The "Fish and Family Smell after 3 days" rule

[pink_sugar]

What do you guys think of the term "Fish and Family Smell after 3 days" Do you think there is truth to it? I ask because my parents come and stay in our small one bedroom apartment sometimes up to a week each time. Towards the last day or two, we easily get on each others nerves to the point they don't want to come back and we want to kick them out. They were offended when I said my husband and I wanted to go to dinner alone when they invited themselves along. This has happened before and I need to draw the line. I also usually keep my cat in a crate at night, because she otherwise pees on the carpet while we sleep...so we're forced to keep her out of the crate while they visit because she cries all night. Anyways, I have to find a way to tell them "no more than 3 days". Here's the thing, my mom's family was always raised that family should be able to come over whenever they want and you accept them with open arms. She acts like the newer generation has it messed up with wanting boundaries and whatnot. But honestly, friends or family...given such tight space, people will start to get on each others nerves.

[shayla]

My late, great mother used to say this about family visits:

 

Glad to see them when they come, glad to see them go when they go!

It's best to keep visits to a few days, then no one wears out their welcome.

[pink_sugar]

Definitely know what you mean. I usually can go up to about 4 days max and usually after that tensions get a little high.

[amaysngrace]

We use to go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve as a family and we reeked like fish.

 

[Ingenue]

Forget fish and family, fish and people who overstay their welcome smell after three days. I do enjoy having people over, but in a small space, more than 3 days is too much. Even if the people staying are considerate of your boundaries and space, you still want to come home to "your" space.

 

As a rule, I tend to never stay with friends and family. I always choose a hotel first and then inform family I'm coming. Then, when they insist I stay with them, I simply state that I've already paid a non-refundable hotel fee and there's no point letting it go to waste.

 

I once had to be a very bad hostess and ask a friend to leave after he had stayed over 15 days. I couldn't take it anymore. If he stayed one more day, I was going to lose my mind.

[liquid_amber]

Forget fish and family, fish and people who overstay their welcome smell after three days. I do enjoy having people over, but in a small space, more than 3 days is too much. Even if the people staying are considerate of your boundaries and space, you still want to come home to "your" space.

 

As a rule, I tend to never stay with friends and family. I always choose a hotel first and then inform family I'm coming. Then, when they insist I stay with them, I simply state that I've already paid a non-refundable hotel fee and there's no point letting it go to waste.

 

i am the same way. i always get a hotel room when i'm visiting someone. not only do i hate to impose on their personal space, but it's more comfortable for me as well. the only way i can imagine being able to stay at someone's house and not have it get awkward is if they have a really big house where i can have plenty of space to myself (bedroom and bathroom) without having to intrude on their space. otherwise, a hotel room is so much more comfortable and avoids unnecessary stress and bad feelings.

[Ingenue]

i am the same way. i always get a hotel room when i'm visiting someone. not only do i hate to impose on their personal space, but it's more comfortable for me as well. the only way i can imagine being able to stay at someone's house and not have it get awkward is if they have a really big house where i can have plenty of space to myself (bedroom and bathroom) without having to intrude on their space. otherwise, a hotel room is so much more comfortable and avoids unnecessary stress and bad feelings.

 

Absolutely. If anything, you always have to be on your best behaviour when staying with others. You have to be more courteous, and more respectful. By the time you've brought a hostess gift, washed their dishes, cleaned their house, taken them out to dinners, paid for groceries, bought them another thank you gift and left, it feels less like a visit, and more like you've never left your own house. Plus, you've already inconvenienced your hosts who are secretly wishing you'd just go to a hotel. No matter how neat and clean you are, you're still imposing.

[pink_sugar]

I definitely agree. I have a friend who is honestly a huge pack rat and I love her like a sister, but her apartment is filthy. I know she lives alone in the state and the apartment is tiny...but it's really quite gross and I wished I had booked a hotel before hand. So I had to come up with a polite reason to suggest we stay at a motel together.