lynngv Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 My 16 year old son Jarrod will not listen to me,he has a girlfriend that is rude and disrespects me.Her name is Jaime and I don't like her,she is my son's age.Jarrod's bio father does not like her either.Jaime made me freak out on Wendsday and I did not like it at all.I can't stand snakes,she decided to put a fake rubber snake on top of the stove which was not turned on.I was freaking out and she was laughing thinking it was funny.She loves to pull pranks.Jaime also burps out loud and I hate that.Then I got a shock of my life lately,she wants to have a baby with him.That is not going to happen,I am not ready to become a grandma yet.I learned my lesson on this,I am 33 and gave birth to my son when I was 17.It was not easy although I had help with my son's bio father.His bio father and I told him that he needs to dump her and he says he loves her.They have been dating for 3 monthes now.I will not let her in my house ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 Theres nothing you can do to prevent him from knocking her up, especially if she wants to make it happen. The more you try to prevent him from seeing her, the more you will send him running to her. What you might want to try is reverse psychology. Make him see her more, make him see her so much that she might do something to turn him off. It also might take the excitement of danger and forbidden aspect away from them. If she gets off on making you mad, dont let her. If she sees you and pranks you, prank her 10 times worse, and have no guilt about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted November 25, 2012 Author Share Posted November 25, 2012 Her parents are not happy at all too after hearing she disrespects me and wanting a child with my son.I told them this,having a meeting on this and working with me on this.I believe Jaime is not telling the truth either and her parents are right.She does not look 16 years old and her parents have told me she is 21.I see this as a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 Her parents are not happy at all too after hearing she disrespects me and wanting a child with my son.I told them this,having a meeting on this and working with me on this.I believe Jaime is not telling the truth either and her parents are right.She does not look 16 years old and her parents have told me she is 21.I see this as a problem. Its not really a huge problem, but she will be able to manipulate your son, and he might get heartbroken. he might have to learn the hard way. But the more you involve her parents, the more the kids will get excited about doing something they know they no one wants them to do. Hopefully it wont become the worst case scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted November 25, 2012 Author Share Posted November 25, 2012 Jaime has a statitory rape conviction,was caught having sex with a 14 year old boy last year.I fear this is going to happen again.I believe she supplied alcohol for him,I smelled alcohol on his breathe Friday night and admited to drinking a couple beers supplied by her. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 I agree with another poster on here who said you cannot stop a teenager from hanging out with girls or guys you don't approve of, or who are not appropriate. You just have to hope you have raised them well enough for them to know the right path to take and then you pray that they heed what you have taught them on how to behave, treat others and respect themselves..... my teen daughter had a friend who was high risk......it was months of running away staying out at night and eventual trouble with the police.....the more i pushed and punished the more she would rebel against my authority......so i stopped under advisement and gave her this gem....."i dont agree with what you are doing i don't give you permission to do what you are doing and i will not give my permission to go with this girl.......you will face the consequences of what you do one way or another this girl is not your friend"...... it took a while but everything i said came to pass.......my teen daughter now, is no longer friends or sees that girl who was bad for her......the more you push a teen the more they push your boundaries back ....you don't have to agree with what they do or who they see....but ultimately they will make their own choices.....just pray you taught them the right ones....its not easy watching a teen you adore and love and want the best for, go through rough lessons and risky friendships.....but you have to ......however much you disagree with them and know they are set to fail......just pray...good luck.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted November 25, 2012 Author Share Posted November 25, 2012 They broke up this afternoon,my son realized she lied to him.I learned she got a call from another boyfriend she has been dating for 3 years which my son over heard the phone call.Got into it and both said it is over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 everything worked out in the end, your son got hurt though, next time you might not have to worry so much.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 Realized he learned his lesson and said I was right.He is going to take a break and date girls his age.Next time he is going to use his head called thinking about it Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 There is something really missing here..... Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Your son is 16, who comes into your house is up to you, period, end of story. he needs a job, and some volunteer work , to make him understand that possibly although sex is nice, children right now would suck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 He had a job,washing dishes at a restauraunt and he was fired for coming in late 3 weeks ago.Hated it and I kept telling him it is a job.He has been looking,I told him a customer of mine,a car detailer is looking for anyone detailing cars.After school tommorrow,he is going to stop by and apply for it. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Lynn...I get that he is a real handful...don't sell the volunteering stuff short. It's a really great way to accomplish several things. First, it should be a scheduled committment. Next, he will get back way way way more than he gives...that's why it's done. Next, it will give him a substantial job reference after only a few months. Also, many times volunteering involves activism which really gave my daughter a gateway to rebel. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Ought to be a lot of jobs for Christmas season right now. As for him not listening to you, this is what I did - and my DD22 has told me repeatedly that it was the exact right thing to do. I sat her down and told her what the 'house rules' are, and what the consequences would be for breaking each rule. That way, she knew ahead of time what would happen if she did A, B, or C. For instance, get arrested, I will not bail you out. Sneak out, I will take your phone away or cancel the service. Fail a class, you'll lose all electronics and you'll write me a book report each week until the next grades come out. Talk back to me, and no tv for a day. Stuff like that. With a boy, I'd recommend writing them out and pinning them to the wall. Not vindictiveness, but doing your job as his protector and mentor until he's 18. You're not expecting him to do bad things, but if he does, THIS is what will happen, as part of your job of teaching him that integrity will serve him better in the long run, that he can CHOOSE to keep breaking rules, but the only person he's hurting is himself - no skin off YOUR nose if he loses his phone. kwim? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I second the volunteering thing. REALLY teaches them a lot about how good they have it, and it looks great on their resume. DD22, I never pushed her to do it, and now she's regretting that she doesn't have more volunteering on her resume. Link to post Share on other sites
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