dasein Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 This is a tough situation, I have taken the more reasonable route many times, and then have found out more was going on. Once my GF had "car trouble" in an area of town where she had no stated reason to be. She called me, but hadn't thought things out. I told her would be there in 30 minutes to get her and she got adamant about me not doing that. Turns out her car was stalled in the driveway of the guy she was cheating with who had gone to work, which is why she didn't want me to get her. She also had late night dinners with elderly, infirm family who in all likelihood didn't often eat out at 9:30. She admitted these things in the aftermath. In your case OP, I'd probably have definitely gone there and surveilled were it not so far away. As far as it was though, you probably did the right thing, and can see what happens next. I hope it was that he wanted to do something with buddies, was tired and wante alone time, or some other thing as opposed to being cheating. Keep your eyes open though. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Cb3657 Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Ok respect everyone who has a different opinion but me I only worry about how my actions reflect on me to me,I may not care if he thinks Im nuts, But i would feel degraded and loopy following someone around to try to catch them cheating. I know and understand that sometimes it the "catch them" is he only way to be sure, but really I would save this as the very last resort and even then i would use a VAR or gps tracker. As others have pointed out there is no good outcomes either he spots her while doing nothing and and she is humiliated feeling like a stalker or she catches him and gets a kick in the teeth and a long drive home to think about it. I also feel like I should continue to point out that he may just want some alone time and doesn't want to hurt her feelings no need to jump to worst possible outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Pinknlatn Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Oh lorrrdddyyy my previous post got some sensitive people butt hurt!!! Lol meooooowww So here's the deal bryanna. Go and spy on this guy and waste your money, time and possibly risk your health and/or life if the weather is truely that bad. I mean...have you seen what happened in Texas.....god bless those people. Do it. Follow him from his job all the way home. Let your feelings run loose and emotions take over. What will you gain when you find out he's cheating? Sounds to me like you'd be at a huge loss. Financially and emotionally. I mean come on, there's soo many guys out there. For you to allow yourself to go to such extremes for someone who you don't even trust....youre disrespecting yourself. If you have a bad feeling, if you don't trust him, then listen to that intuition and end it. Because seriously... What good is this doing for you? Like I said. Stop. Think about your actions. Don't waste time on people that dont deserve you. But, like a lot of girls I know, you'll probably stay with the guy a few more months before realizing he's a douche (and please try not to get pregnant) you should NEVER ignore your intuition. But wait! Maybe he's THE ONE!!.....Omg what if!! Lol Some listen, some need to experience. Either way, let us know!!!! My curiousity is peaked!!!! :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Trixis4kidz Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Yes, he's cheating on you. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) I did not go up there last weekend. BUT I heard today he took a woman from his office ( I've never liked her) out to eat, he asked HER, I sent him a text that said hope you had fun at ()$&&&&. That was it, I've not called or text again. Spool, 5 hours later I get a text saying there were 3 people. I did not and will not respond. I am so angry and a whole ship load I'd confused feelings. I have always had issues with this woman. I've never liked her and we've had many an argument overhear. He did not even have enough respect to call me, he knew I would be furious! I am not talking to him right now I'm to pissed off. Edited December 1, 2012 by Bryanna Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) Yes I do agree. I deserve better. I'm so hurt, it unraveled so fast. THanksgiving Day all was fine. I have loved this man a long time. In the span of a week it all fell apart. I am numb, I cry then get angry. Thanksgiving Day we were looking on line at houses! I am reeling right now. How could he tell me he loves me, be planning a future? Then in one phone call, my antenne shot up and bam, it's all been a lie. I feel destroyed inside right now. I hurt so much, and the humiliation! What a fool I must look. My feelings are all over the map right now. But the hurt is unbearable. But I know I never deserved this! What a heartless bastard! I will never take a call from him, respond to a text, nothing! It feels like a death, in someways worse. I doubt he will even care, but I will not be treated like a doormat-ever! I wish and hope it eats him inside a bit, but I doubt it. Edited December 1, 2012 by Bryanna Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 I was never beating a dead horse. Up to 10 days ago, all was fine. My head and heart are spinning right now. But this relationship is OVER. I am not a fool, there is absolutely nothing he can say or do to change my mind, hence no need to take a call or communicate in any way. I hope that hurts him, I wil never know, it's obvious I was a joke to him, but I hope to heck it hurts him some what. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 So sorry to hear it. Did he take her out on the day he was telling you to not visit? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 I really don't know. He was with her on Thursday for sure. So I sent him a text and said 'hope you had fun at ($$&'. He sent me a text back saying it was three people (it wasn't) and being all defensive and blah blah. I have not and will not respnod again. He's working today, so I doubt he will call till later, but it doesn't matter. I am so hurt. I have a constant lump in my throat, I feel so incredibly betrayed! He knows how I felt about that woman. What a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Has he contacted you to try to smooth it over yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 Yes. He texed me today, saying his job is in chaos (I know it is) he is stressed and tired of drama, long story about his work issues. I was not bitchy, so I texed back 'yes, I know. I'm tired of it too'. He said he loved me, and he would call me later. I did not respond. He obviously has plans today and if he wanted to 'smooth' it over he would have called me. I will not be answering when he calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 3, 2012 Author Share Posted December 3, 2012 Not as easy as I thought it would be to NOT answer. Its hard. I have cried on and off all weekend, I cant sleep, I can't eat. Im so mixed up, I get mad, then so down, I will start bawling, then the cycle all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 You poor thing. Yep, that is what love does to you; not being able to eat, sleep, and feeling like someone has died. What your going through is terrible, and totally undeserved. However, all you can do is just accept the short term pain, and go no contact with him. Going no contact is the best option, thousands of people here follow the no contact guide because it is the FASTEST way to get over your ex. He should not let you feel like this if he really, truly loves you. Instead, he should be comforting you at this time, when you think he has been cheating with that b*tch of a co worker. And yes, the women in the picture is a b*tch too, with no integrity. Quality, genuinely nice women do not get with other peoples boyfriends. However, there is a chance he has plaid it off to her that he IS single, in which case she thinks she is going for a SINGLE man.... In summary: yes, the relationship is over due to his lack of honest communication to you, and the fact he has not profusely declared his love to you and ASSURED you that you are the only women for him... If I was a crying mess and honestly thought my boyfriend was cheating, he would bend over backwards to tell me how I am the only girl for him, and that there is no way he would want anyone else. This guy lied, and then did not attempt to make great efforts to comfort you about how your feeling about it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 You should really get into the break up forum, and make a thread.. It is darn HARD to not reply to his texts! Heck, there is some chick in there who has taken FIVE YEARS to stop responding to a guy that is no good for her! PLEASE use the breakup section of this website as a resource to you; whenever your tempted to answer his texts, POST THERE instead. There is actually a thread that is titled " post HERE Instead of contacting your ex" Go THERE. Your'll probably need to. Good luck, remember you did not deserve any of this! This jerk should have had the decency to TELL you that he was taking other girls out! He should have let you go and find a guy that is crazy about you and would never want to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bryanna Posted December 6, 2012 Author Share Posted December 6, 2012 I am sick, I did respond to a text, I told him I was going to resign my job and move back to Florida. He text me "well we sure have some good memories" and that was it. I expected at least a phone call! 2 1/2 years! And that was it. I did not resign, however I dis volunteer to go assist with inventory in Florida at a newer store. I will be gone a few months. But I'm Stunned, cold stone stunned. In Two short weeks - over. Link to post Share on other sites
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