoying . Why do you do that?

 

It's pathetic of them to be honest. I didn't do all this bitching and moaning when I wasn't getting laid.

 

I don't like to see my fellow men feed the ego of women they aren't going to be able to sleep with, and I want guys to get to know how it really is, not how some people want it to be like to spare these guys feelings.

[ThaWholigan]

I don't like to see my fellow men feed the ego of women they aren't going to be able to sleep with, and I want guys to get to know how it really is, not how some people want it to be like to spare these guys feelings.

Well I don't like to see my fellow men making excuses for their own sh*t. Yeah, I'm saying it - it's their own fault. And I'm no feminist or female apologist, but a lot of the time, these guys own ignorance gets in the way because they marinade on these things like there's no hope in the world or some sh*t. They think anything positive is corny and reality is all BS and nothing else.

 

I want guys to know how it is, but I don't want them to shrivel up and hide, I don't want them to bitch about it on the internet and I don't want them to ignore women just to "spite them" when they are really spiting themselves. I want them to learn why they are f*cking up instead of blaming things outside of themselves.

 

It's not about feeding women's ego, it's about not being pathetic.

[Necris]

If you look like Danny Devito (But aren't) you shouldn't be looking for a supermodel, or really anyone genuinely attractive... facts of the matter. It does happen, just seldom, and is often skewed by other characteristics or qualities. But being lame and having a bad attitude isn't going to help you. You're helpless, and most of us are sick and tired of trying to help people that don't want to be helped. They just want to sulk.

 

 

 

 

You don't know much about yourself or other people.. Have you ever felt a bad vibe from a person place or thing.. in your gut? That's real, and should be acknowledged. doesn't have to be a bad feeling, but if a good feeling is absent, that's enough for me to walk away... Cause I know there are women/people that make me feel good/better just by being near them.

 

 

 

 

Read "Lookism" on wikipedia. It ends up being a circle where the better looking people in the world have more social practice and then open up more doors for themselves by being better overall people, and not JUST better looking- although that obviously comes into play. Practice practice practice. If you keep practicing you WILL become better. No one ever got worse at something from practicing. <--- look at it that way and keep your proverbial chin up, cause you're missing everything it means to be happy.

 

Edit: Also, you're not even close to being happy with yourself, and alone, so no one will ever be happy for you or with you. Again, facts of the matter. Pooooooor Necris.

 

Practicing works for learning games with rules as you learn from your mistakes, honestly in the dating arena I learn very little from what I did wrong, probably because I'm usually rejected before a first date of any kind so I learn even less. The only thing I can figure out is that I lack the ability to provide that certain "spark", as I can become friends with some women without issue just going beyond that is impossible.

 

As for myself I am actually quite happy with myself at least right now, if you asked me a year or two ago my answer would be different, I hated being me nothing was going right I kept messing everything in my life up, I felt almost a bit suicidal, I couldn't even think, I just felt half retarded. But now I don't know why but everything is making sense, my eyes feel more open, I feel far more intelligent than I've ever felt before, its as if I took NZT except it isn't wearing off in just 24 hours (the extreme intelligence enhancing drug from the movie Limitless), even the people who know me are seeing a difference even my parents are wondering what happened all of a sudden, and its great. I also find myself being more okay in accepting loneliness though I still desire companionship with a woman (also for whatever reason I'm feeling hornier than ever as well, but oh well).

[HopelessRomantic76]

I dont buy the whole alpha thing humans are more complex, the bottom line is your friends probably very soical sucesdful and good looking and contrary to poular belief we are just as visual and horny as dudes

 

When i was drunk and horny there was a few times i wouldnt have minded tearing the clothes off my boyfriens hot friends

[ThaWholigan]

I dont buy the whole alpha thing humans are more complex, the bottom line is your friends probably very soical sucesdful and good looking and contrary to poular belief we are just as visual and horny as dudes

 

When i was drunk and horny there was a few times i wouldnt have minded tearing the clothes off my boyfriens hot friends

I get that women are varied and as visual as men, and some men can be not-so-visual compared to other men too. However, your last sentence just painted you as the kind of woman that the OP is talking about and your case supports his argument. You enable them to think this BS.

[ThaWholigan]

Problem with the OP, and others like him, is that they can't differentiate. They can't understand that women, as you were just pointing out, run the spectrum from princesses to crack-whores. We should all know and accept that enough to not treat either like the other.

Agree. I love women but I know a horrible bitch when I see one .

[volentia]

I never bought into the fact that these so called alpha males had magical powers over women like some people claimed i always thought it was just an excuse to why somebody cant attract women and while i still dont buy its the end all be all lately ive seen it does have some merit

 

My friend who was recently divorced and became single was the so called "alpha" of the group good looking sucessful guy always leading setting places up to go etc

 

Married women in my social circle claimed he was arrogant full of himself etc they seemed to be put off by his "alpha" aura then he becomes single lightly jokes around and flirts with these women add in a little alcohol and these married women who bad mouthed him before are know coming close to crossing the line in flriitng and touching him telling him how hot he is.

 

Is it possible these traits really do have a spell over women where they are off put by his arrogance but at the same time animally attracted because of female wiring? or maybe they were just attracted to him the whole time and badmouthed him in front of people including their husbands to mask feelings they had deep down?

 

 

Ladies can you see how if your mans friend was this type of guy that you could posisbly be seduced in a weak moment?

 

attracted yes. the rakes tend to take us out of our monotanous predictable world and makes for a lot of fun.

and they would have been attracted to him the whole time.

when you hear a woman slag off another man in that context it's either becuase she wants him or he dosen't want her

Edited November 20, 2012 by volentia
spelling

[todreaminblue]

i feel that most happily married women would not have a moment of weakness.Being an alpha is a state of mind.......not in the size of a mans wallet or how he look in a pair of 501s.....i know for a fact that the quieter more unassuming less flashy men have a lot more to offer......your friend newly single might attract attention now he doesnt wear a wedding ring......because the quieter more unassuming men are busy pleasuring their wives in the bedroom and not on display..true alphas....not winking at married women and flirting....flirting invites responses....your friend is getting that......

[AD1980]

alphas....not winking at married women and flirting....flirting invites responses....your friend is getting that......

 

But he lighlty flirts with every female the married women he does it with seem to want to take it to the next level

Edited November 20, 2012 by AD1980

[todreaminblue]

But he lighlty flirts with every female the married women he does it with seem to want to take it to the next level

 

 

the most important word in your sentence is seem ,flirting does not equate to sex or action in the bedroom.....i agree with another poster here who said alpha and beta qualities in a partner are the best...and its true.....a full blown arrogant "alpha" male wont take advice on how to tongue a clitoris because he is arrogant enough to think i have done this before so i know what to do ......arrogant people don't learn anything they already know it those type of people are not good lovers...nice guys tend to want to know what and what you dont and where to put their tongue.....the rest is in the moans.....lol.....is this a bit x rated.....i get passionate about about nice guys getting overlooked for arrogant males....not fond of them.....bedroom betas are so much more fun.....deb

[Imajerk17]

Thing you men might not get is that (A) we're well aware that many man would rather have nsa sex and (B) most of you men...even alpha males who think they're being flirted with...aren't getting either nsa sex or being pinned down. Talking about women you think are flirting with you isn't the same as getting those women into bed with you, or spiriting them away from the non-alphas. Fact is, they're staying with their partners 9 times out of 10.

 

As I said, we make mistakes, but that's about as far as it gets. The drunken booboos may be notches on your bedposts but they're just things we'd rather forget. As I said earlier, most of these men turn out to be incredibly crap in bed.

 

Sure. Most guys on here and in real life have no game. But I want to put what I said another way. Many guys, if we had a choice between being (A) the guy women cheat on their partners with *hate themselves for it* [AKA Alpha Male Bad Boy] or being (B) the guy a woman in a relationship loves but cheats on in a moment of weakness [AKA Nice Guy Provider], we would rather be (A).

 

That you ended up really regretting getting with (A) and still love (B) except for that one moment of weakness that made you get with (A) means nothing to us. So why do women keep bringing up that they ended up regretting getting with (A) as if that should be a reason why we guys really don't want to be (A)? Your feelings of regret are immaterial to us.

 

And that's not a hypothetical question. I've read somewhere that at least 10% of children born in marriages that are otherwise happy, are not the biological offspring of the husband. The wife probably had a one-time thing with the town low-life or something, and ended up getting pregnant for it. Her unsuspecting Nice Guy husband was cuckolded and raising another man's biological child, the woman's "feelings of regret" for that one encounter notwithstanding.

Edited November 20, 2012 by Imajerk17

[ThaWholigan]

Sure. Most guys on here and in real life have no game. But I want to put what I said another way. Many guys, if we had a choice between being (A) the guy women cheat on their partners with *hate themselves for it* [AKA Alpha Male Bad Boy] or being (B) the guy a woman in a relationship loves but cheats on in a moment of weakness [AKA Nice Guy Provider], we would rather be (A).

 

That you ended up really regretting getting with (A) and still love (B) except for that one moment of weakness that made you get with (A) means nothing to us. So why do women keep bringing up that they ended up regretting getting with (A) as if that should be a reason why we guys really don't want to be (A)? Your feelings of regret are immaterial to us.

 

And that's not a hypothetical question. I've read somewhere that at least 10% of children born in marriages that are otherwise happy, are not the biological offspring of the husband. The wife probably had a one-time thing with the town low-life or something, and ended up getting pregnant for it. Her unsuspecting Nice Guy husband was cuckolded and raising another man's biological child, the woman's "feelings of regret" for that one encounter notwithstanding.

Interesting post.....

[Hawakai]

most of you men...even alpha males who think they're being flirted with...aren't getting either nsa sex or being pinned down. Talking about women you think are flirting with you isn't the same as getting those women into bed with you, or spiriting them away from the non-alphas. Fact is, they're staying with their partners 9 times out of 10.

Incorrect. Many times have I seen women in long-term relationships and marriages - decent women - leave their husbands with their friends, to have a quickie with some random Alpha. I understand. Alpha males are very rare and most women will never pin down one of them, so they resort to having casual sex with them.

 

And I agree with the other guy .Many, many times a woman reaches her 30's, figures she can't attract the guys she had sex with when she was young, or wants to have children, decides to marry some sap and then when the guy discovers her number of sex partners she comes out with ''I was abused!'' '' I was manipulated!'' '' I was just a kid!''

 

Somehow I don't think the govt. would accept any of those excuses if war broke out and they needed soldiers.

Edited November 20, 2012 by Hawakai

[Imajerk17]

Interesting post.....

 

Well, I have noticed that some of the women's responses tend to say "...but yeah we don't really respect Guy (A) or want him to stay around..." as if it is something we guys actually care about.

 

I can see why that might mean a lot to a woman. She would rather be the steady girlfriend rather than the girl who means nothing to a guy who banged her one night at a bar.

 

BUT it hardly means jack to a man. If he is (A) he didn't want to stick around anyway and if he is (B) the damage is already done. The risk the man takes in getting cuckolded--investing years to raise another man's genes--is a big reason why this is the case.

Edited November 20, 2012 by Imajerk17

[ThaWholigan]

Well, I have noticed that some of the women's responses tend to say "...but yeah we don't really respect Guy (A) or want him to stay around..." as if it is something we guys actually care about.

 

I can see why that might mean a lot to a woman. She would rather be the steady girlfriend rather than the girl who means nothing to a guy who banged her one night at a bar.

 

BUT it hardly means jack to a man. If he is (A) he didn't want to stick around anyway and if he is (B) the damage is already done. The risk the man takes in getting cuckolded--investing years to raise another man's genes--is a big reason why this is the case.

I absolutely understand exactly why a guy would rather not be the guy who gets cheated on and be the desirable Alpha. The thing is, I've known a few guys who have been that guy and they don't like it anymore than we do. They say they have lost respect for women and has put them off relationships for fear of being that cuckolded guy.

 

It's a risk to take sure, but it's one that is avoidable if you know what you're doing and how to go about it. It's difficult still. I think women would do well to understand that this is how it is going to appear to men.

 

That's not to say that my stance on the guys with "no game" complaining has changed at all, I still think they're being pathetic. But the concerns regarding dating, relationships, sex and how to deal with women who may be misbehaving out there are legitimate I feel.

[Content]

I dont know if its the alpha thing as much as if hes very good looking

 

Women get the same type of feelings when they see a good looking man as we do looking at hot women.

[Hawakai]

Well, I have noticed that some of the women's responses tend to say "...but yeah we don't really respect Guy (A) or want him to stay around..." as if it is something we guys actually care about.

 

I can see why that might mean a lot to a woman. She would rather be the steady girlfriend rather than the girl who means nothing to a guy who banged her one night at a bar.

 

BUT it hardly means jack to a man. If he is (A) he didn't want to stick around anyway and if he is (B) the damage is already done. The risk the man takes in getting cuckolded--investing years to raise another man's genes--is a big reason why this is the case.

 

Why would I be interested in being the boyfriend to a girl who has FWB's in her past? Unless she's a 10, she can find herself another guy, because I'm not the chump that pays(giving her a relationship) for what some other dude had for free.

[aussietigerwolf]

And what would be your opinion of a so called older woman who has never had that kind of past?

[MrCastle]

Wow six pages and my first post in here? How did this one slip past me?

 

Anyway, look; men and women are wired differently and are attracted to different things. The overwhelming majority of women want a strong, dominant, confident man. If you're not that guy, become that guy.

 

There are a few women here who say they are attracted to the shy, socially awkward guy, but they're either lying to make such men who fit that mold on here feel better, or they're outliers in the dating game. If you want results, you have to play by the attraction rules that have been put in place since the dawn of man.

 

The strong, determined, dominant, confident man gets the girl. That's just the way it is. You can label these things alpha and beta (I believe most people have traits from both sides) but whatever you need to do to become that dominant, strong man, you have to do it.

 

Don't get this confused with purely physical. Sure if you're tall and muscular, you can better push that dominant male persona since you're physically imposing, but that's not the only way.

 

It's all in how you carry yourself. I don't accept disrespectful behavior, I walk proud, I make decisions and stick by them, my word is bond, I know what I want and verbalize it, I'm confident in everything I do, etc. In other words, I'm not a push over.

 

You can do this without being a douchebag or a jerk. Being confident doesn't mean you brag about much better you are than other people, being "alpha" doesn't mean you have to be a cheater or a player or a pig or anything of the sort.

 

Being a man is being a man, and you have to be one if you want to attract women.

 

I know

[Quiet Storm]

I think a true alpha is goal oriented, a leader, decisive, assertive and although fair, is not swayed by the opinions of others.

 

Many young women see false bravado and narcissism as alpha, but those traits are actually derived from feelings of inadequacy, insecurity and a need to prove their worthiness to others- the exact opposite of a true alpha, IMO. These men derive their feelings of self worth from their ability to manipulate women, and also their need to show off to other men...look what I got.

 

A true alpha would not care what other men thought. He would be a natural leader that other men admire or want to be like. The important distinction here is that he does not seek out the admiration of other men in order to prove his adequacy, and he does not manipulate to prove his superiority. An alpha always has a plan, he is usually not an opportunist. He will often be a great lover, because he gives 100% into whatever he does and has a natural drive to be successful in all aspects of his life.

[Content]

Wow six pages and my first post in here? How did this one slip past me?

 

Anyway, look; men and women are wired differently and are attracted to different things. The overwhelming majority of women want a strong, dominant, confident man. If you're not that guy, become that guy.

 

 

I think people want different things even amongst the same gender.

 

I know plenty of laid back somewhat passive type b dudes who do great with women

 

Ive found women run the gamut of what they like..I know alpha females who despies alpha males and prefer type b guys.I know women who despise guys who dont run things and make every decision.

 

In my 30 plus years ive learned each person is different in their wants and needs to try to act one way because most or all females will react positively to it is going about it wrong imo

[ThaWholigan]

I think people want different things even amongst the same gender.

 

I know plenty of laid back somewhat passive type b dudes who do great with women

 

Ive found women run the gamut of what they like..I know alpha females who despies alpha males and prefer type b guys.I know women who despise guys who dont run things and make every decision.

 

In my 30 plus years ive learned each person is different in their wants and needs to try to act one way because most or all females will react positively to it is going about it wrong imo

I specified this in another thread- there are going to be traits that appear universal in their attractiveness, but if it is a complete contradiction to the natural base of your character then it will not benefit you to change it if that core character trait is necessary to your progression or simply a fundamental component of who you are.

 

You can be a somewhat passive man and still be dominant in fact, I believe I've said this more than once. As long as you are active when you need to be. What happens if you adopt a personality trait that appears to attract the hot girls, only for you to realize that this hot girl isn't really for you in the end because it's not a true complement to your natural expression? You end up in one of those marriages that the same cynics seem to talk about a lot (no sex, divorce, child support etc).

 

It is better to use traits that are complementary to your natural character then you will attract you're supposed to attract, and the attraction will be mutual.

 

In my opinion of course

 

/disclaimer

[Content]

I specified this in another thread- there are going to be traits that appear universal in their attractiveness, but if it is a complete contradiction to the natural base of your character then it will not benefit you to change it if that core character trait is necessary to your progression or simply a fundamental component of who you are.

 

You can be a somewhat passive man and still be dominant in fact, I believe I've said this more than once. As long as you are active when you need to be. What happens if you adopt a personality trait that appears to attract the hot girls, only for you to realize that this hot girl isn't really for you in the end because it's not a true complement to your natural expression? You end up in one of those marriages that the same cynics seem to talk about a lot (no sex, divorce, child support etc).

 

It is better to use traits that are complementary to your natural character then you will attract you're supposed to attract, and the attraction will be mutual.

 

In my opinion of course

 

/disclaimer

 

I agree..The only thing as a man its hard to be passive in to be sucessful is approaching because unless youre pretty good looking youre gonna have to approach and be pro active its the way it is.

 

Ill never understand guys who claim to get women you have to be streotypical mr dominant alpha or the corny term bad boy

 

I dont think im all that attractive[though women on here lied and said im handsome in my pic just to be nice in all honesty:laugh:] but ive done decent with women at times off being the sweet charming gentleman as women tell me its my angle and its worked for me.

 

Be who the f you are the best you can be and youll do fine as you said if you put up a fake persona even if it helps you get women it will crash and burn when you realize you arent close to compatible with her only your facade was.

[ThaWholigan]

I agree..The only thing as a man its hard to be passive in to be sucessful is approaching because unless youre pretty good looking youre gonna have to approach and be pro active its the way it is.

 

Ill never understand guys who claim to get women you have to be streotypical mr dominant alpha or the corny term bad boy

 

I dont think im all that attractive[though women on here lied and said im handsome in my pic just to be nice in all honesty:laugh:] but ive done decent with women at times off being the sweet charming gentleman as women tell me its my angle and its worked for me.

 

Be who the f you are the best you can be and youll do fine as you said if you put up a fake persona even if it helps you get women it will crash and burn when you realize you arent close to compatible with her only your facade was.

Yep 100%

 

And I do think looks matter to a large degree, but honestly there are still going to be women who see you as her type - it just depends on other factors involved, but the attraction will be there even if you are not stereotypically hot, as I have experienced myself.

[MrCastle]

I think people want different things even amongst the same gender.

 

I know plenty of laid back somewhat passive type b dudes who do great with women

 

Ive found women run the gamut of what they like..I know alpha females who despies alpha males and prefer type b guys.I know women who despise guys who dont run things and make every decision.

 

In my 30 plus years ive learned each person is different in their wants and needs to try to act one way because most or all females will react positively to it is going about it wrong imo

 

Did you read my post in its entirety or just clipped this part out to make a point?

 

I'm not advising men change their entire persona or put a fake one on, but if results are what men here are looking for, and I assume most are, it's best they try their hardest to improve in areas of confidence and dominance.

 

How many dominant, strong, confident, leader type men are on here complaining they can't find dates? Not many. Like I said, men and women are wired differently. That's been proven. It's science, it's nature. Your odds of finding success are infinitely greater if you possess the traits women have been drawn to since we were painting in caves.

 

And again, never once did the bad boy term come up in my post. I said specifically being confident and strong has little to do with being a jerk or a douche.

 

Have you never met a soft spoken, respectful, confident, bold man?

 

That's what I'm promoting.