abused 22 years,now i want to leave!

[Libby]

Married 22 yrs, Now that i am disabled and gained weight he wanted nothing to do with me.If we had sex it was a one way thing. HE has had a BAD temper with me since 2 days after we married.Ive dodged everyting, stereos, coffee pots filled with hot coffee,screw drivers broken glass.And after he let me almost die of blood clots,everyday i begged to be taken to the hospital,he would grin and go to work,I was not even able to walk answer my phone ect.The 4th day i was unconcious...He tells everyone im on drugs!My 15 yr old saved my life.I got the word HELP ME and she called.The doctors were angry at him for almost killing me by nrglecting medical care.Now i have been beaten on both sides of my head and he continued until i lost my vision.My screams fianlly waking my oldest up again,she called to get help.The only thing he has ever said,Was that it was my fault he had a record at police dept.Never im sorry.Now he has lost lots of weight..if i ask for a kiss tells me no.I cannot take anymore.stress has put alot of weight on me.And even my kids are scared of him.i could fill up a book.But being disabled what can i offer my kids.HE is always throwing that up to me.I got an apartment in a low income complex.But i cant bring myself to do it.WHY! Yell me why i cant walk off from this man who has done everything in the world to hurt or eve nkill me.Their is another woamn,i just cant find any info on her yet.He is now living with his mom,next door to ours.And comes in in the middle of the night.I lay in fear and pretend to be asleep..ADVICE NEEDED but can only come on here cant post my add.

[seahorse]

Hi,

 

I feel that there is a lot of stuff that you haven't told us. Stuff that is worse than what you've posted already.

 

The thing that is keeping you there is a misplaced sense of guilt and the history that you have together. (whether it's all bad or not recently, there must have been some good stuff at some point)

 

What you need to ask yourself is: Are you happy to live this way for the rest of your life? If not, then get out, and get out now. Why waste any more time at all being this unhappy? You've had 22 years of it already. It sounds like your children would not be sorry to get out either.

 

You have plenty and enough reasons to leave, his emotional and physical abuse/neglect, with the physical stuff easily backed up by the medical file at your hospital, you should get a divorce no problems. You've got somewhere to go, so please, take your courage in both hands and just do it.

 

I do not know what help is available in your country for disabled people, but from reading your post, you need to leave asap.

 

seahorse

[moimeme]

Here is a link on how to make your safety plan.

 

http://groups.msn.com/SpousalAbuseSupport/aseparationsafetyplan.msnw

 

Do that first. Then, if you can, contact your local abuse hotline for help getting out. If you can't reach them by phone, contact them via email or contact the above group.

 

Why can't you go? Because he's got you scared. However, you and your kids are in danger and, for their sakes if not your own, you must get all of you away from this man.

[mommabug]

you just have to get it together and go. for you and your kids. you probley struggle leaving because he has made you feel worthless and incompetent. he has made you believe that you are dependant on him. he has been controlling you. it won't be easy to leave but life is too short to waste any more time getting abused. you could be pennyless but i gaurantee happier if you get the courage to leave. you have the love between you and your children. your community should have lots of free support available including counselling, food banks etc. contact your local ministry for families or local family services. stop thinking about it, JUST DO IT.