when do you decide to give up on a relationship?

[jennie]

i've posted here before about my b'f who is a loan officer and a realtor. when he loses clients cause they have bad credit or something beyond his own control he gets really moody and in a bad "don't talk to me" mood.

 

i've told him before don't take it out on me but still he does. he get's intolerant and impatient and just don't want to talk to me and if i say the wrong thing at the time, all hell breaks lose.

 

i'm tired of this, but i love this guy! we've finally started talking about marriage and he said we both need to start saving for our wedding and reception.

 

for the most part we get along really well tho we have our differences such as, he like's too much sports, football, baseball, going out during, going certain places that i don't want to go. i'ts always one or the other that seems to have to sacrifice something to please the other.

 

so maybe were just not right for each other. i've stated here before that i am going to counseling for my jealousy and control problems, but at times these aren't even the problem and we still seem to fight about stupid stuff.

 

i don't think any amount of counseling would help, i think we are just two different people trying to hold to be with each other cause we do love each other. so is it possible to work through things like this? if so how?

 

we are both 40 as i said before, but age makes no difference, we still want to be together, but how can we when it seems the odds are against us? at night when we are sitting at home cuddling on the couch and watching t.v. or a movie, it seems like our life is so perfect, then the next day comes around and so does reality, the stress of work, family etc. then we get beat down once again, but then at night it's the same thing, i'ts like i live for the evenings to be assured that we are still o.k. together.

 

what can i do? i'm so confused, i don't want to live this way, yet i don't want to leave him either. what other options are out there?

[Deejette]

He needs to go to an anger management class. It will make him much happier than being on the emotional roller coaster he is on every time some client doesn't go his way. Walking around on eggshells hoping you won't set him off or worrying what kind of mood he will be in today is not a healthy situation for you.

 

At 40 adults have so much accumulated experience and have become set in their ways to some extent, so it is a miracle that any adults can live together in harmony over an extended period of time. But if you are much happier with him than without him, it would be a good thing to gently suggest Anger Management as a way towards his own happiness and business success.

 

You might try some time off from him, telling him that he needs to get his moodiness under control before you return. You can tell him that you cannot picture yourself living under these conditions for the rest of your life. You can offer to work on anything that he finds difficult about you. But it is not enough for just you to realize and work on the problem. He has to participate too.

i've posted here before about my b'f who is a loan officer and a realtor. when he loses clients cause they have bad credit or something beyond his own control he gets really moody and in a bad "don't talk to me" mood. i've told him before don't take it out on me but still he does. he get's intolerant and impatient and just don't want to talk to me and if i say the wrong thing at the time, all hell breaks lose. i'm tired of this, but i love this guy! we've finally started talking about marriage and he said we both need to start saving for our wedding and reception. for the most part we get along really well tho we have our differences such as, he like's too much sports, football, baseball, going out during, going certain places that i don't want to go. i'ts always one or the other that seems to have to sacrifice something to please the other.

 

so maybe were just not right for each other. i've stated here before that i am going to counseling for my jealousy and control problems, but at times these aren't even the problem and we still seem to fight about stupid stuff. i don't think any amount of counseling would help, i think we are just two different people trying to hold to be with each other cause we do love each other. so is it possible to work through things like this? if so how? we are both 40 as i said before, but age makes no difference, we still want to be together, but how can we when it seems the odds are against us? at night when we are sitting at home cuddling on the couch and watching t.v. or a movie, it seems like our life is so perfect, then the next day comes around and so does reality, the stress of work, family etc. then we get beat down once again, but then at night it's the same thing, i'ts like i live for the evenings to be assured that we are still o.k. together. what can i do? i'm so confused, i don't want to live this way, yet i don't want to leave him either. what other options are out there?