Is this turning 40? When do you start reading the obituaries?

[bluechocolate]

Phew!

 

Is summer over yet? I've had dental work, parents visiting for a month, meeting up with friends in Italy, more dental work, friends visiting from Hong Kong, more dental work, my in-law's 50th wedding anniversary (you see people - it can happen!), more dental work and two 40th birthday parties. And with all the indulgent eating that's been going on, especially that week in Italy, I've probably put on 10kg. And that has to come off before MY 40th birthday party this December.

 

As I approach 40 many significant adults in my life are beginning to die & mortality becomes self-evident. Spending this time with my parents I can see that they (and I) are becoming old & are beginning to die. My mother recently lost her sister and my father, being the youngest of a large family has already lost two sisters and two have recently had strokes, one of whom is not expected to leave hospital. Three of these Aunts took care of me before I began school because both of my parents worked. I have pleasant memories of Aunty Rita's fudge & Aunt Marie making me laugh all the time. Aunty Angela would always be singing a song & you could tell when she was angry because she always sung "What a Friend we Have in Jesus". My mother's sister was Aunt Joan. We always went to her house for Christmas and me and my cousin Brenda would stuff ourselves stupid & feed all of the broccoli to the dog. Brenda was my best friend through all of my teens & we would spend half of our summers at each other's houses. Tragically she was killed in a car accident by a drunk who had lost his license to drive. Plus I've lost two very dear friends outside of my family in the past 5 years. And then just this week an email from Australia informing me of the death of my friends father & the death of an ex-neighbour & friend (he was only 44!). I suppose these memories are more acute for me because I live an ocean away & it seems that I see people once or twice in two or three years and then they are dead. How morbid. Cleary one should come from a small family, have fewer friends and stop seeing people.

 

I'm not worried about my mortality. Yet. Hell, I've got 40 more years before I'm 80. But when you're staring 80 in the face & you know this could be the last time that you see them & yet they seem so much like you. What do you say? And what are they thinking? Precious are few.

 

Aside from morbid thoughts of death, the garden flourishes. Despite reports of rain, this part of the country has escaped it & it's been very hot. The garden would flourish more with a bit of rain but the plants will just have to cope. It's either them or washig my clothes so I've cut down on the amount of plants in pots this year after the scorcher we had last year. They need it everyday & we always seem to be away, or me at then dentist!

[dudesomewhere]

are you saying getting your teeth worked on is a sign of aging or turning 40?

 

Hmm, I better take better care of my choppers

 

Did the relatives who raise you affect who you became? Do you think so? Do you believe you are a good person because of them? Do you believe you're a better person because of them? If so, that is all there is to say. Let them know that. Thank them for you...who you became.

 

You speak of a garden, I'm surprised you haven't REALLY looked at your garden. Life is like a garden so some say...and I believe it too . It is what you make of your garden. It is how you tend it and take care of it to shape its beauty. Keep all the weeds at bay so all the pretty flowers have their space to flourish in. Some people prefer the weeds...I don't know what that's all about...you can just look on some empty lot for weeds. A life without flowers is a garden without loved ones hmmm...or is it the loved ones in your life give the soil in your garden all the richness it needs to grow the flowers in your garden. Maybe that's what it is. The loving relatives in your life work invisibly in this garden. They shape who you are...they enrich your soil. They give you the seeds to plant the flowers your heart wishes...and the flowers in your garden are the friends in your life. A garden without flowers is a life without friendship. Some people have those fake flowers...yeah I don't buy those .

 

Regardless of it all you seem to have a wonderful garden full of beautiful flowers.

[bluechocolate]

are you saying getting your teeth worked on is a sign of aging or turning 40?

 

Hmm, I better take better care of my choppers

 

 

the thought did cross my mind.....

 

It's not that I'm sad. When we were quite young my mother taught us that grief was a selfish emotion. It is always about you. "I'M so sad.". "What am I going to do without so-and-so?". "What did they have to leave me?". That sort of thing. She told us to forget about ourselves and think of the subject of our grief. If it was someone that we loved & had happy times with they we can't fail to smile while we remember them.

 

I'm not really saying anything really.

 

Just reflecting on the amount of death that has been around in my life lately and the irony that this occurs as I approach my 40th.

[fredrolin]

I am 40 but I don't read the obits.

 

My 65 year old mother reads them regularly and informs me of any important deaths!!

[JumpRun]

It's a natural thing to do when you come to a particular point in your life.

[HokeyReligions]

People kept telling me that when I reached 40 I would start to fall apart. Well, I fooled them! I started falling apart when I was 38!

 

I'm well past 40 (*sigh*) and I have to sit on the side of the bed each morning while my various aches and pains all check in for the day.

 

I sound like a bowl of cerel when I stand up because of all the crunching in my knees (take care of those!) and yes, dental maintenance becomes more involved and more expensive! (Did you know that dropping an efferdent tablet in your toilet once a week will help eliminate stains and keep the toilet clean?)

 

I lean closer to the mirror now to put on makeup, and it's impossible for me to look in the mirror to try and see whatever it is I feel in my eye. I can't see without my glasses, but I can't get the tissue to my eye to get out the fallen eye-lash or dirt because my glasses are in the way.

 

I've lost some friends and family along the way, and as my 30 year high school reunion approaches (OMG! What the hell happened to the last 30 years!) I see the list of my fellow students who have passed away. The list is over two pages long NOT including the students I was with from Kindergarten on up, who died in Viet Nam!

 

Just remember: 40 isn't old if you're a tree!

[bluechocolate]

Just remember: 40 isn't old if you're a tree!

 

 

Funny thing is - despite all that moaning I was doing - I feel like I've been 40 for 20 years now! Like I've finally grown into my age.

 

And just had another bout at the dentist yesterday. I'm starting to get suspicious - like he's got a university fund for his kids or something!

[brashgal]

I read the obits every weekend - it actually helps me count my blessings. I find it interesting how people lived and what their loved ones opt to include in the obit. In our local paper they usually include a photo of the deceased, sometimes a current photo, sometimes one from their youth which I find rather endearing.