Don't talk about feelings...I want to help

[hugznkisses21]

[font=arial][color=darkblue]I am new here. I have browsed some of the posts on many occasions. Here is my dilema. My bf of over a year says that he doesn't talk about his feelings, which basically means if he is in a bad mood or upset about something he will just say it is nothing .if I ask until I get his upset by asking 6 times he will finally tell me. If it has something to do with me ofcourse he does say up frount but other then that he doesnt leave me much choice but to feel as if something is wrong with us or whatever. I feel a bit helpless b/c I would like to help him if he has a problem yet instead I suffer a bit because he becomes distant, rude or unaffectionate with he is stressed or upset about something. What can I do?[/color][/font]

 

I posted this in this forum because I recived a call from him this morning saying he was feeling weird dizzy and nervous today....I myself get anxiety sometimes and think that he is letting stuff build up and bother him. I want to help but its like he wont let me. He wont even tell me that he is feeling stressed instead I have to guess by his actions towards me. He tells me I think too much (i.e thinking that it could be us that is bothering him or me) but its like he wont tell me so Im not left with much choice....Any Advice?

 

I know that I drive him nuts cause I am very affectionate and very emotional...I definately cry alot. Perhaps I am making a big deal out of this......

[hugznkisses21]

Any takers on this thread???

I know it isnt as interesting as the penis question!!

[moimeme]

Your best bet is to go read John Grey's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I don't agree with everything Grey says, but he lets us into men's heads - at least the way many men think.

 

One of my A1 requirements in a man is that he is willing and able to discuss difficulties. The ones who don't will just end up leaving you because they never brought grievances out in the open to be solved. I have zero interest in trying to second-guess some guy who thinks it's 'macho' to pretend everything's fine when it's not. I'd rather live with a couple dozen cats than deal with some Mr. Mystery who clams up and remains stony-jawed while you stew trying to sort out what's troubling him.

 

Can you ever get him to talk? Well, maybe if he's open to this sort of thing, you can get him to read Mars & Venus too. If he won't, you choose - live in perpetual perplexity or ditch him and at least know where you stand when there's only you to have to deal with.

[hugznkisses21]

I would have to have a lot more to leave him over this...I absolutly love him and he loves me. We both have expressed that we are eachothers world. He claims he is this way due to the way his father is in his european household.