StillHurtin Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 My dh was the one to have an A after 11 years of marriage and HE was the one who accussed ME of having A's. Every time I went out w/ my friends he would ask me who I flirted w/, or who I slept w/. He admitted he didn't trust me. He didn't trust me b/c I had a past. I had many lovers (non were MM) and I regret ever telling dh how many lovers I had b4 I met him. The night I met dh I wasn't w/ anyone else. He was the only one I was w/ when we dated and our marriage. I got so tired of him accussing me of messing around on him. I reassured him that I would never do that, no matter how bad things got between us. I made a vow to him and God that I would be faithful and I met it. I stuck to my vows, he did not. I read somewhere that M who accuse their W's of having A's that the M is the one who actually has one. I asked dh why he didn't trust me and he said b/c of my past plus he didn't feel he was good enough for me. He was insecure. He shouldn't be. He is a good looking man and I have been told by ppl who meet him for the first time that he is good looking. Even the preacher at my parent's church said to him "Good looking young man." And just the other night I was working w/ another woman who met him for the first tiime and when dh walked off she said "Is that your H? He is good looking." So I don't understand why he was so insecure. Just b/c I had a bad past doesn't mean I am going to cheat on him. It just baffles me after being accussed so many times of having an A and he was the one that actually did it. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Usually the one doing the accusing is the one who's having the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 Sometimes the one having the affair is accusatory, it is called transference. I don't think i would go so far as to say usually. Often when we accuse others of things, it is because we have reason to suspect. In your husband's case, he was obsessed with your past. It's a reason. Not a good reason, but there it is. I am sorry that your husband ended up being unfaithful, I hope that you find whatever it is that makes you happy again. Link to post Share on other sites
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