Author Sisyphus2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 So really, it's more about not having double-standards. I get it. you said it better than i did. basically, I feel like I am held to a way higher standard than she holds herself. Link to post Share on other sites
MAD Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 #12 Watching the paint dry.Sorry had to throw it in.ahh woman just take it one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
jf2good Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Sex and intimacy is the heart off most relationships. However, reading the post on this site it seems that for some men and women, they don't feel the need to have either and then wonder what happens with their partner of many years drops the Divorce bomb on them or end up cheating with someone else. So yes withholding sex will destroy most marriages. Sex should never be used as a weapon, to get what you want by denying it to the man or women who loves you. Some people are not compatible sexually and never will be, but for the other 95% of us it can be learned if we are willing. If you have to make excuses for not having sex, (too tired, too busy, headache, too stressed, children might hear us, not enough time, the light is on, and so on) then you are the problem, not the man or women who wants or needs sex. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiberius Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 It takes two to make a marriage fail. Sure, if you dont measure up, she gets most of the money child support and custody, while you only can hope to please her enough so she does not pull the trigger on you, but still it takes two to make a marriage fail . Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 It takes two to make a marriage fail. I used to be quick to agree with this idea; now, not so much. If the other partner checks out & sleeps with someone else, it's on them at that point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Sometimes, after a long time, a clarity may come upon us - that perhaps both partners contributed to the demise of the marriage in some fashion. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Sometimes, after a long time, a clarity may come upon us - that perhaps both partners contributed to the demise of the marriage in some fashion. Oh, I agree with this. But it only takes one to nuke it. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Oh, I agree with this. But it only takes one to nuke it. You can say that again. Y Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 It takes two to make a marriage fail. Sure, if you dont measure up, she gets most of the money child support and custody, while you only can hope to please her enough so she does not pull the trigger on you, but still it takes two to make a marriage fail . no, it takes 1. 1 wants this 1 wants that? again its all about the way you see it Saying it takes 2 to make a marriage fail? No . It fails because 1 of you no longer agrees with what the other is doing aM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 14. 'Did you come yet?' 15. More generally, abandonment. That might align somewhat with #5 and #11. 16. Self-absorbed behaviors. I call this the 'taker mentality' or 'what's in it for me?' Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Sometimes, after a long time, a clarity may come upon us - that perhaps both partners contributed to the demise of the marriage in some fashion. no, again no!! 1 , single, ONE There is NO bigger number when it comes to relationships. there will always be 1 that wants it , and 1 that doesn`t. The 1 that wants it will behave in the way you ALL are describing, the 1 that doesn`t is what? indifferent? selfaware? bothered? To put the blame on someone is wrong. To put it all on yourself is even worse. No 1 is to blame. Things just happen sometimes. It`s the way you deal with it ,is what makes the situation 10 times worse or 10 x better. aM Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 no, again no!! 1 , single, ONE There is NO bigger number when it comes to relationships. there will always be 1 that wants it , and 1 that doesn`t. That's really not the truth. It fails because 1 of you no longer agrees with what the other is doing I assure you that there are legions more reasons than this why marriages and relationships fail, and they cannot be boiled down to that. Conversely, people don't have to agree with each other all the time in order to maintain good marital relations. And, it usually does take both parties to kill a marriage. USUALLY. Just as it takes BOTH PARTIES in order to work out and honor compromises, which are a crucial aspect of successful marriages and partnerships of all kinds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 you just haven`t met the right man yet aM I'm happily married to the right man, and I'm not gonna chase him away … but that's not to say I don't know how to! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 17. Never apologize. Be consistent about that. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 That's really not the truth. I assure you that there are legions more reasons than this why marriages and relationships fail, and they cannot be boiled down to that. Conversely, people don't have to agree with each other all the time in order to maintain good marital relations. And, it usually does take both parties to kill a marriage. USUALLY. Just as it takes BOTH PARTIES in order to work out and honor compromises, which are a crucial aspect of successful marriages and partnerships of all kinds. no it takes 1 aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 success in a marriage is dependant on BOTH being at one with each other? When forwhatever reason the balance is tipped, then it will fail. It only takes 1 to tip it, again forwhatever reason aM Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 success in a marriage is dependant on BOTH being at one with each other? When forwhatever reason the balance is tipped, then it will fail. It only takes 1 to tip it, again forwhatever reason aM Convenient way of blaming … anyway, my personal experiences have been different than that. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 17. Never apologize. Be consistent about that. never do anything that you have to apologise for would be better? aM Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 I think that is reserved to a deity. No human is perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Convenient way of blaming … anyway, my personal experiences have been different than that. i never said i was perfect! Maybe re read what i did say? aM Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 If that was directed at me, 'never doing anything one would have to apologize for' is essentially compelling perfection in all interpersonal dealings with proactive and instinctive understanding of what will be satisfactory to and desired by all people in those dealings. Impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 I think that is reserved to a deity. No human is perfect. diety? The vision of something that has yet to be prooved but millions still hold onto?? oh pleeeease. No human is perfect? i am aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 If that was directed at me, 'never doing anything one would have to apologize for' is essentially compelling perfection in all interpersonal dealings with proactive and instinctive understanding of what will be satisfactory to and desired by all people in those dealings. Impossible. no it wasn`t aM Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Convenient way of blaming … anyway, my personal experiences have been different than that. Not mine. My wife hauled off on me and assaulted me with a board. Turns out shortly after that she wanted reconciliation but I couldn't do that since she not only didn't apologize, but actually blamed me for it. When I didn't accept reconciliation, she then gave me the "it takes 2 people" nonsense. Sure, let me walk up to a stranger, slug him in the face, then when he gets mad at me, say, " Look it takes 2 people. If you don't stop being angry and work on our issues, then it's not gonna work." BS. Simply BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 At first I was going to agree that it only takes one. But in my case it was close to a dozen. That is when you count the male co-workers who had gotten her ear, and no matter what I did it was wrong. One ILU a day showed that I didn't really care, but two ILY's and I was smoothering her And then on the days I caught her making out with the OM, I turned into a control freak, when I vigoursly protested and kicked her can to the curb In almost every separation and divorce amongst my friends and associates, there was always a toxic third party 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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