Am I fricking fool for taking him back?

[Kristinch1]

The boyfriend and I have been together two years. We are both divorcees with children. We broke up Oct 1st as he was trying to reconcile with his ex wife. Said she was the love of his life and that he wanted his family back together. He didn't come to me with this on his own. I found pictures of her all dolled up on his cell phone and videos of her on his laptop . Recent ones. Not sexual ones but of her in her bedroom doing her hair and make up. She was calling them 'a day in the life diary ." My ex husband is engaged to be married now and I certainly don't send him videos of me in my bedroom doing my hair and while I do send him pics of the kids, I don't send him ones of me. Anyway his ex wife said no to the reconciliation and accepted an engagement ring from my boyfriend's ex best friend whom she left my boyfriend for.

Two weeks go the boyfriend and I got back together. He said he was an idiot and it was me he loved, and yada yada yada.

Now yesterday he went to the movies with his kids and the ex wife. And whenever he drops the kids off to her he brings Back homemade chili or pasta that she has given him for dinner.

I told him he was an idiot. That he knows very well I am struggling greatly with feeling like I was second choice and that my relationship is at her whim. If she wants him back then he is going to drop me like a hot potato and he should not have gone to the movies with them . Especially since I took his daughter to that very same movie the day before they went and he wasn't wanting to go then.

But I told him I think he was an insensitive idiot but I am thinking I am the real idiot here for taking him back

[Kite]

Yes.

 

I think you might be wasting your time and setting yourself up for more heart-break. I understand why you took him back, it's hard to let someone go, but he is using you as a fall-back-girl.

 

You will never be sure of his love for you and will always feel insecure about his relationship with his ex-wife. This does not make for a happy, healthy relationship. A good relationship means security and emotional safety.

 

I am sorry that you are in this situation, competing with an ex-wife can not be easy.

[mammasita]

I think you are crazy for taking him back, but I think its even crazier that you took him back without setting any ground rules.

 

You need to look at the big picture:

Why are they "exes" in the first place? (he seems like he's still hung up on her)

Why does his wife have to go with when he spends time with the kids? (they're divorced, no reason for her to have "family time" with him)

[itsmyfault]

The boyfriend and I have been together two years. We are both divorcees with children. We broke up Oct 1st as he was trying to reconcile with his ex wife. Said she was the love of his life and that he wanted his family back together. He didn't come to me with this on his own. I found pictures of her all dolled up on his cell phone and videos of her on his laptop . Recent ones. Not sexual ones but of her in her bedroom doing her hair and make up. She was calling them 'a day in the life diary ." My ex husband is engaged to be married now and I certainly don't send him videos of me in my bedroom doing my hair and while I do send him pics of the kids, I don't send him ones of me. Anyway his ex wife said no to the reconciliation and accepted an engagement ring from my boyfriend's ex best friend whom she left my boyfriend for.

Two weeks go the boyfriend and I got back together. He said he was an idiot and it was me he loved, and yada yada yada.

Now yesterday he went to the movies with his kids and the ex wife. And whenever he drops the kids off to her he brings Back homemade chili or pasta that she has given him for dinner.

I told him he was an idiot. That he knows very well I am struggling greatly with feeling like I was second choice and that my relationship is at her whim. If she wants him back then he is going to drop me like a hot potato and he should not have gone to the movies with them . Especially since I took his daughter to that very same movie the day before they went and he wasn't wanting to go then.

But I told him I think he was an insensitive idiot but I am thinking I am the real idiot here for taking him back

 

 

It's interesting to read this, You gave me such brilliant advice.

 

I really do think you should end it though, He came running back because his wife would not have him. You are the pillow to soften the blow.

 

At least if you end it, You are the one who stopped him walking all over you, Make a stand, Stand up for what you already know is the right thing to do.

 

Any longer with this guy is just going to eat away at your self esteem.

[Emilia]

I am thinking I am the real idiot here for taking him back

 

yes

 

 

 

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