2emotional Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 Things with the in-laws never went the way I had hoped from the start. I have a child from a previous relationship. I had my daughter unwed at the age of 18. At 24, I met my husband and after dating a few times, he wanted to introduce me to his family. When we pulled in the driveway, he said, I'd appreciate it if you don't mention your daughter. I was shocked, because I assumed that he had told them. I asked him why? He said my parents are very religious and having a child out of wedlock would be a big deal to them. I want them to get to know you first so that they don't judge you immediately. This really wasnt ok with me but we were in the driveway and they were coming out to meet us- so I went along. The dinner was extremely uncomfortable, I didnt know what to talk about since my daughter is my life..so I just didnt talk. Then they told him that they didnt like me because I didnt talk. Things got worse and worse..after a year of dating.. I demanded that he come out wiht the truth. For some reason when we talked to them..they acted like I was the one being distrustful and I wanted to hide things. I have always been upfornt and open. He was the one hiding things. I have noticed with his parents that he and his sister are extremely spoiled and even when they are wrong they are right. They could kill someone and somehow it would be ok. Things have gotten worse. We recently got a dog..and they think that I am not home enough with the dog and they let themselves in and take him while we are at work. Everything, I do in this family is wrong and they think that I am not trustworthy..when it is all a misperception. I realize now my husband played both sides against the middle. He lied to them or decieved them about who I am. He decieves me all the time about what is really going on. I don't know how to staigthen this out and my husband won't stand up for me because that would mean he would have to backpeddle and explain why he has decieved them. It seems that no one in his family including him is ever wrong. I am the brink of asking for a divorce over his family. I do not want to live my life getting the cold shoulder. Link to post Share on other sites
daydreaming Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Oh my, I'm so sorry for you... my favourite aunt is in almost the same situation right now, and I talked to her a lot about it, so I can recycle some of the advice I tried to give her ;-) First of all: You haven't done anything wrong. It's your husband who's the lousy git bcs he doesn't stand up for you. He's the one who got you into that situation, and I'm really sorry, he's the one to get you out. He must know that you're as unhappy as you can be, and if he is not willing to make efforts to improve the situation, then he simply doesn't deserve your love. All you can do is try and talk some sense into him, even if it comes as far as giving him the choice between you and his family. Ok, I hope I could help you a bit... I know it sounds harsh and it's probably not in the least comforting :-( sorry for that. But let me know about your steps! PS: You know what, this somehow reminds me of Sex and the City's Tray and Charlotte ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 I don't have kids, but if anyone ever had to insinuate that I should feel ashamed about my child, then I would tell them to go fck themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 I'm with Papillon, why hide the fact that you've got kids? Anyone who asks that of you isn't suitable for you. You said it yourself: your kids are your life. Why hide it? As for the situation now, you've got a choice to make: either keep the status quo of deceit and games, or tell your husband that, starting now, the games are over. There's going to be nothing but straight talk. Link to post Share on other sites
tblazerwendy Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 I feel your pain girlfriend my husband family hates me because of my husband and his lies and bull****He's always the good one and I'm always the bad one.But do what i do just leave them alone no contact thats his family and not mine. Ijust don't b around or talk to them at all. Link to post Share on other sites
MSB4me Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Oh my God me toooooo! My inlaws hate me, at first I thought it was the racial thing, but its isnt. My mother in law doesnt get along with none of her sons wives! And we all have horrible lives too. It isnt her fault, its the sons'. They complain to their family, they LIE when they complain. I am alwaaaaays the bad guy, even if I didnt do a damn thing wrong! Link to post Share on other sites
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