lstorie1971 Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 After many years of neglecting my wife, she announced to me that she does not love me any more. We talked and decided that we would stay together for the children. after a day or so of thinking, i decided that I could not live that way and announed that I was moving out. She then stated that she wanted me to stay for several reasons: financial, the kids, that we were friends, that we could work on it. I am still thinking, but she has started talking to me like a real friend and we went out with another couple tonight and had a good time. She has proposed "dates" twice monthly - just me and her and has said that she would like to keep the sexual relationship going (but "not too much sex" whatever that means). she still insists though that physical contact (other than sex I suppose) makes her uncomfortable and would prefer not to have any at this point. Is there a flicker of feeling there or is she just playing me for a fool, allowing me to support her while she moves on emotionally? I think (hope) that there is a flicker of feeling and think a short term separation might help answer that question. We really can't afford the separation financially, but if it will save the marriage (or put a merciful end to a bad one) perhaps it is worth it. For what it is worth, during my emotional shut down, she started going to the gym, got in great shape and made new friends (women mostly - there are no concerns about infidelity). She has a lot of self-confidence because of this and thinks she can make it on her own (even though she has asked me to stay). Most of these friends are single and one has even told her to "just do it," meaning leave/divorce. I think she wants to live the single life a bit, and a trial separation may help her decide if the single life is what she really wants. Finally, to top it all off, I have spent all of my time either at work or at the office for so many years that I have very few friends and now am in the position of having to make new friends, which I think is a good idea in any event. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
rogueless Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 I may be wrong, but if physical contact with you makes her uncomfortable, I feel she is using you financially. Maybe in her mind she can tolerate sex with you twice a month to pay the bills. I do not think she is really keeping you there for the kids. She is either afraid to support herself or she wants her cake and eat it too. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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