Bye. I have to go away from this place. I wanted you to know that it's over though.

[dyermaker]

It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

I would feel so much better if that said everyone, instead of 'most' everyone.

 

I felt like I was the exception that made the word neccesary. Now I feel like a ****ing statistic.

 

If you haven't read the story of my love, I don't have the heart to go fish it out. I don't want to read it again. I don't want to know that whoever wrote that post was me, that I felt that way. It was so perfect. And the thing that was perfect about it is that it was fine being imperfect. Nothing was certain, so long as one thing WAS certain.

 

I Loved.

 

It hurts to see that in the past tense, but I really did.

 

I would know if it was anything else, but that's what it was. It felt amazing. I want so desperately for it to be something else, so that I still have love to look forward to.

 

I love the idea of having a wife and kids, and I resent whomever I have to marry and have kids with--is it fair to her that I'll always remember this one? I know you think I'm just biased, but that's what I want. She's so beautiful. I say that having not seen her in such a long time. She's such an angel.

 

I wish she wasn't. I wish I hated her. I wish I had hurt her. I wish there was some reason this was happening, but there isn't.

 

In the end, she doesn't feel the same way about me as I had felt about her, and was sure she had felt about me. I feel so stupid.

 

The fact that she would rather keep it inside than talk to me was something that I knew was a problem, but if you knew her like I did you'd overlook it too. I wish I hadn't.

 

It's not that it's over.

 

I'm a big boy, I can deal with that.

 

It's that I have to go on.

 

It's that I have to remember this.

 

You know I can't listen to a Led Zeppelin song again? That music ****ing spoke to me, and you can't speak to me without knowing that I loved her.

 

You'd think because she's so far away, it would be easy for me to move on. It's not. She's so much a part of my life. She's my first thought waking up, she's my last before bed. She's what I see when I see a beautiful woman on the bus. She's what I see when I see little children, I want our children.

 

It's not going to be that way though. I'm going to marry someone else, I'm going to love someone else, I'm going to move on and heal. Say what you will though, I'll never be able to love like this again. I'll never be able to love like I've never been hurt, because now I've been hurt.

 

Thanks for reading. There's nothing you can say to me. There's nothing you can do to help. I regret almost every piece of advice I've ever given on this forum, because it's not just about words on a paper, people are human, and applying logic to this stuff doesn't help anyone at all. I can tell you exactly what I'd tell someone if I was responding to this post, and I'm sure I might see it from some people, hear it from my friends--it doesn't help. You can't know unless you're me, and that sounds so adolescent and cliche, but you've felt it before and you just don't remember, or you'll feel it again some day.

 

If I'm lucky, I'll never hear her voice again. I'll never hear it. Ugh, I can't type.

 

I'm embarrassed that whoever thought it wouldn't work out was right. That's embarassing, it just is. I wish no one knew. I wish it was my little secret, I wish I could compartmentalize everything. I wish I could just hurt without having to be so logical about it.

 

I'm leaving.

 

Thanks to all the friends I've made here. I'm truly grateful for everything everyone has taught me. I would stay if I could, but I cannot. I can't look at people's relationships the same now, I can't give advice knowing that there's a human behind each of these posts. In the end, I'm very sorry that I might be known more for being sarcastic than being helpful, but the least I could do is grow up a bit.

 

It hurts so bad, I wish you could know. It was so beautiful, and it still is. I wish I had ****ed up. I wish I could hate her. It's such a huge part of life.

 

So I said goodbye to all my friends and packed my hopes inside a matchbox, because I know it's time to fly.

[Kat]

Buddy don't go. We all post knowing there is a human behind each one of the nick names.

 

Without other people we would be alone.

 

You may have signed up after me, but compared to today's users, you are an oldie..don't let the old guys die off

[sinner]

I regret almost every piece of advice I've ever given on this forum, because it's not just about words on a paper, people are human, and applying logic to this stuff doesn't help anyone at all.

 

 

Well, dyer, I pray your broken heart mends soon. Grief over love lost is searing. I know.

 

And your right, my friend, there are limits to text. This message board format gives far too much sense, structure and rationality to the emotional chaos and hurly burly of human existence and emotions. There are limits to textual logic (among other things) when face-to-face with passionate love--and love lost.

 

For me, though, the text, the logic, the advice are secondary to the fact that there were strangers here who cared enough about me and my unremarkable life to reach out and offer their help. LS is about connection and caring, not content. There are many of us, here, who care about you, young man.

 

So take a LS break, lick your wounds, allow time and life to heal your broken heart. And, if you feel like it, come back. We're not going anywhere.

 

Now, I'll leave you with some lyrics from a song by your favorite band:

 

Been dazed and confused for so long it’s not true,

Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.

Lots of people talk and few of them know,

Soul of a woman was created below. yeah!

You hurt and abused tellin’ all of your lies,

Run around sweet baby, lord how they hypnotize.

Sweet little baby, I don’t know where you’ve been,

Gonna love you baby, here I come again.

 

Good luck.

[ladyangel]

WE love you. *hugs*

[Samson]

Dyer, good luck.................

 

In eulogy(?) I try to remember Dyer, and all I can think of is a young man who seems way ahead of his time: A "deep thinker," who is now suffering from his gift, but who also has the capacity to recover.

[moimeme]

Sweetheart, you can't go! Nobody else devotes so much time to the impassioned political and religous debates that you do, and the amount of research and thought you put into them is amazing. Stay for those alone! Your contributions are invaluable.

 

And don't ever think your advice on love was wrong or mistaken. It's just that people are people and they change (especially when they're in the growing process) and life is unpredictable at best. Don't toss all your beliefs because one person did not prove them true! That is always one's temptation, but don't do it. It's just humans are real, *real* complex and individuals may not respond the way we hope or expect. Listen, if you were old enough, you'd have Shack ladies aplenty lined up at your doorstep because of the way you approach relationships. If you recall, there was a stampede in your direction until you posted your age

 

The problem is that wonderful young men like you have all those great ideas, try them out on ladies, and, unfortunately, run into ladies who don't appreciate them enough. So the wonderful young men drop their ideals and beliefs. Some become cynical (Statler and Waldorf are two prime examples of that). Rather than deciding that the particular ladies were in error, they decide that their ways of behaving and believing were wrong. That is such a mistake!!!! It's just that theories and models never apply to everyone. No worthwhile scientist jettisons an experiment because of a few errors in the sample; the problem has to be statistically significant. Abandoning one's whole philosophy because it didn't apply to one - or even a few - would be a tragic mistake!!

 

If you can manage to hang on to those same ideals, you will make someone a fabulous husband some day. The trick, dear Dyer, is figuring out how to find someone worthy of you. That someone will the the one who loves those qualities in you. Never stop until you find her - and, sadly, it may take a long time. But when you do, it will be worth everything, including this sad event.

 

I'm embarrassed that whoever thought it wouldn't work out was right

 

It's not that people thought it wouldn't work out; it's that all of us have been exactly as you were - totally immersed in hope and faith. And every single one of us has been crushed at least once. It's one of the sad facts of life that we all are stuck with accepting. People tried to say to you that the odds say that, hateful as it is, it would likely happen to you, too. It was only predicting probabilities, Dyer - nothing at all to do with you or with how you thought or felt. It's just damn life.

 

[color=blue]((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))[/color]

[Mr Spock]

Time really does heal all wounds Dyer. Catch you on the flip side.

[meanon]

Dyer, I'm so sorry

I'll never be able to love like I've never been hurt, because now I've been hurt.

 

Love is precious. When you've lost it you appreciate it even more when you feel it again. Yes, it will be different but that's no bad thing.

 

You are a special person Dyer, you've given much to the Shack. You are right, the people who post are often suffering more than we can ever appreciate. Many do find help here, sometimes it's alternative viewpoints (the logical approach) and sometimes it's compassion and support.

 

I wish you all the best in life Dyer and hope to see you here again one day.

[Matilda]

I know I'm relatively new here, but I sure would hate to see you leave. You're one of the people that makes this board interesting. I know it doesn't mean much right now, but time does heal all wounds.

 

Take care.

[sinner]

So the wonderful young men drop their ideals and beliefs. Some become cynical (Statler and Waldorf are two prime examples of that).

 

Hey, Samson, are you Statler or Waldorf? I want to be Waldorf! Please!!!

[UCFKevin]

Are you out of your mind?!?

 

You're LEAVING this place when you need it the most?

 

C'mon, man. THis place is what it is because of you. Well, not just you, but you certainly help.

 

I know you don't want to hear this but you're young. In years, you'll look back and think of how you felt and realize how off you were, and you'll find someone who you'll be even MORE nuts about, and you won't have to feel guilty about the whole "what if" factor regarding this girl.

 

Life goes on. You know that. Now just stick around and spend it with your buddies.

 

If all else fails, you know how to find me otherwise. I'll always be there for you. Never forget that.

[brashgal]

There is nothing to be embarrassed about Dyer, you've done nothing wrong. You didn't make any mistakes. You loved someone and they loved you. And then they stopped and you didn't. It happens to the best, and the worst, and most of us. I know that is little comfort.

 

I feel for you.

[dyermaker]

I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm being all adolescent and storming out because I feel embarrassed about heartbreak. It's that I don't want to be reminded of everything I had.

 

I'm trying to get her back. I know that's a bad idea, and I know I might have told myself to forget about it and move on, but I'm ignoring that right now.

 

A huge thank you to everyone who posted, pm'ed, im'ed or however, I wish I could say it makes it easier, but at least it makes it healthier.

 

If you can manage to hang on to those same ideals, you will make someone a fabulous husband some day.

[pitprincess]

Hey there sweets

I know that I have read many things that you have wrote about on this forum.

The one thing you have to remember that words are words and advice is advice. There is a pulse and heart behind every post on this forum.

 

You give your advice to others in hope of helping someone think in a different manner just like we all do.

Everyone isn't the same, never will be. BUT With out folks like us what helps ease the pain that someone else is going through?

 

Your not out of your mind doing what your doing. Love does many things to you.

 

Offering advice to help mend the hurt or help you move on is what most are here for but for some... we read postings and feel as if we all know one another from this forum so I ask of you Please don't go.

Your in a time of need where you need someone to talk to. Advice is free. Friendship is free.

 

When you hurt inside(AND YOU ARE) you can't just turn away from the ones who care about you.

YOU ARE MORE THEN JUST A POSTING NAME ON A FORUM!

 

If you love her and your heart is telling you to do this, then you do what your heart is telling you to do.

 

How can you go wrong when you know what your heart is telling you to do???

 

I hope that your back here because I know you have helped me in the past... I hope you help me again when I am in need of it.

 

If you need a friend just to talk [we] will be glad to listen. :)

Please don't go...

[DerangedAngel]

I'm trying to get her back. I know that's a bad idea, and I know I might have told myself to forget about it and move on, but I'm ignoring that right now.

 

I wish you the best of luck, d. I so hope things work out between the two of you. I know you really care for her.

 

If you need anything, you know how to get in touch with [us]

 

-Deranged

[EC]

It's not going to be that way though. I'm going to marry someone else, I'm going to love someone else, I'm going to move on and heal. Say what you will though, I'll never be able to love like this again. I'll never be able to love like I've never been hurt, because now I've been hurt.

 

Wow..I remember saying those exact words one day in the middle of a heartbreak breakdown.

 

Time really does heal all though and I know you'll be ok in a while even if you don't think so.

 

Don't leave forever, come back and pop in for a hello.

 

Good luck!

[morrigan]

Dyermaker, I hope things turn out well for you.

[Bronzepen]

Originally posted by dyermaker

 

I felt like I was the exception that made the word neccesary. Now I feel like a ****ing statistic.

 

[/i]

 

 

Dyer, you not a statistic, your part of a club now.

 

Welcome to the broken hearts club.

 

Just ride it out. It's a tough ride but you will make it.

[Donna1975]

Hi Dyer,

I am new to this site and I just ready your post. It seems such a shame that someone as loving and sensitive as you has to go through so much pain. I hope you don't leave. I would love the chance to get to know you better. Good luck!

[quankanne]

Ah, dyer, there are so many things going through my head since having read your original post. there's no way to address them all, but in a nutshell here are the things I've found to be the most important when it comes to loving:

 

Never give up, never lose your capacity to love. Sometimes you'll feel foolish for trusting or believing, but that's okay, because when you let yourself love, you're giving the world something special. Not everyone has that capacity, you know? So love without abandon, even if it leaves you bruised and raw -- you're a better person for being a lover ...

 

As hard as it is to deal with what's going on in your love life right now, there is a purpose for the pain you're feeling. Think of it as a sort of tempering, as a means of finely honing your capacity to love.

 

Last (and this is my personal belief), know that every love relationship you experience brings you ever closer to the love you're meant to have. It might not be the person you had hoped it to be -- or it might BE her -- but you've got to go through those experiences to grow your heart, sí? So that when you *do* end up with the one you're meant to be with, you'll look back and see how your journey had to go the way it did for you to be where you're meant to be.

 

So as you go through this heartache, and as you try to make things work between you and her, don't give up on being that man who is capable of love.

 

a big hug to ya, buddy ...

 

unless of course, you're underaged and I could get in trouble with the law. Then it's a big pat on the back !

[meanon]

It doesn't matter if it's a bad idea, dyer. It's something you have to do, that's what's important. quank is spot on. At any age, when we love someone AND when we lose someone, we learn things about life and ourselves.

A huge thank you to everyone who posted, pm'ed, im'ed or however, I wish I could say it makes it easier, but at least it makes it healthier.

 

Sometimes we can not be comforted but talking about it really is healthy and helpful. Please do keep doing that, dyer. That's what friends are for

[CaterpillarGirl]

Dyer,

 

You're right. You will never love again as you have loved. You lost that innocence. You can mourn for that if you want, but don't for one second believe that any other love is imperfect. Love in itself is enough, no matter when or how it arrives.

 

I know how you feel about the advice you have given. I feel that way, too. All the time when I've written others, I was secure in my love, secure in my relationship. When that was taken away, suddenly I was scared to give advice again. Unsteady in my reasoning, and afraid that my advice could lead others into pain. But it's the experience that gives you more strength, more reason to help others cope with their heartbreak and loss, or to avoid it.

 

Dyer, meanon's right. Do what you need to do for you. But you shouldn't leave LS because of the memories. Change it into a place for you to mourn, to heal, to live and share with us.

 

Good luck, kiddo.

 

-CG

[honey2005]

I ran across Love Shack when I was in the middle of a devastating breakup. I lost someone very close to me, someone I thought was the most kind person in the world. It turned out that I was wrong but I didn't know how I could go on without the person I loved, even though I now knew they had never existed. When I read that you were leaving I was heartbroken. The advice you have given on LS has helped me so much, even if it wasn't directed to me. I wanted to post and ask you not to go. I wanted to be able to help you when you needed it, the way you helped others when they were in pain. I didn't feel like I had the right to ask you to stay, though, I barely even know you. Reading over the previous posts I see that the image I drew of you was right, you are a wonderful guy and the fact that you put so much thought into the advice you gave people shows you that you are very caring. Almost everyone on here has been hurt at least once. You were there for us when we were lost, confused and in pain, now it's time for us to be there for you. I know you don't believe it now, but time really does heal a broken heart. I hope things work out for you, but if they don't, remember you can always come back here and we'll all be more than willing to listen and help in any way we can.

[moimeme]

Never give up, never lose your capacity to love. Sometimes you'll feel foolish for trusting or believing, but that's okay, because when you let yourself love, you're giving the world something special. Not everyone has that capacity, you know? So love without abandon, even if it leaves you bruised and raw -- you're a better person for being a lover

 

I wanted to highlight Quank's words. She's right - and all of us need a reminder of it every now and then. I did!

[dyermaker]

I talked to her today online.

 

I was waiting for her to contact me, but was afraid that would never happen. I said her name, and she immediately did the smiling thing, so I felt a little bit better. Next, I told her that I think we've made a big mistake. She says, "I know you do", which was not what I wanted to hear at all. I think it translates to, "Well I don't".

 

I have no idea what compelled me to go on at this point, but I did. I asked her if what happened was supposed to happen. She says, "Sometimes I think it was a mistake to. Sometimes I don't. The thing is, I still Love you, but I don't know if I can do this."

 

Then she gets all frustrated because her sister just got home and they have to go to set things up for fair, which starts wednesday. She says that we'll have to talk another time, and it might be a while until then, and she doesn't want me to think I'm being blown off.

 

She says she's sorry, and she has to go. I don't know what to say at this point. She asks me if I'm still there, and I say yes, but I wish she'd say something. She says she doesn't know if she should say anything. I ask her to say whatever it is, and she says she loves me. Then she goes.

 

I'm not knowing what to think, what to say next, what to do--how do I go about fixing things?