Boyfriend on pain killers

[monkey070108]

Hello all. Came here for an unbiased opinion for a tough situation. what would you do if you were me? Here's my story:

 

 

I've been with my bf for over 4 years now. When we first started going out, everything was great. We had our fights here and there but overall he treated me great, was there for me, etc. He was everything a girl could ever wish for. We started going out when he was 20 and he had a history of smoking pot, taking shrooms, xtc, and other drugs. He always told me his stories and said he did it just for the experience. It didn't bother me as long as he didn't do it while I was with him.

 

For the past 2 years or so, things started to change. I noticed that he's been having money problems even though he is employed and his demeanor has been changing. I did not suspect anything much from it but as time went on, it got worse and worse. For the past 6 months or so, things have been really bad. He asks to burrow money even though he now works two jobs, is always late whenever he picks me up, seems like hes nodding out, doesn't want to go out, etc. Ive been miserable and this is not the same person I started going out with.

 

Finally, couple weeks ago I was on his Facebook when I found a conversation. Long story short, he is addicted to oxycodone. At one point he was taking 3-4 per day and recently he's been taking 1-2 per day. He admitted that at certain times he took 15/day. He also admitted that during this time hes also has taken ecstasy and cocaine but only once or twice. I broke up with him the second I found out.

 

After couple days of crying and being very angry, I knew I had to help him. He would call and message me everyday begging for my help, saying he's been trying to quit but it has been unsuccessful and finally I told him that I would. We told his mother and within a week he went to detox and now does counseling and takes suboxone. He is one week clean. We are still not together.

 

Everyday I see him getting better. He thanks me for helping him and says that he never wants to go back to his addiction again. He won't even have a drink with dinner because he realizes this could lead to cravings. He has been going way above and beyond to try to get me back. It's all very emotional and I am so confused.

 

I do love him and I am very happy that I was able to help him. However, it doesnt change the fact that he lied to me for nearly 2 years and jeopardized my life, career, etc. He told me the truth about all the major times hes lied, like leaving a wedding we were at to get his drugs, lying to my family when he was over that hes going to help a friend meanwhile he went to get drugs, picking me up 45 min late on my bday because he needed to get high. I understand this comes with the territory of being a drug addict and I understand that everything he did was because of his habit. However, this does not make it any easier for me to accept it.

 

So here's my question: He lied to me for 2 years but he's always loved me and always told me he loves me. After I found out, he wants nothing more than to get me back and says that this life of recovery will help him be a better man and a wonderful bf. During his time in detox, he wrote me a letter asking me to join his new life with him "hand-in-hand" because he cannot imagine it without me. He wants a future, just like he always has but I don't know whether I can forgive him for this. I am very anti-drugs. Drugs and cheating are top 2 deal breakers (he's never cheated).

 

My friends give me different opinions of whether I should get back with him or not. I do love him and I do care for him a lot and it is obvious that the feelings are mutual. I also realize he could relapse at any time. Would you take him back?

[GLDheart]

Taking him back is a big gamble.. but I don't have to tell you that. I can see you already know it.

 

It's a double edged sword. In one way you feel like a better person for staying in there through the "tough times" and yep that's what this is...

 

But, damn it, I've done it twice with women I've loved and it has burned me, bad, both times.