NC 6 days...

[Artie Lang]

Why do you have the impression or in your circle that women are that desperate? Sounds shallow, but I will not do anything not beneficial myself.

 

because if i remember correctly, you're the one who busted-in at a party and confronted him and his wife, right then & there. sounds like desperation to me.

 

i'm not here to bash you, and i'm glad you're making some progress, i guess. i just don't think this situation is over.....not by a long shot.

Edited November 26, 2012 by Artie Lang

[Mount]

:eek::eek::eek::eek: What are you talking about? What fairytale are you talking about?

 

Can you at least remember some posts here then repsond? Please! Replying post with other people's experience, that is ridiculous.

 

No one knows the A at all. I have too much facade outside.

 

 

because if i remember correctly, you're the one who busted-in at a party and confronted him and his wife, right then & there. sounds like desperation to me.

 

i'm not here to bash you, and i'm glad you're making some progress, i guess. i just don't think this situation is over.....not by a long shot.

Edited November 26, 2012 by Mount

[Artie Lang]

hahaha.

 

wrong person, i guess. no need to get your panties in a bunch.

 

 

nice dig, LFH. bet you were waiting for that all year.

 

HILARIOUS!

Edited November 26, 2012 by Artie Lang

[Mount]

That is rude. Pls get off the chain of post you have nothing to contribute, only false memories while attacking using other people's story.

 

hahaha.

 

wrong person, i guess. no need to get your panties in a bunch.

 

 

nice dig, LFH. bet you were waiting for that all year.

 

HILARIOUS!

Edited November 26, 2012 by Mount

[Tenacity]

hahaha.

 

wrong person, i guess. no need to get your panties in a bunch.

 

 

nice dig, LFH. bet you were waiting for that all year.

 

HILARIOUS!

 

Yes... an apology would have been nice, instead of a smart-a** comment.

 

But we must consider the source.

 

Just ignore him Mount. It's not worth the effort.

[Mount]

Thanks Tenacity and LFH:love::love::bunny::bunny:

 

Yes... an apology would have been nice, instead of a smart-a** comment.

 

But we must consider the source.

 

Just ignore him Mount. It's not worth the effort.

[2sunny]

Oh...yes, I am pretty sure it is done now.

 

Again, as I said, I feel indifferent....although I do feel a bit down - not elated of course.

 

But CERTAINLY I do not feel sad, bad....etc. Spirit wise, I can not afford he runs back or I throw myself to him anymore, it is too exhausted.

 

Although we did have plan for the upcoming holiday season, but I guess it is what it is, I will peacefull spend my holiday alone, or whatever, but certainly not involved with him anymore.:rolleyes:

 

Being "pretty sure" is much different than knowing its completely over!

 

It's your call - you are the only one that will ALLOW it to start again.

 

Choose wisely.

[frozensprouts]

even if you can't switch jobs, you can still move forward...besides, if he wants to contact you, he'd find a way, work or not...

 

you can do it...do you have a plan in place for what you will do if he tries to contact you? that way, if he tries, you won't be flustered and panic...you'll be able to be strong and resolute...

 

have you bee through a break up before? if so, what helped you get through it? do you think any of those strategies can be helpful to you now?

 

just take things one day at a time...everyday that you make it through without speaking with him or being in contact with him, treat yourself to a little something special...

[Mount]

Yes, I think I can move forward.. It has been 9 days and I am very fine, again because I am indifferent.

 

At work even we might need to have emails here or there, I won't lift my eyebrow as I don't have that butterflyer feeling anymore.

 

I am easy to look through people, especially when the rosy fog is gone. Yes I had been through break-up, me left the relationshop with EX, his begging, pleading...etc, I never responded finally that guy was gone.

 

When I determine to do sth, it can always be done.

 

even if you can't switch jobs, you can still move forward...besides, if he wants to contact you, he'd find a way, work or not...

 

you can do it...do you have a plan in place for what you will do if he tries to contact you? that way, if he tries, you won't be flustered and panic...you'll be able to be strong and resolute...

 

have you bee through a break up before? if so, what helped you get through it? do you think any of those strategies can be helpful to you now?

 

just take things one day at a time...everyday that you make it through without speaking with him or being in contact with him, treat yourself to a little something special...

[Henni]

Yes, he is busy with his wife right now. He doesn't have time for you.

 

I believe Mount will resume the affair once he gets back from his vacation with his wife. I think she is pouting and caused fights in order to hopefully get him to not want to go on vacation or to try to ruin his vacation. His lack of communication to me says he is enjoying his wife and has no need to get validation from his side girl right now. I suspect that once he is back, Mount will 'accidently' bump into him at work and ensure he addresses her or makes her presence known ... possibly even threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't start communicating again.

 

From reading Mount's story, I don't think she has any desire to end the affair at this time.

 

More gazing into the crystal ball here. Nobody outside your situation knows what will happen. I predict that this poster i've quoted above will poo-poo the next person who posts that they are indifferent and feel done with the affair too. That's coz I'm all insightful like that.

 

Mount, it sounds like you've found some stability, hold onto it. It's great that you're not feeling sad, it sounds like you've gone off him, lost respect for him, this is good. As your respect for him fades your respect for yourself grows. Believe in yourself and don't get side tracked by anyone else's issues.

[Mount]

Hi Henni - I think you nail it, that why I feel indifferent this time, not like last few times I was feeling sad, so attached to MM....etc etc.

 

 

More gazing into the crystal ball here. Nobody outside your situation knows what will happen. I predict that this poster i've quoted above will poo-poo the next person who posts that they are indifferent and feel done with the affair too. That's coz I'm all insightful like that.

 

Mount, it sounds like you've found some stability, hold onto it. It's great that you're not feeling sad, it sounds like you've gone off him, lost respect for him, this is good. As your respect for him fades your respect for yourself grows. Believe in yourself and don't get side tracked by anyone else's issues.

[Mount]

Today still in NC mode, but I am getting a bit angry now, why is it? Normal stage?

[2sunny]

Today still in NC mode, but I am getting a bit angry now, why is it? Normal stage?

 

Angry at what? That's he's not begging to see you?

[Mount]

No, angry about his behavior towards me during last time our meet-up.

 

BTW, can you throw some constructive reply or nothing at least. I never like the tone in your reply, all fulfilling of the hatrd towards OW, and expecting them to fail.

 

Maybe other leisure activity would help.

 

Angry at what? That's he's not begging to see you?

[2sunny]

Speaking of hatred and criticism...!

 

Sheez, mount - I asked for clarity!

 

No! I'm not willing to be anything other than who I am!

 

But I'm not at all what you describe! That's for sure!

 

Stop being so controlling that you rule out any help!

 

I never felt any hatred to OW - in fact, I feel sadness that they settle for so little!

 

I also hate seeing my one fail! So stop telling me what I'm about when you are completely wrong!

 

Your perception is off - maybe it's that control that has you so tightly wound that you don't recognize help when it hits you.

 

Go ahead - mount - succeed - I dare ya!!!

 

 

Just don't criticize me - or I might have to charge you the usual $200 an hour!

 

And get honest about yourself - it helps you in moving forward - your denial is standing in your way of happiness!

[2sunny]

And for what it's worth -

 

YOU wouldn't be angry at him IF YOU'D stop handing him ALL YOUR POWER!

[Mount]

Did you not see that is "funny", coz I asked you to stop posting sth sth, and you asked me to stop posting anything you don't like to hear. So that is so pointless.

 

Pls respond others' posts only, here it is not mandatory to reply mine.

 

Speaking of hatred and criticism...!

 

Sheez, mount - I asked for clarity!

 

No! I'm not willing to be anything other than who I am!

 

But I'm not at all what you describe! That's for sure!

 

Stop being so controlling that you rule out any help!

 

I never felt any hatred to OW - in fact, I feel sadness that they settle for so little!

 

I also hate seeing my one fail! So stop telling me what I'm about when you are completely wrong!

 

Your perception is off - maybe it's that control that has you so tightly wound that you don't recognize help when it hits you.

 

Go ahead - mount - succeed - I dare ya!!!

 

 

Just don't criticize me - or I might have to charge you the usual $200 an hour!

 

And get honest about yourself - it helps you in moving forward - your denial is standing in your way of happiness!

[Owl]

You have the option of placing posters that you don't care to hear from on "ignore".

 

Or if their posts are in violation of TOS, report them.

 

Other than those two options...there's not much to be gained by trying to tell folks what they can/cannot post on your thread.

 

On-topic, I hope you continue to remain NC. Do you have a plan for how to remain NC going forward?

[Lostinlife4now]

Today still in NC mode, but I am getting a bit angry now, why is it? Normal stage?

 

 

Angry? NORMAL!!!!!! I was very angry when xMM went on vacation with the family! I was actually sick to my stomach. How can you FAKE a family and be with someone else and do what you have done?

 

In the beginning my R with xMM, I always thought he was better than me. Made ALOT of money, traveled all over the world, perfect children, But ya know what, he couldn't walk 5 MINUTES in my shoes and after alot of time I have come to realize this. I AM BETTER THAN HE IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE. I actually fell sorry for his W. She has to deal with his Narcissistic Ass for the rest of her natural life.

 

Just don't do anything IMPULSIVE since you are in the anger stage. It could backfire and get you into trouble.

 

As far as you being the OW...You will get over it and walk right though it. In the end you will find that the MM will DISGUST YOU!

[Henni]

I think it's good that you feel angry about his behaviour at the last meeting. Maybe it's a mixture of anger at him and at yourself, for losing sight of your boundaries, and letting yourself be disrespected? Maybe this anger is you getting sight of those boundaries again?

 

Just a thought. I highly recommend putting on some decent music, some thing to move your butt to, and dancing around your kitchen, if the thoughts of planning some other activity to get rid of excess energy are unappealing. I've found this highly therapeutic myself. Just get your crazy on and boogie with yourself.

 

Actually, I highly recommend everyone here do that. Going all-in on a one-woman/one-man boogie may be the best way ever to confirm that happiness is not dependent on another. You have to be all-in though....;-)

[BrokenPrincess]

I got angry at the end of week 2 NC. It lasted a couple days & I was PISSED thinking about every word of our last conversation/goodbye. I hoped that meant I was moving into a better place in getting over it, but unfortunately I went back to sad, alternating with indifference. Up & down.

 

Today a coworker mentioned his name..haven't heard it out loud in so long, felt like I got punched in the gut. Turns out xMM is in his city for work today & they're having lunch. I refrained from asking him to tell him hi, hung up the phone, and then promptly burst into tears for 15 minutes.

 

I feel hurt & angry & sad all over again thinking that he's in a hotel this week 1,000s of miles from his wife and doesn't want to contact me. Maybe when the tears dry up I will try hitting my kitchen dance floor.

 

Hope your NC has continued to be less depressing than mine so far.

[Mount]

I guess I am back to indifferent stage now when now NC ( or technically NC, will explain later) has up to 10 days.

 

No sad or feel bad, just indifferent and peaceful. At work, NC is still on until later today he was invited to the meeting where I was in as well. Again, no butterfly feeling, just felt a bit wierd seeing him after a while. Exchanging communications in the meeting (while others present as well of course), then that is it.

 

Guess it is done deal.

 

Alice2012, I did not use NC to punish anyone. After I showed by "monster" side of me, MM was texting asking about ending A and I agreed with txt.

 

I think it's good that you feel angry about his behaviour at the last meeting. Maybe it's a mixture of anger at him and at yourself, for losing sight of your boundaries, and letting yourself be disrespected? Maybe this anger is you getting sight of those boundaries again?

 

Just a thought. I highly recommend putting on some decent music, some thing to move your butt to, and dancing around your kitchen, if the thoughts of planning some other activity to get rid of excess energy are unappealing. I've found this highly therapeutic myself. Just get your crazy on and boogie with yourself.

 

Actually, I highly recommend everyone here do that. Going all-in on a one-woman/one-man boogie may be the best way ever to confirm that happiness is not dependent on another. You have to be all-in though....;-)

[Tenacity]

I guess I am back to indifferent stage now when now NC ( or technically NC, will explain later) has up to 10 days.

 

No sad or feel bad, just indifferent and peaceful. At work, NC is still on until later today he was invited to the meeting where I was in as well. Again, no butterfly feeling, just felt a bit wierd seeing him after a while. Exchanging communications in the meeting (while others present as well of course), then that is it.

 

Guess it is done deal.

 

Alice2012, I did not use NC to punish anyone. After I showed by "monster" side of me, MM was texting asking about ending A and I agreed with txt.

 

Hi Mount,

 

I don't agree that you are being manipulative with the NC, I just think this is a stage. I went through it too.

 

The thing is, you need to be sure YOU are in control, not him. You need to take care of yourself and be sure that what you are doing is right for you. So "Guess it is a done deal" sounds very passive, dependent on him (whether he responds to you or not). You need to KNOW it is a done deal... I am not sure you are there yet, but you are taking the proper steps.

 

Hang in... I believe you know what you need to do... it's just terribly hard to do it. But it HAS to come from you Mount. You have to do it.

[Mount]

Hi Ten - thanks Yes I think I am on the right track, plus I did not reply on him responding anything, coz I did not send him any matter.

 

It is NC overall, but limited contact at work if really necessary with 100% work content. That is it.;)

 

Hi Mount,

 

I don't agree that you are being manipulative with the NC, I just think this is a stage. I went through it too.

 

The thing is, you need to be sure YOU are in control, not him. You need to take care of yourself and be sure that what you are doing is right for you. So "Guess it is a done deal" sounds very passive, dependent on him (whether he responds to you or not). You need to KNOW it is a done deal... I am not sure you are there yet, but you are taking the proper steps.

 

Hang in... I believe you know what you need to do... it's just terribly hard to do it. But it HAS to come from you Mount. You have to do it.

[Tenacity]

Hi Ten - thanks Yes I think I am on the right track, plus I did not reply on him responding anything, coz I did not send him any matter.

 

It is NC overall, but limited contact at work if really necessary with 100% work content. That is it.;)

 

Stay strong Mount. You can always post here - we are here for you. I know you can do this and I know you want to.