How do you initiate contact with dumper after NC?

[fucpcg]

Yes be this guy ^ he obviously knows everything about life, and in one paragraph summed up my life completely, which is soo awful. Why be me when you can be a judgemental know it all prick who thinks his one view of life is the only correct one, and yes be a pussy it will make everything fall into place when you run from anything painful.

[YorickBrown]

Perfect example of WHY we say NC is vital....

 

Lets look at the situation

-42 years old, not married, no kids

-many failed relationships

-chasing and fighting for ex's (Has yet to see that both times it DIDNT WORK)

-gets future faked and falls for it all the time

-constantly does the same thing OVER AND OVER (breaks NC) and still gets no response

-tries to lie to himself calling everyone else weak while his ways DONT work

 

If you want to succeed in relationships etc........ DO THE OPPOSITE OF THIS POSTER.

 

@fucpcg & CptSaveAho

AHGG!!!! You two guys are confusing the hell outta me.

 

On one end, fucpcg is saying "dont be weak", "break NC if a good reason presents itself" blah blah.."then take it like a man if it doesnt, pain is good and like, things will get better someday" or some blah blah like that..

 

On the other end, CptSaveAho is saying "that's bull...look where that got this guy!?"...and like, "its solid NC or prepare to be like fucpcg"

 

I mean...if only this "paternity testing" hasnt been rattling in my head for quite sometime now, I'd definitely be on CaptSavAho's side on this NC issue all the way...(sorry fucpcg, he's at least consistent)...but because I DID NOT BREAK NC ever for the past months...I didn't know I HAD a baby girl (well, might have, or not...if I had just been an NC breaker like fucpcg at least I would have known sooner).

[CptSaveAho]

If it was yours, she would ahve told you, sounds like a breadcrumb

 

If she didnt tell you shes a piece of crap... you know it could be the other dudes, typically is

[not-a-drive-by]

I think you should do whatever your heart is telling you to do. Live with no regrets

 

I do believe in this. Live with no regrets. It's better to do it and get hurt, rather than live a life with "what ifs". At least you've given your all and know that there is nothing more you can do.

 

She should never do what her heart is telling her to do after a break-up....They broke up and the guy (as far as I know) has never tried to reach out.

 

Certainly not right after a BU. But after things have settled for a while, I think you can follow what your heart is telling you. Reach out as in reconciling? Unfortunately, no. We did meet a few times after the BU and texted during the first few weeks, but the contact slowed down and I eventually went NC after learning about it.

 

If its something you truly feel you want to do, Id send a very platonic: "hey I just wanted to see how you were doing; its been a while!" ..like I would to any friend.

 

I think that would be a fair way to start if I decide to break it.

 

I don't know why you feel the need to reach out, but if there is a solid reason for it, then do it. And for the people that argue things like "OMG you're just gonna hurt yourself" well wake up, sometimes life will bring pain, especially in matters of love. If you want to be a spineless jellyfish to your beliefs because you are scared you might get hurt, well either grow some balls, or just never, ever, ever get into a relationship so that you can just avoid having to hurt ever.

 

Personally I just don't get a weak mentality, one that fears pain or fears an outcome different than what they were hoping for, this is why I never buy into the whole NC is the only way, only thing to heal. Whatever. To me running as far away as you can from a failed relationship is crap.

 

I really agree with this. Nothing great comes easy. NC is vital, but I don't believe in taking it as Gospel (all the strictness to it) - sometimes I find it quite silly? Bad word to use. Some times I find people taking it too seriously. For example, if they had to break contact for a genuine reason (an emergency or whatnot), they need someone to confirm whether they have broken contact or not. And whether they need to start all over again. I think of it (NC) as self discipline - you will eventually come to a stage where you will be mature about it and it's not that big of a deal. If you break it, you can always restart it.

 

I mean...if only this "paternity testing" hasnt been rattling in my head for quite sometime now, I'd definitely be on CaptSavAho's side on this NC issue all the way...(sorry fucpcg, he's at least consistent)...but because I DID NOT BREAK NC ever for the past months...I didn't know I HAD a baby girl (well, might have, or not...if I had just been an NC breaker like fucpcg at least I would have known sooner).

 

This shows there are two sides of a coin. It's not always black and white, especially with relationships.

[CptSaveAho]

LOL... nice displacement of logic with emotions with the term "black and white"

 

Actually it is black and white...

 

When I read his response and your agreement to it, I see masochism, lying to yourself, being a wussy (friendzoning yourself), listening to your emotions and not logic (common sense).

 

Women do this crap, you just seek validation on an internet forum to do what you know deep down is wrong but looking for justification to do it anyways.

 

Go for it, PROVE us all wrong. fucpcg is 0% reconciliation rate. He's friends with all his ex's but single and lonely at 42

[YorickBrown]

If it was yours, she would ahve told you, sounds like a breadcrumb

 

If she didnt tell you shes a piece of crap... you know it could be the other dudes, typically is

 

I know. But its a "breadcrumb" that's stuck in my freakin mind ...its getting to be worse than a tumor.

 

and unless I break NC and find out for sure its gonna bother me (like a pebble in one's shoes--but a very big one)....Besides...wouldn't we want to save a baby (especially IF its mine) from a piece of crap ho and her co-horts!?!?

 

Well, at least you are consistent Captn!

[not-a-drive-by]

LOL... nice displacement of logic with emotions with the term "black and white"

 

Actually it is black and white...

 

When I read his response and your agreement to it, I see masochism, lying to yourself, being a wussy (friendzoning yourself), listening to your emotions and not logic (common sense).

 

Women do this crap, you just seek validation on an internet forum to do what you know deep down is wrong but looking for justification to do it anyways.

 

Go for it, PROVE us all wrong. fucpcg is 0% reconciliation rate. He's friends with all his ex's but single and lonely at 42

 

This is a forum, we can express our own views. Everyone has their own opinions. If it really was as easy as black and white, there is no need for a forum. We have our right to put our own 2 cents in this.

 

And don't we all seek validation? Like how you are trying to validate that your path is the only way to go about things, and anything other than that is WRONG.

Edited November 30, 2012 by not-a-drive-by

[YorickBrown]

LOL... nice displacement of logic with emotions with the term "black and white"

 

Actually it is black and white...

 

When I read his response and your agreement to it, I see masochism, lying to yourself, being a wussy (friendzoning yourself), listening to your emotions and not logic (common sense).

 

Women do this crap, you just seek validation on an internet forum to do what you know deep down is wrong but looking for justification to do it anyways.

 

Go for it, PROVE us all wrong. fucpcg is 0% reconciliation rate. He's friends with all his ex's but single and lonely at 42

 

Huh? Uhmmm...wait... I think what not-a-drive-by meant to say was its not always Black Or White...meaning, there's always a "Gray" area somewhere...hmmmm...

 

I dunno what "displacement of logic" exactly means...I see it more as a displacement of conjuctions since Black and White means as an idiom: basically always "being in absolutes or extremes" (which now that I see that's what CapSavAho is...an "extremist!" )Hmmmm...but not-so-drive did use NOT ALWAYS before B&W...hmmm...if she had only use "or" "and/or" this would have gone a different path...Unfortunately she did use "And" which opened up this confusion (for me) ...ahhh...what the heck! That's why we use our "Gray Matter" right?!? Mine's really screwed up right now I'm seeing Red!!!

 

I also dont know what friendzoning actually means...(since I dont even want to be within the same zone as her, much less be friends anymore...--i guess that's what you meant by wussy?) Its a bit offensive but if I put it in context..not really...the emotions and stakes are just too high right now that I don't want to "displace my logic". I think it could even work to my advantage that my ex would think of me as a wuss, that way when I go "extremist" on them, they wont see it coming. Besides, better to be called a wuss than to be an extremist (they don't get to see their babies and/or worse, they kill babies )

[spaniard]

I do believe in this. Live with no regrets. It's better to do it and get hurt, rather than live a life with "what ifs". At least you've given your all and know that there is nothing more you can do..

 

Hm... I agree with that, that's why I started skydiving

 

But honestly, I don't think this is the right situation to use this little theory. Before I started dating my ex, I didn't really want to jump into a relationship. But I told to myself exactly the same words you wrote. It's better to do it and get hurt etcetc

 

But now it's a totally different story. Becaure I had TWO OPTIONS back then. There was a possibility that this girl might turn out to be the one or something, and there was another that it's not gonna work and we would both get hurt. But now there is only one option.

 

I don't think it's weak to avoid the fire. I think it's smart! Only an idiot would hurt himself/herself on purpose. I did it once or twice, never worked, and as far as I see, it didn't work either for others.

[not-a-drive-by]

I don't think it's weak to avoid the fire. I think it's smart! Only an idiot would hurt himself/herself on purpose. I did it once or twice, never worked, and as far as I see, it didn't work either for others.

 

We all learn from experiences. People can tell us what to do or what not to do, but in the end, we need to experience it ourselves. Just like how children learn. Parents can tell them it hurts to play with fire, but until they actually touch it, they don't know what's it like. It's all part of the learning process.

 

I think everyone at one point in time did what others told them not to, and they pass this knowledge on once they have experienced it. Otherwise there would be no need for others asking for opinions on this forum.

 

Spaniard, if you didn't jump into the relationship, of course you wouldn't be hurt now. But does that mean you won't ever take chances with another relationship again? We can't foresee the future. It might work out with the next person, it might not. But you don't know until you give it a try. I don't really know your story, but if you apply that "theory", then you gave it your all, so you won't be thinking in the future, "what if I had asked that girl out? maybe she could've been the one".

 

Huh? Uhmmm...wait... I think what not-a-drive-by meant to say was its not always Black Or White...meaning, there's always a "Gray" area somewhere...hmmmm...

 

Yes, the grey area!

Edited November 30, 2012 by not-a-drive-by

[spaniard]

Spaniard, if you didn't jump into the relationship, of course you wouldn't be hurt now. But does that mean you won't ever take chances with another relationship again? We can't foresee the future. It might work out with the next person, it might not. But you don't know until you give it a try. I don't really know your story, but if you apply that "theory", then you gave it your all, so you won't be thinking in the future, "what if I had asked that girl out? maybe she could've been the one".

 

Of course! I totally agree with that. You always have to give it a try. But not with your ex, that's what I meant. I'm absolutely open for a new relationship. If I meet the right girl tomorrow, I'll ask her out. Because if I don't, I'll never know what may have happened. Just like yesterday I started talking to a nice girl at a show and it went on great until she mentioned that her fiancée is the singer of a band I like But at least I gave it a try!

 

But contacting my ex, "what if she still loves me", "what if we can reconcile" etc etc. No way. That's another story. Because I know what will happen. There is no uncertainity in it, there is no "what if". Because if I contact her, I know EXACTLY what will happen: she will be very glad, she may even be happy that I'm ready for FRIENDSHIP with her. And this would be probably push me back to square 1 with all the pain and suffering I have already gone through once.

[YorickBrown]

 

 

Yes, the grey area!

 

There is no grey area because if your Ex wants to be with you, they would.

 

If dumped, it's not YOUR JOB to convince your Ex to want you back, it's THEIR JOB to convince you to want them back.

 

Uh-oh! [slaps forehead] Geez...i feel (partly) responsible for not-a-drive-by's "fixation" with the "grey area":o

 

Uhmmm...how do I explain this..ok, there is no "Grey area" in NC or like "you can still be friends with your ex" situation...there is none ok?!? True disciples of NC...will never ever admit to this (case in point, CapSavAho)

This "grey area" I mentioned earlier (you kinda forced me into it) is similar to a "black hole" in outer-space (bear with me). It may be there....but nobody has really "seen/experience" it for real...and those who claim to "do" or "did"....just got "sucked" in and never to escape (so you dont want to be in anywhere near a black hole or any grey area). Understand??

 

Now, that's the reason why I have a big problem with my ex right now (I hate her now really:mad:)...Why? She's unwittingly or purposely, im not sure yet, created a "grey area" for me....the "grey area" of Paternity. That, is the only thing that creates a "grey area" for exes to break NC...and perhaps, necessarily for the sake of the kid...to become "friends" again. Only couples who have kids, especially legally married ones have this "gray area" for NC. Remember in one of my replies? I thought you were "pregnant"? ...you thought it would be a great ice-breaker.

 

 

@Dirty Diaper: Actually, its really NOBODY's JOB...anyone, who again, practices true NC...could/should not be able to be located for either of them to do any convincing or be convinced. That's the logic behind NC (you simply "disappear" without a trace if possible from each others lives)

 

PS:

I felt like I was babbling...was I? Did I make any sense?

[Jono85]

question:

 

why on earth would u WANT it to be your child? and assuming u DON'T but just want to do your 'due dilligence'. why on earth would u open that can of worms up?? she doesn't want to be with you or even entertain the possibility that the child could be yours. hence she doesn't want you in the childs life IF (massive IF..) it is indeed yours. so why are u trying to play 'captain save a ho' here and try to father up to a kid that no one would suspect is yours (it's not like she's tried to contact u by the sounds of it about the matter...).

 

i just don't get it. be thankful u dodged said bullet and move on.

[fucpcg]

 

Go for it, PROVE us all wrong. fucpcg is 0% reconciliation rate. He's friends with all his ex's but single and lonely at 42

 

Wow you are a peach. Why are you in here? Did you get dumped?

 

See here is the problem with this forum. This guy has done nothing but try to insult me, by reaching for anything that he feels can be the lowest blow (single and lonely at 42), and has a username that refers to women as hoe's, and he will be in here preaching "NC is the only way. Dumpers are evil. You are better off without them." Did you ever get dumped, are you single? Yea I get it, I can see how foul and callous you are as a person in one thread. Reminds me of something I've heard and learned over the years... If you want to learn how a person will treat you in the long run, watch how they treat those around them who are insignificant. Is he/her nasty to a waitress for no reason? Some day he/she will be mad at you and treat you the same way. So while he is in here talking about evil ex's it hides the fact he would probably owe his ex the mother of all apologies. But he would never do that, it is easier to play Captain that admit what a foul mouthed immature little child he is on the inside. He can preach NC and evil ex's thru the veil of a forum all day long, where his former hoe doesn't have a chance to share her side of the story, and you can buy into that if you want. I don't.

 

Reconciliation rate? 0%? Not quite accurate. I won't go into all the stories of my ex's would take pages. I will however clarify a bit on something I touched on that I didn't quite make clear. My first love and I are both now single, and making an effort to reunite. It is challenging as we live in different cities, but we are pursing. There is a quote out there that I will share "True love stories never have endings". There might be a 16 year gap in our story, but we did have love for about 4 years, and we definitely still feel it today.

 

And as far as being able to share experience from 25 years of dating, I will also disagree with statements I see in here about how the next relationship will be better. Whatever. I've had 3 real loves, 6 real relationships, endless dating. This first love is no less or greater than any of the other two, love is equal. Three more women were relationship material, but it never truly blossomed into love. And ALL the other women in between, pointless. It took me 4 years, then another 10 years, to find someone I felt as equally about as my first love. So I go back to repeating what I said before, if you have something worth fighting for, give it a shot, because love doesn't happen often, and you typically have to walk thru manure field on the way to each one. If you have just any old relationship, no need to fight for mediocrity, you can get that anywhere. I can't answer that question for you, only you can.

[YorickBrown]

NC is not a religion or weapon. it's simply a tool.

 

After being dumped, you need time and space away from your Ex so you can go and successfully get through the who healing and moving on process.

 

Once you have healed and moved on.... You won't care either way if you see or hear from an Ex.

 

I am not one to be "friends" with Exes because I don't see the point. However, I have run into and heard from pretty much all of them through the years. Since I was healed and moved on, it had no negative impact on me. We caught up, shared in some good memories, wished each other well and went about our lives.

 

 

 

1. You need to grow some thicker skin.

 

2. You decide how you are going to feel if your Ex contacts you or you have to contact her.

 

I have had break ups where there were loose ends that we needed to take care of (getting stuff from each others place, returning items, dealing with bills, etc.). There was no drama and neither of us had issues because of it.

 

If your Ex told you that she might be carrying your child, you have some loose ends that you need to deal with.

 

Ask for her to a paternity test and if she refuses, get an attorney and make it happen.

 

 

 

Suck it up and do what is best for the child you both share. You are not the first guy who has to go through this and plenty of people have very successful friendships with their father / mother of their children.

 

 

 

You choose to have sex and this is one of the potential outcomes from it. Be a Man and deal with the consequences of actions.

 

 

 

I respect my Exes wishes, desires, needs and their decision to break up. I don't chase after someone who dumps me, I don't try to change their mind, etc. I don't beg, plead, guilt or try and manipulate them. I don't stalk, have Facebook or have any desire to try and figure out what an Ex is up too.

 

Women who date me know that I didn't ask them out to be their "friend" and I am not going to be their "friend" should we break up.

 

For me and the person who date me, NC is a natural by product of a break up with whether I am a dumper or the dumpee.

 

I don't take break ups personally and it's not a reflection of my self-worth. Therefore, I don't get whacked out when a break up happens, I don't hate my Exes, think they are evil and I don't have an axe to grind with them.

 

For whatever reason, they don't want to be with me and they have every right to feel that way. We were not married and dating / relationships, you didn't make vows in front of God, Friends, Family and it's not till death due us part.

 

I have had many Exes who dumped me come back and want a second chance. I have given a few a chance and other's I was no interested. I also have dated girls who I broke up with and dated them again, years later.

 

Quit thinking of what NC and what it does to the other person. Take care of your business and do NC for as long as you need / want. Once you heal and move on, contact from an Ex will not have any negative impact on you. If you two want to be "friendly" and catch up here and there, great. If you two decide to give it another go... you won't need to be posting here asking about what you should or should not do.

 

 

 

If were dumped and you don't want to be "friends", what else do you expect to happen?

 

Of course, you two "disappear" from each other lifes. At some point even if you are "friends", this will happen anyway.

 

@DD (pretend you're Jerry Maguire):

 

 

....and scene!

Edited November 30, 2012 by YorickBrown

[CptSaveAho]

Wow you are a peach. Why are you in here? Did you get dumped?

 

See here is the problem with this forum. This guy has done nothing but try to insult me, by reaching for anything that he feels can be the lowest blow (single and lonely at 42), and has a username that refers to women as hoe's, and he will be in here preaching "NC is the only way. Dumpers are evil. You are better off without them." Did you ever get dumped, are you single? Yea I get it, I can see how foul and callous you are as a person in one thread. Reminds me of something I've heard and learned over the years... If you want to learn how a person will treat you in the long run, watch how they treat those around them who are insignificant. Is he/her nasty to a waitress for no reason? Some day he/she will be mad at you and treat you the same way. So while he is in here talking about evil ex's it hides the fact he would probably owe his ex the mother of all apologies. But he would never do that, it is easier to play Captain that admit what a foul mouthed immature little child he is on the inside. He can preach NC and evil ex's thru the veil of a forum all day long, where his former hoe doesn't have a chance to share her side of the story, and you can buy into that if you want. I don't.

 

Reconciliation rate? 0%? Not quite accurate. I won't go into all the stories of my ex's would take pages. I will however clarify a bit on something I touched on that I didn't quite make clear. My first love and I are both now single, and making an effort to reunite. It is challenging as we live in different cities, but we are pursing. There is a quote out there that I will share "True love stories never have endings". There might be a 16 year gap in our story, but we did have love for about 4 years, and we definitely still feel it today.

 

And as far as being able to share experience from 25 years of dating, I will also disagree with statements I see in here about how the next relationship will be better. Whatever. I've had 3 real loves, 6 real relationships, endless dating. This first love is no less or greater than any of the other two, love is equal. Three more women were relationship material, but it never truly blossomed into love. And ALL the other women in between, pointless. It took me 4 years, then another 10 years, to find someone I felt as equally about as my first love. So I go back to repeating what I said before, if you have something worth fighting for, give it a shot, because love doesn't happen often, and you typically have to walk thru manure field on the way to each one. If you have just any old relationship, no need to fight for mediocrity, you can get that anywhere. I can't answer that question for you, only you can.

 

LOL Your most recent ex was a loser... and you think that was real love? She dated a sucker and had a sucker fall in love with her and then left when she got bored.

 

Your love map is screwed up, and Im sorry if you don't see this. What you dont realize is you dated the image of a woman in your most recent ex because you "wanted" kids and blamed her for taking away the kids when they weren't even yours anyways and then you call this love and continuously chase them.

 

Your years of doing the same thing wrong over and over again should be fact why people shouldn't listen to your advice as it hasnt worked out the way you wanted.

 

First loves, yup... its called settling, no one else wants me at our age and with our emotional baggage in our 40s so lets just settle with each other since we have that experience YEARS AGO

[fucpcg]

Exactly what I expected. Good luck being an ******* for the rest of your life, I am sure that will get you a good woman.

[YorickBrown]

question:

 

why on earth would u WANT it to be your child? and assuming u DON'T but just want to do your 'due dilligence'. why on earth would u open that can of worms up?? she doesn't want to be with you or even entertain the possibility that the child could be yours. hence she doesn't want you in the childs life IF (massive IF..) it is indeed yours. so why are u trying to play 'captain save a ho' here and try to father up to a kid that no one would suspect is yours (it's not like she's tried to contact u by the sounds of it about the matter...).

 

i just don't get it. be thankful u dodged said bullet and move on.

 

FINALLY!!! Somebody asked THE QUESTION(s)! Although you assume toomuch...why ask for the paternity? why even want it to be mine? (uhmm not really, but deep down inside, yeah...its saying i want it)

 

Why indeed!?! Honestly... I would like to simply answer "I dont know"...coz its hell to explain to someone who "just dont get it" (coz he's not in the same boat) or even me who is, is "just messed up by it" but ok I'll try: (in no particular order)

 

1. "Blood is thicker than Water" --something gets stirred up inside... (ah, just Google it)

2. "Peace of Mind" it's just bugging me (and I'd like my mind fixed, since my heart's already broken)

3. "I see babies" like im haunted --no kiddng..dunno, its like a conscience but cute and cuddly..but unsettling at times.

4. Its a matter of Legacy (a child s spose to be the best one can leave behind)

5. "I dont want to SaveAHo...I want to SaveABaby" (you dont want it growing up with a Ho for a mother right?)

6. "I'm bored" Let's open a can worms...and watch them squirm.

7. I want to "man up" (really like actually man up and I like saying it too)

8. "Karma" - i don't want any of these stuff bearing down on me later on in life or in the after-life if there is one.

9. I was insulted and my "honor" tainted...I'm not some s&%^$#! nevermind its a racist statement (the lawyer is glaring at me now)

10. they say Fatherhood changes you for the better (i wanna try it)

 

I'll consult my lawyer first...im sure he'll think up of other stuff..coz he doesnt want me to put in: "Revenge" (complete with evil laugh) as no.11

 

12. I will leave this ________ for anyone who can come up with better reasons than I did and please...dont say I just wanna get laid again

 

No one would suspect is mine?!? Friends and some relatives have been calling me, asking me if its mine...They dont need to be math wizards (and I have *****ty time explaining that my ex was possibly a ho) ---Damn you Facebook!!! and your timeline.

Look, I don't want to be with her...why do you even assume this of me? (ok, maybe the thought did also cross my mind..since she's now a MILF)

I don't wanna speculate as to why my ex never told me that she was pregnant (a Ho can be embarrassed too you know)--oh right!...because some wealthy impotent/sterile rich guy had just bought her off (like a two-for-one)...Brilliant Ho!!! Apparently they deemed my sperm as of good stock & quality. My ex family is poor...they just won the lottery...with my half of the "ticket". They just played me for the fool. I think a payback is in order. But, I dont want to "ruin her"...everything will be done as discretely as possible --no lawyers would be involved unless required (my lawyer is not too happy with me now). I'm hiring a ninja as back-up.

 

And unlike you, I dont consider it dodging a bullet...IF it is mine (maybe even if its not), I'd take a bullet for that child. In fact, before this is all over (or even begin)....bullets may very well start flying....or shurikens (Sorry, my lawyer's telling me to stop this already)

 

 

PS: I told him, some guy here thinks bullets can be dodged.

[Jono85]

to be brutally honest, while not knowing anything about you other than what you've written here, i think THERE'S A STRONG CHANCE (notice i'm not saying i think this for certain...) you're so hung up on this for some wrong reasons.

 

if your sole purpose is to do right by the child, and be an integral part in the child's life, and u fully want to be a father for him, even though the baby mom will be happily married to this other guy, and might quite possibly destest u, and not have any sort of relationship with u other than when u give/take the son, then do everything u can in ur power to get that test done. if however, u have motives of 'revenge' like u say, or again as u thought that she's a hotty/milf now, and u'll be forever connected b/c of the child, etc etc, just leave it alone. u've admitted ur still not over ur ex in any capacity, and u need to carefully examine ur motives for wanting this child to be yours IMO. b/c i think there's a CHANCE (again, using chance...) here that if u were completely over this girl, u would steer very clear of ever trying to get BACK into her life to see if her new baby is yours.

[not-a-drive-by]

Can we please go back to the topic of the thread? If you don't have stories, please start another thread. Thanks to those who have shared their stories/experiences already.

Edited November 30, 2012 by not-a-drive-by

[cavalier99]

I stopped reading a while ago.

 

... All I know is that I broke NC with my current EX numerous times the 1st 2nd and 3rd time we broke up. Yes i know this is crazy!!! I had a birds eye view of 2 of her realtionship because of the contact. Did I leave and find something else? NO ..I stayed in contact. Ohh the suffering. I won her back... every time ..and it wasnt because the guy dumped her. She dumped them for me. One of the was a supermodel compared to me.

 

..VICTORY!!! Right??

 

Oh.. the work that was involved woooing her back. The obsession. The additional 4 years of love and ..pure suffering involved. I should have stuck to NC the 1st Time. When I broke NC it it alway started with:

 

"Hey, Hows it going? Just wanted to catch up"

 

I WILL NOT GO BACK INTO THE VORTEX AGAIN. Im staying NC this time

 

Hi Ho Silver

Edited November 30, 2012 by cavalier99