I used to think the whole "alpha male" stuff was made up... till recently

[peytondoll]

I agree average looking or belwo average looking dudes who are in relationships just have to accept their nothing more then a emtional tampon to their wife/girlfriend and theyll always secretly lust for the hot guy

 

 

Maybe not all women are super shallow. Maybe some people actually act like humans and not apes.

[salparadise]

I agree average looking or belwo average looking dudes who are in relationships just have to accept their nothing more then a emtional tampon to their wife/girlfriend and theyll always secretly lust for the hot guy

 

Maybe not all women are super shallow. Maybe some people actually act like humans and not apes.

 

Women are always going to be attracted to superior physical specimens, intelligence, power and social status. They're hard-wired as such. The only real questions are, a) is she attractive enough to capture the imagination of such a man, and b) are her superego and relationship to the husband strong enough to subjugate the urge. If she perceives that the guy's genes are clearly superior to the husband's, she'll often find a way to justify a romp even though it's contrary to her value system. And, the chances of conceiving are greater than they are with her husband.

[peytondoll]

Women are always going to be attracted to superior physical specimens, intelligence, power and social status. They're hard-wired as such. The only real questions are, a) is she attractive enough to capture the imagination of such a man, and b) are her superego and relationship to the husband strong enough to subjugate the urge. If she perceives that the guy's genes are clearly superior to the husband's, she'll often find a way to justify a romp even though it's contrary to her value system. And, the chances of conceiving are greater than they are with her husband.

 

 

I am more evolved than that. The primary thing I have examined in potential marriage partners was character. Didnt matter if he was hot or loaded. With this economy, people are getting laid off all the time. Men's looks decrease with age too...its just focused more on women since women are valued for their looks. I know some say older men can be hot...I think they can be but I still find younger men to be more attractive. Character, however, si very hard to change. Some people can grow into a person with good character but it is rare and I wouldnt be willing to bank on it. However, not all women have the same view as me.

 

Ive attracted hot, rich men before so I think I have it in me. None of these men had good character. All of them would not be able to not cheat or continue to not be bored with me due to their more plentiful options.

Edited November 27, 2012 by peytondoll

[SteveC80]

Its simple.

 

Low quality woman + settling on their husband/husband not fulfilling needs + Attractive new guy = your OP

 

Lets be real though. Im not surprised women are attracted to an attractive bloke at the ages you all are at. Especially when you consider how most people let themselves go as they enter their 30s.

 

I told you this before when you brought this guy up...the bad mouthing is simply a facade to hide their attraction. They dont really believe much of the crap they say. They merely want to keep up appearances for everyone else.

 

Lets stop with this alpha nonsense. The guy is an attractive dude...and thats why the girls like him. End of story (the successfulness helps too...but its mainly his looks when compared to his peers.)

 

Thank you! it is mostly about looks.Some people here say i brag about my looks and exploits with women but thats not what im doing

 

Ive seen first hand how crazy women get around men they are attracted to and its not pretty

 

Its made me think less of women seeing how they react aorund me,especially the hundreds and hundreds of married women whove hit on me

 

Its why i dont trust females

Edited November 27, 2012 by SteveC80

[peytondoll]

Thank you! it is mostly about looks.Some people here say i brag about my looks and exploits with women but thats not what im doing

 

Ive seen first hand how crazy women get around men they are attracted to and its not pretty

 

Its made me think less of women seeing how they react aorund me,especially the hundreds and hundreds of married women whove hit on me

 

Its why i dont trust females

 

It is so funny you state this. I have the exact same experience, only I am a woman. I dont trust men- most men that havent cheated havent been given an opportunity where there was a hot girl and a strong likelihood of not getting caught. Its all men- and stats show men are more likely to do it even when they are being sexually and emotionally fulfilled at home, while the vast majority of women do it when something is missing from a relationship

 

I see so many average looking married men with goddess wives they dont deserve that do crap like this

[HopelessRomantic76]

I dont understand why women are killed for being shallow yet men are expected to be shallow,were both sexual beings who get hot and bothered looking at good looking people

 

It seems as if in shape classically handsome me nare an endangered species these days so if we see one yes we might get a little flustered and give him some leeway for being a jerk let us have our fun and admire a beautiful site:love:

[starla33]

Actually arrogance is one of the biggest turnoffs ever.

 

And no, I'm not full of sh*t.

 

TOTALLY agree. I was about to dump this guy for his cockyness, but he stopped talking to me anyway so.... didn't need to do it.

[verhrzn]

Sometimes reading these sorts of threads makes me want to blast my head off. Talk about being unable to win.... if women admit to liking alphas, then that means it's "allowable" for men to be absolute sexist jerks/pigs to women as payback/punishment/give-me-sex-Quest, and if a woman admits to NOT liking alphas, well then she's a liar and probably a slut who opens her legs for the first alpha she sees, and so a guy should be a jerk to her anyway.

 

It's all so hair-tingly-frustrating, I really just do.not.know how to process it at times.

Edited November 27, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[fortyninethousand322]

It's all so hair-tingly-frustrating, I really just do.not.know how to process it at times.

 

Come on, it's the internet. Half of it can be processed as "humor" and the other half "nonsense". And maybe 10% actual truth.

 

Those numbers may or may not add up...

[Oxy Moronovich]

Women are always going to be attracted to superior physical specimens, intelligence, power and social status. They're hard-wired as such. The only real questions are, a) is she attractive enough to capture the imagination of such a man, and b) are her superego and relationship to the husband strong enough to subjugate the urge. If she perceives that the guy's genes are clearly superior to the husband's, she'll often find a way to justify a romp even though it's contrary to her value system. And, the chances of conceiving are greater than they are with her husband.

Women are basically attracted to what other women want. Alotta times, when I'm out with my gf, women will be super friendly to me. But without my gf, even when I go to these same places, I usually get treated like wallpaper.

[Shaun-Dro]

I never bought into the fact that these so called alpha males had magical powers over women like some people claimed i always thought it was just an excuse to why somebody cant attract women and while i still dont buy its the end all be all lately ive seen it does have some merit

 

My friend who was recently divorced and became single was the so called "alpha" of the group good looking sucessful guy always leading setting places up to go etc

 

Married women in my social circle claimed he was arrogant full of himself etc they seemed to be put off by his "alpha" aura then he becomes single lightly jokes around and flirts with these women add in a little alcohol and these married women who bad mouthed him before are know coming close to crossing the line in flriitng and touching him telling him how hot he is.

 

Is it possible these traits really do have a spell over women where they are off put by his arrogance but at the same time animally attracted because of female wiring? or maybe they were just attracted to him the whole time and badmouthed him in front of people including their husbands to mask feelings they had deep down?

 

 

Ladies can you see how if your mans friend was this type of guy that you could posisbly be seduced in a weak moment?

 

Let me give you a small secret. When a woman badmouthes you there's a good chance to seduce her because she wants to be. It's a challenge for a real man to take under. But whenever a woman tells you how much of a nice guy you are, forget about it! She's given you the kiss of death.

[A O]

The primary thing I have examined in potential marriage partners was character. Didnt matter if he was hot or loaded.

The hot guy with character (and there's plenty of them around) will still trump an average guy with character. There's a fair chance that your own character will fly out the window in the face of the former, which is the point of some posters here.

 

I dont trust men- most men that havent cheated havent been given an opportunity where there was a hot girl and a strong likelihood of not getting caught.

This is true, there are many who would be like this. But this is also nothing new. What is new is realizing that women are exactly the same. Now, that's a bit hard for many women to handle and news to many men! Women are not the fairer sex, we are all equal, but that includes being capable of doing bad as well as doing good. Women are known for doing the latter and rarely known for engaging in the former and vice versa for men. True equality will see the genders evenly balanced on both scores.

[veggirl]

Of course tons and tons of women are attracted to "ALPHA" characteristics. Like, why is that even up for debate?

 

Maybe some women on LS aren't but...I'd venture to guess that many of the women on LS are perhaps more "outliers" (to steal the term used earlier in this thread) so...perhaps not the best representations of "norm" ?

 

And I agree with whoever said that there is likely an element of denial......cause I suppose in the context of THIS thread, liking alpha qualities is a negative. But you'll see loads of threads where the descriptions of what women admit THEY want are pretty much "alpha".

 

YEAH you will always have more success with women if you are confident, outgoing, charismatic, a leader!! DUH?? Seriously whats the question again? I read the thread but I guess the way it turned confused me cause I don't see how this is debatable really.

 

Sure a mousy, insecure, homebody girl might prefer a quiet bookworm unsocial guy but the majority of women are gonna want the secure, confident guy that oozes masculinity.

 

You'll certainly never find ME claiming "no, I prefer a nerd!"

[ThaWholigan]

Of course tons and tons of women are attracted to "ALPHA" characteristics. Like, why is that even up for debate?

 

Maybe some women on LS aren't but...I'd venture to guess that many of the women on LS are perhaps more "outliers" (to steal the term used earlier in this thread) so...perhaps not the best representations of "norm" ?

 

And I agree with whoever said that there is likely an element of denial......cause I suppose in the context of THIS thread, liking alpha qualities is a negative. But you'll see loads of threads where the descriptions of what women admit THEY want are pretty much "alpha".

 

YEAH you will always have more success with women if you are confident, outgoing, charismatic, a leader!! DUH?? Seriously whats the question again? I read the thread but I guess the way it turned confused me cause I don't see how this is debatable really.

 

Sure a mousy, insecure, homebody girl might prefer a quiet bookworm unsocial guy but the majority of women are gonna want the secure, confident guy that oozes masculinity.

 

You'll certainly never find ME claiming "no, I prefer a nerd!"

I think the debate is whether this makes women shallow or whether the guys who think they aren't alpha should stop bitching about it and at least try to incorporate some more "alpha" qualities if it annoys them so much .

[Pyro]

I think the debate is whether this makes women shallow or whether the guys who think they aren't alpha should stop bitching about it and at least try to incorporate some more "alpha" qualities if it annoys them so much .

 

or another thing to look at is that some people seem to believe that being an alpha means that you are a......wait for it.......jerk. So then the usual crowd will come here and say that being a jerk is the best route to go.

 

That's another debate to consider as well.

[A O]

I think the debate is whether this makes women shallow or whether the guys who think they aren't alpha should stop bitching about it and at least try to incorporate some more "alpha" qualities if it annoys them so much .

Pay them no heed if bitchin gets to ya otherwise you're just singing from the same song sheet. As for the point of the debate, the real point is that the genders are a lot closer aligned behaviour-wise than many ever thought or care to admit.

[ThaWholigan]

Pay them no heed if bitchin gets to ya otherwise you're just singing from the same song sheet. As for the point of the debate, the real point is that the genders are a lot closer aligned behaviour-wise than many ever thought or care to admit.

I agree. I'm often just trying to help them so it does get annoying.

 

I think the genders are closer aligned behavior-wise, but only in the sense that everybody is an individual and while there will be groups and similarities, ultimately not everything is going to turn out terrible .

[Sanman]

or another thing to look at is that some people seem to believe that being an alpha means that you are a......wait for it.......jerk. So then the usual crowd will come here and say that being a jerk is the best route to go.

 

That's another debate to consider as well.

 

 

Well, that depends on how you define alpha. I define it as someone that has an abundance of the traits that are socially desirable in a given society. In that case, many alphas may be jerks because there is is no need for humility when you have so many other desirable traits. Thus, people believe that women are attracted to jerks. However, they are simply attracted to socially desirable traits that come with the jerk, just like anyone else. This is hardly news.

[Pyro]

Well, that depends on how you define alpha. I define it as someone that has an abundance of the traits that are socially desirable in a given society. In that case, many alphas may be jerks because there is is no need for humility when you have so many other desirable traits. Thus, people believe that women are attracted to jerks. However, they are simply attracted to socially desirable traits that come with the jerk, just like anyone else. This is hardly news.

 

How you define alpha was what I meant when I said that was another debate.

 

FTR my definition of a true alpha is one who is desired and respected without having to be an as$.

[USMCHokie]

How you define alpha was what I meant when I said that was another debate.

 

FTR my definition of a true alpha is one who is desired and respected without having to be an as$.

 

Well, certain areas of study or discussion will have terms of art particular to that area, and these terms sometimes deviate from the generally accepted definition. They also often evolve in the field. I think the term "alpha," when applied in the discussion of interpersonal relationships, has come to mean "jerk." When you ask someone, while discussing dating and relationships, what comes to mind when you say "alpha," more often than not, the notion of the narcissistic jerk is the first and sometimes only thing to come to mind.

 

Communication is the transmission of information from one person to another...and you may have your own personal definition of certain terms. However, if you communicate to others under the assumption that your definition of a term is "correct," especially when it deviates from the social norm, communication fails. I think it's silly when discussions become nothing more than arguments in semantics where certain people cannot accept that a certain definition may be wholly appropriate for the discussion, the definition may not be the "number 1" definition in the dictionary, or worse, the definition doesn't match their definition.

 

End rant.

[Pyro]

Well, certain areas of study or discussion will have terms of art particular to that area, and these terms sometimes deviate from the generally accepted definition. They also often evolve in the field. I think the term "alpha," when applied in the discussion of interpersonal relationships, has come to mean "jerk." When you ask someone, while discussing dating and relationships, what comes to mind when you say "alpha," more often than not, the notion of the narcissistic jerk is the first and sometimes only thing to come to mind.

 

Communication is the transmission of information from one person to another...and you may have your own personal definition of certain terms. However, if you communicate to others under the assumption that your definition of a term is "correct," especially when it deviates from the social norm, communication fails. I think it's silly when discussions become nothing more than arguments in semantics where certain people cannot accept that a certain definition may be wholly appropriate for the discussion, the definition may not be the "number 1" definition in the dictionary, or worse, the definition doesn't match their definition.

 

End rant.

 

To sum it up: everyone has their version of the definition. I'm aware that many will assume 'jerk' goes along with alpha, but I am confident that there are many others like me out there.

[Content]

It seems these stupid labels get throw around on the internet much more then out in the world..

 

Whatever the labels i know plenty of laid back type b personalities who attract women..

 

The only way it hurts is if your so passive you wont even approach and talk to women otherwise you dont need to be the center of attention or a social group to attract a women.

Edited December 1, 2012 by Content

[USMCHokie]

The only way it hurts is if your so passive you wont even approach and talk to women otherwise you dont need to be the center of attention or a social group to attract a women.

 

Generally speaking, the perceptions are as follows:

 

Physically attractive + passive = Shy (in an endearing way) + dark/mysterious.

 

Physically unattractive + passive = Socially inept.

 

Physically unattractive + center of attention = "Insecure" attention whore + creepy.

 

Physically attraction + center of attention = "Alpha male."

Edited December 1, 2012 by USMCHokie

[Sanman]

How you define alpha was what I meant when I said that was another debate.

 

FTR my definition of a true alpha is one who is desired and respected without having to be an as$.

 

Fair enough

 

Though, for the record, I don't believe that you have to be a jerk to be an alpha. I believe that being a jerk is completely independent of being an alpha. For example, a tall, rich, good looking guy can be a jerk or the nicest guy in the world. However, it is the tall, rich, good looking part that draws the women in. Nice might just be the cherry on top for some women.

[Content]

Generally speaking, the perceptions are as follows:

 

Physically attractive + passive = Shy (in an endearing way) + dark/mysterious.

 

Physically unattractive + passive = Socially inept.

 

Physically unattractive + center of attention = "Insecure" attention whore + creepy.

 

Physically attraction + center of attention = "Alpha male."

 

I dont disagree that beign good lookings an advantage when i go out with my very good looking friend women fawn over him so im not totally ignorant to what the op is tlaking about

 

Im also aware having a certain look can be a negative or positive of somebodies iniital perception of you i just cant agree that all women want the alpha male i know all types of men who attract women in terms of personalities.