2sunny Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 It's that rush and ego feed that he provided. But a huge trigger for anger if/ when he doesn't respond - which would hand him so much power. I don't see anything good to come from texting him... Stay strong and stay busy. Artistic outlets are great to relieve the emotions - especially anger. Sidewalk chalk works wonders! You can wash it away when you're done! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 Don't worry I won't contact him in anyway. Also, inspired by another thread subject and my reply there, regarding the MMs always brings their targeted potential OW to meet wives. I think the main trigger of this time NC is because during the last meet-up with MM, I mentioned him being sexual offender/harrasement in the company ina joking tone, after heard me saying that, his whole mood/person changes right away, and dropped me in front of my building immediately. It's that rush and ego feed that he provided. But a huge trigger for anger if/ when he doesn't respond - which would hand him so much power. I don't see anything good to come from texting him... Stay strong and stay busy. Artistic outlets are great to relieve the emotions - especially anger. Sidewalk chalk works wonders! You can wash it away when you're done! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Mount - are you saying you think he may be seeing other women at work? Multiple women... Or grooming them? Anger doesn't come when someone doesn't own that behavior - he was angry because he's guilty of that??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 (edited) During A I was constantly testing him by asking him if his those female "friends" at work were his old OWs...etc, in a joking tone, of course he denied and said he never had any non-work feeling towards them...etc. And during last time meet-up before the break-up, I made it sound like a joke that asking him how many Sexual H cases he had...etc then his mood turned right away. But again he always said I always tend to see things not there...etc. Mount - are you saying you think he may be seeing other women at work? Multiple women... Or grooming them? Anger doesn't come when someone doesn't own that behavior - he was angry because he's guilty of that??? Edited December 2, 2012 by Mount Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Why you called it as "habit"....anyway, don't worry, the "habit" is gone. The common sense is that it takes 14 days to develop/get over a habit, and the NC days have passed 14 days. I call it habit because you got used to texting with him, filling in time here and there. You got used to how it made you feel, to hear from him. And yes, 14 days have passed and that should be enough time to rid of that habit of hearing from him in that context. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 3, 2012 Author Share Posted December 3, 2012 Today we had to meet up discussing some work issue alone, no others present. Most the time we were just talking about work, and funny or I don't know what to think because he thought I would act like before, threw myself to him, and said to me that I have to trust him 100% then we can go back to previous status. I laughed loud, and told him no way, and told him again the contact between us shall be work only.Then continue discussing work professionally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Today we had to meet up discussing some work issue alone, no others present. Most the time we were just talking about work, and funny or I don't know what to think because he thought I would act like before, threw myself to him, and said to me that I have to trust him 100% then we can go back to previous status. I laughed loud, and told him no way, and told him again the contact between us shall be work only.Then continue discussing work professionally. Clssic minimizing and reframing. Why not try to ignore your complaints and reset things to when it was good for him? He's all refreshed from the vacation to juggle you too. If you trust him... Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Good for you. He's trying to bump you back into your old position. Threaten to expose him to his W - church - and co workers if he mentions it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 4, 2012 Author Share Posted December 4, 2012 Cute, I don't intend to go back A again, and I don't see myself slipping into A either. Pure professional and limited work contact is doable, no friend zone allow either. Clssic minimizing and reframing. Why not try to ignore your complaints and reset things to when it was good for him? He's all refreshed from the vacation to juggle you too. If you trust him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 I have to suppress my urge to throw myself to him again.....But my self-respect is much important than the urge...I suppose. I am still holding on here. Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I have to suppress my urge to throw myself to him again.....But my self-respect is much important than the urge...I suppose. I am still holding on here. How many days has it been now? I am dying to receive/make contact after 9 days of NC with my MM. Your posts are inspiring me NOT to. Thank you! Your strength is admirable, as I know I would have caved by now if I had to work with him everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 Over half a month. Remember, NC for me is NOT difficult at all, as long as there has no opportunity to see him. Since we work at same organization, sometimes we had to meet up for work topic. So suppress my emotion upon that is the hardest part. How many days has it been now? I am dying to receive/make contact after 9 days of NC with my MM. Your posts are inspiring me NOT to. Thank you! Your strength is admirable, as I know I would have caved by now if I had to work with him everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Your posts are inspiring me NOT to. Thank you! Your strength is admirable, as I know I would have caved by now if I had to work with him everyday. Mount, did you think you'd get to see people writing this about you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 Cute - not sure what you meant? Can you elaborate? Mount, did you think you'd get to see people writing this about you? Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 That your strength is an inspiration. You used to have trouble staying NC and ending the A. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) But let us be realistic or honest saying, that it takes two to NC as well. As we had NC 100% at all during his away, since MM's back from VAC he did not initiate contact, neither did I. We only had contact for business/work mainly. Guess he is really mad at my monster attitude, according to his saying that I was abusing him verbally or assaulting. Also I wouldn't throw myself to him either, so that is how the situation is done. And yes I do feel a bit disappointed and humiliated, but meantime I feel it is better that he did not try to press me getting back. That your strength is an inspiration. You used to have trouble staying NC and ending the A. Edited December 5, 2012 by Mount Link to post Share on other sites
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