jojoqueen Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 how long does it take? I feel like I cant control my own emotions. I go from screaming rage to indifference. I don't know if this is normal? Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Standard stuff you'll read says 2-5 years. Not to speak for them, but what I see around here with reconciled spouses shows me that things seem to turn a corner around the third to fourth years. First year is shock and discovery. Second is anger. Third is recovery. But ultimately I think it has everything to do with the wayward spouse and whether or not they are truly remorseful (transparent, vulnerable, etc). If they aren't, you could suffer forever. One guy here is still plagued by his wife's infidelity and it was 20 years ago. I also think that it takes a remarkably forgiving person to ultimately put it behind them. Many make the attempt but learn later (once the shock has worn off) that infidelity really was a dealbreaker for them. I don't think you should pressure yourself to commit one way or another until you are truly ready. Which camp do you think you are in? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MsDecember Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I tried to reconcile with my Ex. It couldn't work, as he couldn't stop cheating. So my healing might be a different story than yours. But It's been close to 2 years and I still fall apart. I still have days with endless tears and feel sorry for myself moments. I just think back on memories and it's enough to make a great day into a sad day. BUT, Time does heal wounds. With the bad days, I also have good days, and great days. I have had great weeks and months. Every once in a while I have a really sh**** day, but it really does get better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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