animefan Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 Hi, I met a great guy when I went out sometime ago and got his number. I felt there was great chemistry between us. Unfortunately I discovered that he was living on the east coast, while I just moved to the midwest and will have to be here for at least 6 years. I met him Saturday night and he flew back to his place Monday evening. We managed to talk twice on the phone between that - about 30 min chats. Planned to meet up before he left, but it didn't work out. I told him that I didn't want any great commitment, but that I am fine with something above friendship. He just broke up with his significant other two months ago and doesn't want to get into anything serious either. So we both decided to stick with "friendship" and being "contacts". My problem is I am attracted to him and feel that it could go farther anad that friendship isn't enough for me. Fast forward to today - a week later - I called him just to chat - we ended up talking for an hour. Parts of the conversation involved phrases such as "the guy you end up with" or "whichever woman I end up marrying" - indicating what I thought was a separate future. However, there were also references to "which guys have you dated" and "you looked pretty cure that night". I guess I am confused - which may be my own fault since I said I didn't want anything serious. I feel now like I am tempting myself with something I can't have since we discussed his future plans too and there was no mention of him relocating, or even coming around to where I live. Maybe I am expecting too much. But I am definitely attacted to him, yet feel that it is hopeless. Can anyone clue me in on what he is feeling?? Thanks in advance!!! Link to post Share on other sites
pitprincess Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 He may think you didn't want a relationship with him, just someone to be there instead. Maybe someone can offer you more.. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
animefan Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 So would you suggest that I discuss it directly with him or just wait and see what happens while doing the friend thing? Link to post Share on other sites
animefan Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Please, can someone give suggestions/opinions? I am going crazy thinking about this. It's been more than two weeks since we last talked (when I called). I feel like I might be making a mistake letting him go since I thought we really clicked and he even called from the airport before he left. Or, if I call him again, will I be making a mistake? Should I take it as an obvious sign that he's not interested since he hasn't bothered to call back? Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 If he is interested he will call you back. I wouldn´t call him. He would be stupid if he didn´t know what was expected of him. My guess is, he is still thinking (if he´s interested) if he should call you or not, he won´t call you if he´s interest is not strong enough. Even when you said you didn´t want anything serious, if he likes you he will call. With all the distance it will be hard enough and if he has not enough courage or endurance it´s not going to work out anyway. This looks difficult, because it would be him who would have to relocate if you don´t want to have a long-distance relationship. I don´t know if a long-distance relationship will work out with people who barely know each other, to overcome the distance is difficult even for people who are already in a relationship, but there are obviously people who have been dating online for quite a long time without having met their partner once, so everything seems possible. I think the latter involves a lot of fantasy and is not really compatible with the real world. You know too little of him, so this at best could be called infatuation therefore, take it easy. It will pass once you meet someone else at home. Every time I was in love with someone who lived far away and I started to be honest with myself I had to admit:"I don´t want to move." or to be more precise:"I don´t want to move where he lives." My feelings were just not that strong and if they are not - get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
animefan Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 Thanks, I guess I knew at the back of my mind what you are saying, but I just needed to hear someone else say it to knock some sense into me:-). Oh well, time for the other fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
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