NC 6 days...

[Mount]

It has been completely NC for 6 days. I guess, WWI & Pierre, you guys will be happy for me then .

 

The reason that we are able to no contact is because he in away from the city with wife on vacation now. As I posted last time, we were able to get together a few times last week, even I stopped by his house for merely 15 mintues last last weekend. But I tried to nitpicked him and then caused big fights with him last week; also I was so mad that the last day after we did shopping and he sent me home he would not help me take my stuff up as he intended to rush home to avoid the suspicion from wife wondering where he was.

 

Again I expressed my angriness via txt msg and he replied me back saying he is not going to take up "verbal abuse" and I replied with agreeing ending it with him.

 

Since then we don't contact each other anymore, I guess the distance really helps and finally it is the break-through point.

 

Emotion-wise, interesting that I am not in bad mood at all, a bit disappointing yes, but I feel fine.

[2sunny]

Good Mount!

 

Stay strong- especially when he returns!

[Mount]

Exactly. People go weak only when their emotion get up and down. As I said this time I did not feel sad - guess I knew this time I will not throw myself back to him, neither he would send txt to me first. So that is that, DONE time, I suppose.

 

Interestingly I feel somehow indifferent, not sure it is normal though.

 

 

Good Mount!

 

Stay strong- especially when he returns!

[2sunny]

Think of it this way - whatever YOU spend YOUR time and energy on - is bound to grow bigger.

 

IF you ignore something - someone - long enough... It tends to leave your mind faster!

 

Soooo, ignore him while focusing YOUR time and energy on things that are new and make you happy - and meanwhile keep you so busy you don't have time to even think of him!

[whichwayisup]

It has been completely NC for 6 days. I guess, WWI & Pierre, you guys will be happy for me then .

 

The reason that we are able to no contact is because he in away from the city with wife on vacation now. As I posted last time, we were able to get together a few times last week, even I stopped by his house for merely 15 mintues last last weekend. But I tried to nitpicked him and then caused big fights with him last week; also I was so mad that the last day after we did shopping and he sent me home he would not help me take my stuff up as he intended to rush home to avoid the suspicion from wife wondering where he was.

 

Again I expressed my angriness via txt msg and he replied me back saying he is not going to take up "verbal abuse" and I replied with agreeing ending it with him.

 

Since then we don't contact each other anymore, I guess the distance really helps and finally it is the break-through point.

 

Emotion-wise, interesting that I am not in bad mood at all, a bit disappointing yes, but I feel fine.

 

You don't know for sure until he comes back. Right now he's busy with his wife and family so it's easy for him to do NC. You wait a few more weeks and see if NC sticks.

 

Just don't you be the one to break it, otherwise you're back at square one Mount. You broke up with him and implimented NC, you must stick to it no matter what!

 

Are you truly done with him and the affair? Or is it only a matter of time before you soften and change your tune, miss him and reach out or accept a call/text from him. One of you will break NC, that's been the theme for quite a while. Sorry, don't mean that harshly, just stating what is.

 

You want it over and him out of your life? BE TOUGH on yourself and don't give into temptation. Break him like a bad habit and really focus on grieving the loss. Making it final.

[Mount]

Guess last week I have already shown him I am a "monster", to scare him off :laugh::laugh:, so hopefully he wouldn't want me be his side dish anymore.

 

 

 

You don't know for sure until he comes back. Right now he's busy with his wife and family so it's easy for him to do NC. You wait a few more weeks and see if NC sticks.

 

Just don't you be the one to break it, otherwise you're back at square one Mount. You broke up with him and implimented NC, you must stick to it no matter what!

 

Are you truly done with him and the affair? Or is it only a matter of time before you soften and change your tune, miss him and reach out or accept a call/text from him. One of you will break NC, that's been the theme for quite a while. Sorry, don't mean that harshly, just stating what is.

 

You want it over and him out of your life? BE TOUGH on yourself and don't give into temptation. Break him like a bad habit and really focus on grieving the loss. Making it final.

[veryhappy]

To stay positive here, you ended the A with the shopping trip, so good for you. Hope he paid.

[2sunny]

Expect when he returns for him to spend an enormous amount of energy trying you bump you back into being his OW!

 

Have a plan in place that blocks him!

 

Have you blocked any and all ways for him to contact you?

[Mount]

We work for same organization. He stated that he could not take my "verbal abuse" anymore thus only want to maintain work extent relationship, which for me I totally agree. That is why we are NC so far.

 

Expect when he returns for him to spend an enormous amount of energy trying you bump you back into being his OW!

 

Have a plan in place that blocks him!

 

Have you blocked any and all ways for him to contact you?

[2sunny]

Mount - get another job ASAP!

[Mount]

For that matter I had repeated million times, that I won't. Not fair for me to have loss like that. Hope everyone here not suggesting that anymore.

 

Mount - get another job ASAP!

[whichwayisup]

Then you need to work really hard on pushing out of your heart for good and ignore him at work and ONLY speak and look at him about work related issues. No "hey, how are you" or anything. Strictly business, no personal chit chat at all. If he asks how you are, don't answer just walk away.

 

People are suggesting you find another job so YOU won't have to deal with this on a daily basis at work. I mean, is he in your head throughout the day? or are you able to completely focus on work and not have him in your thoughts at all.

 

Stay strong and do the NC. It's up to you at the end of the day on how this all turns out. You have that power!

[2sunny]

For that matter I had repeated million times, that I won't. Not fair for me to have loss like that. Hope everyone here not suggesting that anymore.

 

Why not? It is something you CAN control!

 

It's a job - and you can find another one IF you intend to have a happy life for yourself!

 

Change is good Mount - it brings new hope that things can get better.

[2sunny]

We work for same organization. He stated that he could not take my "verbal abuse" anymore thus only want to maintain work extent relationship, which for me I totally agree. That is why we are NC so far.

 

You're NC because he's off on vacay having a glorious time with his wife!

 

When he returns - he's likely to focus on bumping you back into the OW slot as soon as he can!

 

Believe me - he will pull out all the stops to get you there!

 

Best way is to never have to see or hear from him ever again!

[Mount]

Pls, no more why not. Drop the changing job topic AT ALL, and switch to other point if you have though. Otherwise, no comment is fine as well.

 

Why not? It is something you CAN control!

 

It's a job - and you can find another one IF you intend to have a happy life for yourself!

 

Change is good Mount - it brings new hope that things can get better.

[2sunny]

Good luck Mount.

 

You started a whole thread about tying to do NC with someone you're having an affair with - and got many answers (most) telling you to quit IF you intend to end the A.

 

You refuted all answers.

 

I don't think you really intend to end it!

 

If you did - you would DO ANYHING to get away from him and his toxic self!

Edited November 24, 2012 by 2sunny

[Mount]

Glad that you have such practical thoughts...:p:p. Unfortunately we just paid ourselves' household needs respectively.

 

Again, my financial well-being is very good as well.

 

To stay positive here, you ended the A with the shopping trip, so good for you. Hope he paid.

[Ladydrib]

It has been completely NC for 6 days. I guess, WWI & Pierre, you guys will be happy for me then .

 

The reason that we are able to no contact is because he in away from the city with wife on vacation now. As I posted last time, we were able to get together a few times last week, even I stopped by his house for merely 15 mintues last last weekend. But I tried to nitpicked him and then caused big fights with him last week; also I was so mad that the last day after we did shopping and he sent me home he would not help me take my stuff up as he intended to rush home to avoid the suspicion from wife wondering where he was.

 

Again I expressed my angriness via txt msg and he replied me back saying he is not going to take up "verbal abuse" and I replied with agreeing ending it with him.

 

Since then we don't contact each other anymore, I guess the distance really helps and finally it is the break-through point.

 

Emotion-wise, interesting that I am not in bad mood at all, a bit disappointing yes, but I feel fine.

 

I'm glad you feel fine. Those moments provide much needed strength, clarity, and hope. Expect your mood will fall again but when it does stay focused and strong until you get through to the next time you feel fine.

 

Reading your post, this man just angers me! How dare he say he's not going to take verbal abuse! He thinks he can just spread abuse all around to both you and his wife but the second anyone tries to stand up to him he is so self centered that he has the nerve to think he is totally innocent and deserves respect??? Be so happy you are done with this man. And stick to it. You know he doesn't believe you are done. Speaking from his perspective (which is a very backwards perspective) He is just happy to get you off of his back and take a nice little trip with his wife and let you settle down and then he can come back and use you again when you are offering fun or pleasantness rather than "emotional abuse". Well Mount, don't be there for him when he expects you to be!!! Don't stop being angry. Do not let his twisted perspective convince you that you should accept this behavior. Be done with it. Forever.

[Ladydrib]

Guess last week I have already shown him I am a "monster", to scare him off :laugh::laugh:, so hopefully he wouldn't want me be his side dish anymore.

 

He doesn't think you're a monster. He's just trying to make you behave like a good little mistress and he training you not to talk back to him. He's managing down your expectations. Do NOT let him. See through it, you did nothing wrong by being mouthy to him. You are not a monster. You are a woman who is not going to take his abuse anymore. You are a woman who is not going to let him use you. You are a woman who has moved beyond this toxic and damaging situation.

 

Keep up the good work.

[Ladydrib]

For that matter I had repeated million times, that I won't. Not fair for me to have loss like that. Hope everyone here not suggesting that anymore.

 

I look at it as a gain. Maybe you'll find a job that you like better and pays more. You won't know unless you try. But this is the first I've seen that you don't want to change jobs, so I won't mention it again.

[Mount]

We ended/broken up via txt on the day before he went vac, so if we ended there has no point to exchange communication anymore.

 

And quite opposite to what you said below, if he dares to approach to me with personal request/matter I will use telling wife to scare him off.

 

Why do you have the impression or in your circle that women are that desperate? Sounds shallow, but I will not do anything not beneficial myself.

 

 

 

Yes, he is busy with his wife right now. He doesn't have time for you.

 

I believe Mount will resume the affair once he gets back from his vacation with his wife. I think she is pouting and caused fights in order to hopefully get him to not want to go on vacation or to try to ruin his vacation. His lack of communication to me says he is enjoying his wife and has no need to get validation from his side girl right now. I suspect that once he is back, Mount will 'accidently' bump into him at work and ensure he addresses her or makes her presence known ... possibly even threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't start communicating again.

 

From reading Mount's story, I don't think she has any desire to end the affair at this time.

[Lostinlife4now]

Good work Mount....

 

From my experience, Indifference can be a "Beautiful Thing"!

 

The summer vacations with the wife and family really use to piss me off. During his vacas I started to really resent him and the situation. But whatever got me to the land of indifference I am here and it feels good!

 

Now I think he is a "JOKE"! ......

 

Hang in there, you are doing just fine.

 

Lost.........

[Mount]

The difference was, after previous so-called NC, the next day we started to communicate right away (via txt...etc) even though we both said we would end it, now it has been 8 days no contact at all after the determination that I am really done this time.

 

And I don't feel sad, a bit down yes but mostly indifferent. I am busy in my errands, stuff so far.

 

None of my girlfriends are desperate ..... I was going off what I read here.

 

You yourself have ended with MM how many times? What makes this time different?

[TheOW]

Be honest with yourself - you are not finishing it, you are playing games in the hope he comes running back! He might just mean it this time and HE may be the one looking for another job/transfer.

 

What would you do then ?

[Mount]

Oh...yes, I am pretty sure it is done now.

 

Again, as I said, I feel indifferent....although I do feel a bit down - not elated of course.

 

But CERTAINLY I do not feel sad, bad....etc. Spirit wise, I can not afford he runs back or I throw myself to him anymore, it is too exhausted.

 

Although we did have plan for the upcoming holiday season, but I guess it is what it is, I will peacefull spend my holiday alone, or whatever, but certainly not involved with him anymore.:rolleyes:

 

 

 

Be honest with yourself - you are not finishing it, you are playing games in the hope he comes running back! He might just mean it this time and HE may be the one looking for another job/transfer.

 

What would you do then ?