boyfriend is lazy

[tired]

Hello. Could a guy please help me on this. My boyfriend and I have been having sex once a month and it's clearly not enough for me. I try many many times to let him know and he just says he's not in the mood or that he's too lazy to do anything about it. What should I do? How can I turn this around? Please help!

[Tony T]

There are many things that can diminish a man's libido. Stress and worry, various medications, psychological problems, excessive masturbation, insufficient testosterone levels, thyroid disease, etc. He would have to get a full medical physical to rule out biological causes. Once you rule out all physical causation, a psychiastrist or psychologist could evaluate him to find the psychological roots of the problem.

 

There are just some men who naturally have little interest in sex, and they are perfectly heterosexual.

 

There are a few men out there who can't have sex if it's requested or too readily available.

 

Health food stores have various supplements that are said to boost the libido. You might try consulting a nutritionist or a physician who specializes in these to help you choose a nutritional supplement that may help. There is a supplement sold by multi-level marketing called "Km" It is billed as a potassium supplement but contains many natural ingredients said to help boost the libido.

 

You better get to the bottom of this quick, though. It sounds like the hurt and rejection is getting to a critical point. Putting pressure on him will only make things worse. If you really love him, assure him of this but let him know you both need to work on this problem. If it continues, you will eventually grow angry and bitter. Don't let the relationship continue to that point.

 

Get help today!!! Don't stop until it's solved.

[confused too]

Thanks. Good advice. The only thing is that he does not want to talk about it. And the thing is that we use to have sex so often before! I think stress is the problem.

 

Of course the sex is readily available. How can I change that?

 

Also, he has turned me down so many times that now my sex drive is starting to go down as well. And my feelings for him to. Can you break a relationship for sex???

[confused too]

Sorry tony, I'm "tired" I just changed my nickname...

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: Of course the sex is readily available. How can I change that?

 

If you live with him, you can't. Especially now when a precedent has been set. If you really want to stir things up, move out...away from him...and let him start craving you again.

 

YOUR POST: Also, he has turned me down so many times that now my sex drive is starting to go down as well. And my feelings for him to. Can you break a relationship for sex???

 

You can break a relationship for any reason or no reason at all. But, if you are young and healthy and want to experience a good sex life during your years when it will mean the most, you're gonna have to take the steps I suggested earlier or leave him.

 

You have to decide just how important sex is to you. If you took the time to post here, it must be important. If he won't talk about it, you have just about lost this game. I must warn you that if sex is important to you and you remain, you will eventually be very angry and very bitter. You will one day look in the mirror and wonder why you wasted so many years in a sexless relationship and sacrificed so much.

 

Now, if you are getting a lot of other great things out of this, then you need to decide just exactly what direction you want to go. This is your decision and nobody elses. You are the one who decides if you want to break up. You might get into counselling and have a professional help you in making a decision. But, again, my prediction is that one day you will wake up mad as hell.

[Tony T]

Many times, I have been confused and tired at the same time.

[Confused too]

You said so many things that I had not though about. I've thought of ending it but on the flip side he is such a great guy. I have never met such a caring man but then again, I haven't been around at all.

 

Sex is important to me. But I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice the comfort. I know it's sad.

 

How can I try to get through him one last time?

[Tony T]

How can I try to get through him one last

time?

Throw the problem into his corner. Tell him you're a young, red blooded, hormone filled woman with very normal sexual needs and that you are very frustrated about his unwillingness to help satisfy those needs. Then ask him if he were you, just what would he do?