Does my girlfriend really care about me?

[black hawk]

[font=times new roman][/font]Hey gals and guys. I've been getting wierd vibes from my girlfriend for a while and I just wanted to get some advice on what to do. I'll explain everything and then hopefully some of you will respond...purty please? (I guess this is kinda long, but please read it...I'm so confused!)

 

Ok, I live in Pennsylvania and my girlfriend lives in California. We met at school on the east coast (United States...if ya didn't guess already) about a year ago. I asked her out once and she said that she'd rather be friends, then about two weeks later, she changed her mind and decided she wanted to make it something more. The time we spent together was amazing and we both ditched our friends to spend time with eachother. We hung out all the time, from sunrise to sunset, every day. I didn't mind at the time because I was so happy. She's a great person and we have alot in common. It was about a month or two into our relationship when she said she wanted to get married (after school and all). I was a bit schocked as we're both 19. She's my first girlfriend and I'm her second boyfriend. After my initial shock, I started entertaining the idea as well. Afterall, we were a perfect match.

 

So fast forward to the end of the school year...

 

She would get angry at me for wanting to hang out with my friends, so I never did (I guess you could say I was pretty whipped). She would watch TV and not pay attention to me and she would fall asleep right after we made love. It seemed to me that things were getting pretty monotone and boring. Everyday it was the same thing over and over, and I never got to spend any time with my friends. I started to feel like I was being used. Like, we'd be watching TV and I'd try to kiss her and she'd get pissed at me for blocking her view. She'd complain about how I don't love her and run to her dorm and I would follow telling her to stop and talk to me. I started to feel like I was the only one doing anything to hold the relationship together and that maybe she wasn't the one for me.

 

Then the night before she flew back to California, she got super pissed because I wanted to take the train to the airport instead of my car. So she locked herself in her room and sent me a bunch of text messages saying that I'm an a**h*** and that I don't care about her. I ended up calling her back right after she sent them and I told her how much she meant to me and how breaking up was a retarded solution to a problem that didn't even exist. So we made up and all and it was a happy end of the year.

 

So now here we are stuck thousands of miles apart for 3 months with no one to hang out with cause we didn't make any frineds at school. I feel so alone. My room mate who I know from high school won't even do anything with me because I ditched him last year.

 

School starts in two weeks and I'm looking forward to going back and fixing up my friendships with "the guys". I'm also looking forward to making new friends and getting to know other people. My girlfriend on the other hand just wants to get back and spend time with me, the way we did last year. Also, the past few times we've talked on the phone, she's been a real a**h***. About a week ago, I said something about how we're really only dating people for the first time and she bitched me out and defended her ex.

 

(This guy treated her like **** and used her body. She's told me all about him and how he'd just show her off to his friends and how she became all sneaky with him. Her grades started to fall in school and her dad said she couldn't see him anymore, but she still had him drive over late at night and have him come inside her room through the window for a quick ****. She cried to me about all of this and told me how she was so sorry that she did all of it and that he was a total a**h***...and now she's defending him.)

 

Then, last night I called her up and her mom picked up and gave her the phone. She was like "what?". I just wanted to say **** you and hang up, but instead, I stayed on for a bit and tried to talk to her and all I got were short, angry answers. I asked her for her flight info for when she's flying in and she sent me an e-mail that gave me the date on one line and the airline on the other...that helps alot.

 

Now, I'm thinking this could all be her dad's fault by getting on her ass about packing stuff up to fly across the country to go back to school. (Her parents are divorced BTW and her dad's not the nicest guy in the world, so I'm thinking it's a possibility...plus, her she's not too fond of her mom)

 

Anyway, now I'm starting to think of all of this stuff combined like how she's spoiled, how she treated me last year, how I was the only one fixing our relationship, and how she talks to me on the phone. I have no clue whether to call the quits on this or try and fix it again. I don't know if I really want to spend the rest of my life with this girl and the way she's acting now isn't swaying me in that direction either. I'm so confused. It's like she has two personalities, one that loves me and one that hates me. I don't want to ruin anything that I might have going for me, but I can't stop myself from thinking about how she's not the one. I might just be afraid of being single once again. AGH! What should I do?

[YellowLioness]

She reminds me of my boyfriend's friend Brian's x girlfriend, Katryn. Almost to a tee.

 

SHe'd get mad if he played a show and didn't look at her during his performance, or she'd call him and want him to meet her somewhere.

 

Then, when he got there she'd pretend like she didn't see him, and then get angry at him for not coming.

 

Let's see... Brian's band was playing in KY, and all the guys told all their girls that they shouldn't come because they weren't going to have time to pay attention to them.

 

Well, Katryn came and flipped out because...you guessed it, Brian didn't pay any attention to her. Well, she stole the band's van and drove it for like an hour to get Brain back.

 

SHe'd mess with him, then accuse him of being a bad boyfriend. SHe thought she was a princess. Brian broke up with her because of her immaturity, then she gave his best friend, Ben oral sex. Then, she accused Ben of raping her.

 

Of course, all of this eventually came out. Brian and Katryn are no longer together. She kept getting worse and worse, pushing Brian to greater heights of frustration and fury.

 

Moral: dump the chick. You have no social life so that you can be with someone who treats you like crap. You can do better; you seem like a nice guy. :-)

[seahorse]

I agree. She is very controlling and you are playing her game, running after her. You are too young to be getting married at all, never mind to someone who you are already having major doubts about.

 

Drop her and get your friends back. As you've already realized, dropping all your friends for a completely exclusive relationship is not ideal.

[treegirl]

Relationships are very tricky.

 

But after reading your loooong story I have one thing to say 'Never let anyone treat you like that! She wants to marry you and yet she's treating you like rubbish already' you don't need that - put a stop to it.

 

I know you love this girl dearly and don't want to go on without her.... but trust me when someone gets that angry at you that easily.... something's wrong.... not with you or the relationship but with her!!!!

 

That's what I think anyways,

 

Love TreeGirl

xoxo

[treeman]

From what i read (i skipped parts but got the general jist. She's probably doesn't appriciate the good thing she has enough. And thinks that you'll do anything for her so she can treat how and whatever she likes. You either need to stand up to her completely and it might make her realise what she's doing or just dump her as you're probably too good for her.

-Ben