When To Stop Dating?

[somedude81]

Reading these threads is making me depressed......

What's funny is that as bad as V has it. My life is worse

[SteveC80]

 

, or a loving family,

 

Which is the root of the problem imo..From the few times you mentioned them no offense but it seems as if you have pretty bad non caring parents which can really f people up for most of their life..

[mickleb]

Hello.

 

When you start trying to explain your problems to others on here and find very few responses give you the comfort you seek, does it make you happier? Or do you feel worse?

[mickleb]

Double post. Sorry.

[phineas]

Except, don't forget that regardless of how she looked you still may have not liked her enough to keep dating anyway. I mean - you have to like a person, right?

 

Well that also. But they gotta be really fricken annoying or dumb/ignorant or very boring for me to not actually like them.

 

I'm not that hard to please personality wise.

 

I've had to let go women that I really really really wanted to sex but didn't because I knew there was no way I would want to actually have a relationship with her & that was what she was looking for.

[Under The Radar]

Yes, I have tried a barbell. I assume by the Hip Thrust you are meaning dead-lifts? I do squats with proper form (had 3 trainers, my weight-lifting martial arts instructor, and several videos from different forums confirm it.) Along with squats, I also did dead lifts and lunges with weights.

 

I WILL accept advice, once it becomes applicable to me. What posters are doing is ignoring what I am saying, and then giving me advice that I have already had, already tried, or already said does not work for me.

 

Short of forcing people to live in my body with me for a few days, I have no idea how to get people to STOP giving me advice I say doesn't work, and to just BELIEVE me when I say I have already tried that.

 

I can easily tell you what is the common denominator; ME. What people seem to have a hard time accepting is that for some people, the deck is just stacked against them from the start, and sometimes the things given to us in life (genetics, looks, the way our brains are wired) are just too much to overcome.

 

 

Nope, the deadlift and the hip thrust are very different exercises.

 

However, the exclusion of a fully codified and meaningful fitness program isn't the primary issue here.

 

The biggest problem here, yet again, is your mental attitude. Like another poster stated, if you constantly tell yourself life sucks and nobody likes me then this WILL be your reality.

 

We all have problems; this is the reason many of us come to LS. The forums give us a place to vent, gain insight, ask for advice, and have valuable conversations. Nevertheless, despite difficulties in our lives, it is up to US to find happiness.

 

A great boyfriend or the perfect body doesn't guarantee happiness. As "old" and "cliched" as it is, happiness really does come from within. A big part of that is having passion for something. What are you passionate about?

[aussietigerwolf]

Honestly, if I felt that bad about dating then I would quit and focus on stuff I did enjoy

[runningfar]

 

Sometimes I feel like I have to be The Representative for Ugly Women, because it seems like no one discusses their experiences. Their existence is denied or downplayed. You see posters being like "Oh well I know so-and-so," but it is rare to see another female poster on this board SAY they are one

 

Hello. I am bigger than you it sounds like (obese according to some in the forum ). I have shared that several times. I am not conventionally attractive.

 

A few things.

1. If you are feeling that bad avoid this forum. It's not reality and sometimes it makes me feel like ship for my weight and looks and I have relatively thick skin.

 

2. I haven't shared what I do for a living but I do not make huge amounts of money... I piece together things here and there from teaching exercise classes, teaching some children extracurriculars in health and wellness, and some personal training. I am not some exceptional person beside my looks.

 

3. I still have not been single except by choice and there were at least some men showing interest in the time after my divorce when I was actively avoiding it. These are usually great guys, not some unemployed slovenly losers. I get approached and I have never had a guy use me for sex. I have not been treated poorly... Even my exhusband was a good guy other than his changes on ideals and expectations we previously shared.

 

4. I am not a person people especially notice. I stay to the fringes. People say I am funny once they get past the shy. Even here, people haven't really noticed me one way or the other. I am not a charismatic person exceptionally.

 

This to me, as an "unattractive" woman says that the highest likelihood of why you find yourself as you do is your limiting self belief. People will take your word on it as to what you are worth.

We all have tines we are down on ourselves. Before I got back on the market I had convinced myself that the guys who showed interest while I was single all wanted sex or were not being sincere (that's what lurking online away from reality will get you). But dust off and move forward.

 

And do not accept people treating you one iota less than you deserve. I am thankful to my mom for teaching me that but you can always implement it at any point!

[Mme. Chaucer]

If I spent a tremendous amount of time talking about how fat and ugly I am, and pointing out my specific flaws, and appeared to prefer this topic to almost any other, and constantly worked at getting everybody to see me the way I saw myself, and to discuss with me the unpleasantness of my various body parts - I am positive that I would, in fact, be seen as very ugly.

 

My husband would probably stop wanting to have sex with me. Probably stop wanting to be married to me.

 

I bet this holds true for almost everybody who's reading this thread.

[Leigh 87]

SEE ^^^^^^^^ :bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

 

A poster who is not conventionally attractive, had a long term, loving husband who did not cheat on her, and also had/has men interested in her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And she is not some..... super, super human, who stands out and blows people away with her charisma and wit (she said herself this much^^)

 

SHE IS BIGGER THAN YOU, and IS NOT SOME STAND OUT, NOTICABLE PERSON

 

 

 

........ THE KEY DIFFERENCE IS HER SELF BELIEF.

 

 

 

HER SELF BELIEVE IS THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HER GETTING DATES

 

 

 

SHE IS NOT MORE seamingly groundbreaking than YOU, as a person...

 

 

SHE. JUST. HAS. MORE. SELF. BELIEF.

[verhrzn]

Fine, new tactic.

 

I will be declaring from now on that I am the most gorgeous woman in the world, that the reason men never hit on me or want to date is because they're so intimidated by the looks. Yes, I am absolutely gorgeous even though I have absolutely no evidence to support it. I have no friends because I am just too interesting that they feel they can't measure up, and absolutely every single person wants to have sex with me because I just that amazing. The only reason my boyfriend won't sleep with me is because he is afraid his lean-and-thin body just won't be able to compensate next to my flat ass, tiny boobs, and "curvy" stomach.

 

... Come on, seriously, does that somehow sound realistic, or even that much better? It just makes me sound delusional.

 

I will never understand how you guys go from one thread yelling at me about how I need to be "positive" and think I'm awesome... and then jump into another thread and bash someone for being unrealistic about their looks and standards. It's absolutely baffling.

[verhrzn]

3. I still have not been single except by choice and there were at least some men showing interest in the time after my divorce when I was actively avoiding it. These are usually great guys, not some unemployed slovenly losers. I get approached and I have never had a guy use me for sex. I have not been treated poorly... Even my exhusband was a good guy other than his changes on ideals and expectations we previously shared.

 

This to me, as an "unattractive" woman says that the highest likelihood of why you find yourself as you do is your limiting self belief. People will take your word on it as to what you are worth.

We all have tines we are down on ourselves. Before I got back on the market I had convinced myself that the guys who showed interest while I was single all wanted sex or were not being sincere (that's what lurking online away from reality will get you). But dust off and move forward.

 

And do not accept people treating you one iota less than you deserve. I am thankful to my mom for teaching me that but you can always implement it at any point!

 

Newsflash: if men are attracted to you, it means you are attractive. That means that your "unattractiveness" really IS only in your head, because all of your exterior evidence suggests men DO find you attractive, marrying you and dating you.

 

My self-belief didn't spring out the ground fully formed. Men have NEVER been interested in me, even before I go on the "I'm ugly" train. I believe I'm ugly BECAUSE men have never shown an interest in me.

[verhrzn]

SEE ^^^^^^^^ :bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

 

A poster who is not conventionally attractive, had a long term, loving husband who did not cheat on her, and also had/has men interested in her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And she is not some..... super, super human, who stands out and blows people away with her charisma and wit (she said herself this much^^)

 

SHE IS BIGGER THAN YOU, and IS NOT SOME STAND OUT, NOTICABLE PERSON

 

 

 

........ THE KEY DIFFERENCE IS HER SELF BELIEF.

 

 

 

HER SELF BELIEVE IS THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HER GETTING DATES

 

 

 

SHE IS NOT MORE seamingly groundbreaking than YOU, as a person...

 

 

SHE. JUST. HAS. MORE. SELF. BELIEF.

 

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. She is not ACTUALLY unattractive.... she just thinks she is. She has no evidence to support it, because as she says, she is never single except by choice. That says she is actually attractive to men.

 

In fact, she proves it has nothing to DO with self-belief. Because SHE still thinks she's unattractive, and yet she has men chasing her. So according to your theory, because she thinks she's nothing special (shy, not attractive, not charismatic, etc.) she shouldn't have any guys. And yet she does.

 

Which proves self-belief has very little to do with physical attractiveness.

[mickleb]

Hello.

 

When you start trying to explain your problems to others on here and find very few responses give you the comfort you seek, does it make you happier? Or do you feel worse?

 

Triple post. Not sorry.

[Leigh 87]

NO no no..

 

Your WAYYYYYYY off with the self belief thing.....

 

Self believe is not believing your hot when your... NOT!

 

Self belief and being positive is about accepting yourself, realizing your not super attractive to most or ANY people (In some cases) and then saying:

 

" well, I am not attractive, but I am still worthy of finding a guy who loves and adores me"

 

" I am going to have a full and happy life, and not let the fact I am not attractive get me down

 

" a great guy I meet will admire me and fall in love with me one day based on by positive outlook, and who I am"

 

" the guy who is right for me probably will not be hot by normal standards, because I am not hot myself, yet I will still meet another human being who adores me and who I can have a very happy relationship with"

 

You HAVE zero self belief. I AM NOT that attractive, and HAVE NO degree like you do, V, yet I believe that I am awesome, that despite not everyone liking me or wanting to date me, that I WILL STILL end up with a great guy who adores and loves me (I am currently with a guy who thinks I am great)

 

There is something seriously amiss with you; I have pretty bad self esteem in regards to my body, yet I still believe in myself, that I am destined to have a great, happy life is I work for it.

 

You NEED to find the right meds, I feel, without being an expert on the matter but just from the degree of your.... negativity.

I once spoke EXACTLY like you did; I tried to kill myself too almost, when I thought the way you did.

 

V's threads reminds me of ME before I enstilled in me self belief; this thread reminds me of right before I wanted to commit suicicide, hence why I am so worried about V.

[FitChick]

I would rather be honestly miserable.

 

So you must be very happy!

 

Fingers crossed this means no more "pity party" threads since she is so happy being miserable.

[dreamerisland]

When to stop dating? When your dead.

[Hawakai]

Newsflash: if men are attracted to you, it means you are attractive. That means that your "unattractiveness" really IS only in your head, because all of your exterior evidence suggests men DO find you attractive, marrying you and dating you.

 

My self-belief didn't spring out the ground fully formed. Men have NEVER been interested in me, even before I go on the "I'm ugly" train. I believe I'm ugly BECAUSE men have never shown an interest in me.

 

Alright. Lets say you're ugly. Average-looking women are pursued by men of all ranks. That leave the average-looking men empty-handed if they don't date women who are below-average. Why aren't you swimming in men? Could it be your extreme masculine ''energy'' that you probably broadcast during your interactions with the opposite sex? Do you know how to be feminine?

[volentia]

OP, why not post your picture and lets see how ugly you really are...we could advise to what you could do with changing to better your prospects. if youve got money u could have plastic surgery, its not shamefull.

[SmileFace]

OP, why not post your picture and lets see how ugly you really are...we could advise to what you could do with changing to better your prospects. if youve got money u could have plastic surgery, its not shamefull.

 

You must be new. The girl isn't ugly - don't waste your time telling her different. It has been done.

[dreamerisland]

You must be new. The girl isn't ugly - don't waste your time telling her different. It has been done.

How do we know that she isn't ugly?

[volentia]

yes i'm new and would love to see her face, and put an end to all this nonsense.

if she dosent post her piccy, in order to decide, i will have to deduce that she is indeed ugly, and also annoying... theres nothing much worse than being ugly and annoying

[Under The Radar]

IMO, if I had to compare her to an actress based on appearance, she looks like Rachael Leigh Cook. Most men I know would find her physically attractive.

[Anela]

yes i'm new and would love to see her face, and put an end to all this nonsense.

if she dosent post her piccy, in order to decide, i will have to deduce that she is indeed ugly, and also annoying... theres nothing much worse than being ugly and annoying

 

Being beautiful and annoying is so much better, because at least you're nice to look at. right.

 

I don't think V. is ugly, but I can understand how she would feel that way, if her boyfriend no longer has any interest in having sex with her. People have made good points, but insulting her doesn't help either.

[Under The Radar]

OP, I want to ask you again, what are you passionate about?