does he like me more than a friend? how do i know?

[trueluV]

(posted this on "dating" last night, but think it fits better here)

 

i have a very special guy friend, who i consider my best friend.

we've been friends for over a year. we clicked immediately the first time we met and have remained best friends since.

we hold a similar job, and have similar interests and values in just about everything. i have never met anyone like him who i can hang out with, let's say 24/7 and not get bored, have endless conversations with.

 

he had a girlfriend when we first met, they are no longer together now.

maybe because of that, i tried to stay within the "friend" zone with him.

later on, I got in a relationship with someone else, but felt i had stronger desire to spend time with this friend, so i broke up with my boyfriend.

 

ever since, he and i have been hanging out at least twice a week, and when we meet, we stay together as long as we can - 12 hours or more, but without going over or staying over at each others place.

not only we have fun together, but he is always there for me when i need any kind of help.

 

I always somehow thought of him as a friend, mainly because he and i were in relationships, and didn't want to ruin a good friendship.

but since two weeks ago, the dynamics between us has changed and we have been flirting, and he even asked to come stay over at my place.

When he put his arm around me for the first time, I got butterflies in my stomach and felt him more than friends.

 

so, from all this, i do feel he likes me, but then, what is the reason it is not moving to something more? maybe he feels the same way -he doesn't want to risk the friendship, or maybe that's an excuse from my side.

but we truly enjoy each others company and can never get enough of each other whenever we meet...

 

my feelings started to develop for him in the past couple of weeks...

on one hand i want to have him forever and friend is one way, on the other hand, i want more than friends...but that comes with a risk.

 

any thoughts would be very much appreciated!

[trueluV]

a few important factors i forgot to mention:

 

- we never flirted in the past, never, but a couple of weeks ago, one night when i got tipsy at a bar with him, he started to flirt with me.

he walked me home and put his arms around me, that's when i felt the switch from friends to something more.

ever since that time, we flirt and he mentions staying over at my place.

i just straight asked him if he wants to sleep with me, and he said yes, all the time.

 

- another thing, very important thing is, and very sad to me, is that he will be moving to a different continent in a month. i am quite lost about this one.

if this is the case, telling him i have feelings for him can be risky...we can ruin the good friendship we had.

 

[carhill]

any thoughts would be very much appreciated!

 

I have a relevant anecdote which might assist. When a certain friend held me close, kissed me good night and whispered a few sweet nothings in my ear, she felt some 53yo wood against her belly. Friendship might be the path, but I doubt there's any uncertainty in her mind regarding my sexual response to her. I'm an old fart now and don't mind such games and actually find them interesting, but the indication should be clear enough. One potential 'sign'. No words need to be spoken

[trueluV]

then be his friend and continue to flirt and talk to him on skype when he is away... and then if/when it feels right, let your feelings known.

 

good luck!

 

thank you, i like your suggestions.

it's so positive

[trueluV]

I have a relevant anecdote which might assist. When a certain friend held me close, kissed me good night and whispered a few sweet nothings in my ear, she felt some 53yo wood against her belly. Friendship might be the path, but I doubt there's any uncertainty in her mind regarding my sexual response to her. I'm an old fart now and don't mind such games and actually find them interesting, but the indication should be clear enough. One potential 'sign'. No words need to be spoken

 

a question after your post:

(call me naive...) wouldn't a guy get a hard on for any female, if let's say, her body part touches him, or you are sitting close together at a bar or something...? or is it really a clear enough indication he is attracted to her?

[shoeinn]

I've been in a very similar situation, very very confusing. Have you tried telling him????

 

(posted this on "dating" last night, but think it fits better here)

 

i have a very special guy friend, who i consider my best friend.

we've been friends for over a year. we clicked immediately the first time we met and have remained best friends since.

we hold a similar job, and have similar interests and values in just about everything. i have never met anyone like him who i can hang out with, let's say 24/7 and not get bored, have endless conversations with.

 

he had a girlfriend when we first met, they are no longer together now.

maybe because of that, i tried to stay within the "friend" zone with him.

later on, I got in a relationship with someone else, but felt i had stronger desire to spend time with this friend, so i broke up with my boyfriend.

 

ever since, he and i have been hanging out at least twice a week, and when we meet, we stay together as long as we can - 12 hours or more, but without going over or staying over at each others place.

not only we have fun together, but he is always there for me when i need any kind of help.

 

I always somehow thought of him as a friend, mainly because he and i were in relationships, and didn't want to ruin a good friendship.

but since two weeks ago, the dynamics between us has changed and we have been flirting, and he even asked to come stay over at my place.

When he put his arm around me for the first time, I got butterflies in my stomach and felt him more than friends.

 

so, from all this, i do feel he likes me, but then, what is the reason it is not moving to something more? maybe he feels the same way -he doesn't want to risk the friendship, or maybe that's an excuse from my side.

but we truly enjoy each others company and can never get enough of each other whenever we meet...

 

my feelings started to develop for him in the past couple of weeks...

on one hand i want to have him forever and friend is one way, on the other hand, i want more than friends...but that comes with a risk.

 

any thoughts would be very much appreciated!

[trueluV]

I've been in a very similar situation, very very confusing. Have you tried telling him????

 

can you tell me how your situation turned out?

did you tell him? did he tell you? what happened?

 

I am very confused what to do now, because he will move away in a month.

If he weren't moving away, i could just sit back and see how things go as time passes, but the situation i am in now is not like that and i only have a month with him.

 

I really like him, of course he is my dear friend, but now i like him more than that, and the thought that he is moving away makes me so sad and (secretly) i wish he is feeling the same and wants us to move forward.

my feelings for him are growing day by day...

 

i thought about telling him how i feel about him, not too directly, but that comes with a risk....what if he feels uncomfortable or pressured, or think i am a burden all of a sudden. i am scared of the risk.

 

so confused, lost, and so sad