Do girls like bigger guys because they make them feel feminine?

[AD1980]

They do worship tall women no matter their looks.

 

lol what???

[GirlontheLam]

I generally speaking like men who are taller than me. But I am around 5'4, so this means around 65% of them will be. Even the self described shorties. Most of them are stil several inches taller than I.

 

(But you know there are some ethnic groups with a lot of men my height at least where I live....)

[sweetjasmine]

As already discussed, let's be real about "protection".

 

It's not about actual, literal protection. Just as a man's attraction to a woman's breasts isn't actually, literally, about how much milk she can produce for an infant.

 

For those of us who feel this way to any extent, it seems to be an automatic reaction on par with a man's attraction to breasts or a nice butt.

 

And like I said, for me specifically, it's not about height but 'mass', if you will. 6' tall men are way too tall for me.

[MrCastle]

lol what???

 

Was wondering the same thing myself.

[ScreamingTrees]

It's not about actual, literal protection. Just as a man's attraction to a woman's breasts isn't actually, literally, about how much milk she can produce for an infant.

 

For those of us who feel this way to any extent, it seems to be an automatic reaction on par with a man's attraction to breasts or a nice butt.

 

And like I said, for me specifically, it's not about height but 'mass', if you will. 6' tall men are way too tall for me.

 

Even so, plenty of men disagree on these things - Some men prefer big bubble butts on a proportionately smaller frame, and some prefer a nice curvy little tight derriere. I'm guessing that girl's preferences being "taller than me" or "X inches taller" or "taller than me in heels" are all similar preferential variations on a different theme.

[iris219]

 

For those of us who feel this way to any extent, it seems to be an automatic reaction on par with a man's attraction to breasts or a nice butt.

 

I agree that most of us have a type we are attracted to automatically, with little thought, but we can also find those outside our typical type attractive as well.

 

If a guy is tall and thin (I don't perfer muscular or overweight. Skinny is fine with me), there is a very high chance that I'll find him attractive immediately. If a shorter guy showed interest in me, I'd certainly give him a chance to see if attraction develops, even though I wouldn't think he was hot from across the room. For me, this has nothing to do with protection or feeling feminine. It's just what I find appealing.

[sweetjasmine]

Even so, plenty of men disagree on these things - Some men prefer big bubble butts on a proportionately smaller frame, and some prefer a nice curvy little tight derriere. I'm guessing that girl's preferences being "taller than me" or "X inches taller" or "taller than me in heels" are all similar preferential variations on a different theme.

 

Women differ on this, too. Just read the thread.

 

I'd find a 5'4" man with broad shoulders and a little muscle more attractive than a 6'4" lanky man. Other women might feel differently.

[EasyHeart]

I'm 6 foot 3 (225 lbs)

YIKES!

 

From now on I am calling you MR. Wholigan!

[ScreamingTrees]

Women differ on this, too. Just read the thread.

 

I'd find a 5'4" man with broad shoulders and a little muscle more attractive than a 6'4" lanky man. Other women might feel differently.

 

Isn't that basically what I just said? lol?

[Content]

I think for the most part face is more important to most women then size height etc sure theyres some women with strict height prefrences or muscles but most women as long as they are attracted to your face and youre not a complete mess physically will give you a shot..

 

Also keep in mind some women just throw specific height numbers like 6 feet out because it sounds ideal or conventionally attractive or what their supposed to be attracted to..

 

Or online 5'10 because under that is less then average sounds less then ideal forwhat soceity deems attractive yet if they met a 5'8 or 5'9 guy in real life and were attracted to him mentally and physically they arent gonna get the tape measure out..

[sweetjasmine]

Isn't that basically what I just said? lol?

 

I think I misread your post. Sorry!

[ScreamingTrees]

I think I misread your post. Sorry!

 

It's ok.. Maybe I used a limited range of preferences, considering a 5'4 guy PROBABLY wouldn't fit any of the preferences I listed. I have the memory of a mossy rock, I'd have to re-read my post. lol

[mesmerized]

It is a biological instinct. They unconsciously look for the right genes for their future kids.

Many short males do the same. They do worship tall women no matter their looks.

 

I see that all the time. Short guys going for relatively taller women and short women going for taller men. I know a 5'8" guy that says he wouldn't date under 5'5". I think on some level they dont want their kids to be doomed with short height genes.

[Tara247]

Or are they attracted to bigger guys?

 

Yes, I would say so. No woman wants a weak, effeminate man. Being "big" doesn't mean overweight though. As a pretty, fairly fit, woman, I don't want an overweight man. It isn't healty, it isn't attractive, and it makes sex awkward. I would think that this is the same reason that men don't want overweight women.

[AD1980]

Yes, I would say so. No woman wants a weak, effeminate man.

 

Just because a guy might not be big or muscular doesnt mean hes auotmatically "effeminate"

[Taramere]

Various studies suggest that taller men have a higher social status on average. Earning more, more likely to be offered employment and awarded promotions.

 

Tall men earn more than shorter colleagues, research claims. - Telegraph

 

Social status will attract members of the opposite sex. The question is, who awards taller men that higher status? This explanation in the article sounds quite plausible to me...

 

taller boys may be more confident as height affects things like participating in clubs and athletics, and those confidence-boosting activities as a youth lead to earning power as an adult.

 

I've definitely noticed that difference anecdotally. That the taller men I know were very involved in sport in their teens, whereas the shorter men were far less so...and I think that early involvement in sport bestows a lot of benefits (confidence, fitness, good teamwork...).

 

Also, traditionally the upper classes were quite significantly taller than the lower classes....and although the gap has lessened over the last couple of centuries, it'll probably take some time for that mental connection between height and social class to wear away.

 

Upper classes really do look down their noses at the rest of us - Science - News - The Independent

[O'farrell]

I see that all the time. Short guys going for relatively taller women and short women going for taller men. I know a 5'8" guy that says he wouldn't date under 5'5". I think on some level they dont want their kids to be doomed with short height genes.

 

lol @ 5'8 being short

 

Only on the internet is a 5'8 male short. Besides, maybe hes like a lot of people. I want to be able to have someone whom I can see eye to eye with, if someone is more than three inches shorter than me would be awkward for me. I never really understood why people like big height differences. All of my girlfriends and male friends have been within a couple inches of my height with a few exceptions here and there. I am 5'8 btw.

[Kristine]

Okay I'm an odd duck really. I prefer medium build men really, but as men age as I am in my 30's now, they do get heavier, so I'm adapting my taste to what is really the standard but I still don't go for larger than average men. Like those beefcake types, not my style.

[MrCastle]

lol @ 5'8 being short

 

Only on the internet is a 5'8 male short. Besides, maybe hes like a lot of people. I want to be able to have someone whom I can see eye to eye with, if someone is more than three inches shorter than me would be awkward for me. I never really understood why people like big height differences. All of my girlfriends and male friends have been within a couple inches of my height with a few exceptions here and there. I am 5'8 btw.

 

Agreed, I don't understand this. You know how often I run into someone 6"+ in my daily life? It's rare. Maybe once in a weekly basis, if I'm in the city maybe a little more often since the population is so large and diverse, but in my everyday life? Going to school, hanging out in my area, etc? Rare.

 

I've said it before, I really do feel for women who can't get over the height hump. I mean their preference doesn't lie in the norm. Average is called average for a reason; because the bulk of people you meet in your everyday life will hover around that height. So for those women who only go for tall men, not only do they have to be tall, which is already limiting the pool, but those men also have to be facially attractive, have a personality that suits that woman, and be single, oh yeah, and also be attracted to the woman in question. That's a tall order (pun intended). At least my preferences are easily found in my everyday life, it's just a matter of them wanting me. I really do feel for height queens. Surely they're let down more often than most women. Unless they buy seasons tickets to their local nba team

[mesmerized]

lol @ 5'8 being short

 

Only on the internet is a 5'8 male short. Besides, maybe hes like a lot of people. I want to be able to have someone whom I can see eye to eye with, if someone is more than three inches shorter than me would be awkward for me. I never really understood why people like big height differences. All of my girlfriends and male friends have been within a couple inches of my height with a few exceptions here and there. I am 5'8 btw.

 

Well good for you. I'm 5'3" and none of the taller men I was with ever felt awkward nor did I. When I stand next to a 5'8" guy I barely notice our height difference so I find it funny that you think more than 3 inches shorter is "awkward". I guess you're also a height queen. Lol

[NoMoreJerks]

I like my men to be just a bit above average in terms of how "big" and muscular they are. As long as he's not a couch potato, it's good with me. I prefer men who are quite a bit taller than me (I'm 5 foot 5", so most men are taller than me), because that makes me feel kinda protected/safe (not in the sense of being protected from any assailants or anything, just in general, feeling warm and safe in his arms). I like the feeling of him holding me in his arms, and me looking up or standing on my toes to kiss him and him leaning down a bit. Or cuddling in bed and putting my head on his strong shoulder/arms or chest. It wouldn't be the same if he was less than average build / not fit.

[USMCHokie]

I like my men to be just a bit above average in terms of how "big" and muscular they are. As long as he's not a couch potato, it's good with me. I prefer men who are quite a bit taller than me (I'm 5 foot 5", so most men are taller than me), because that makes me feel kinda protected/safe (not in the sense of being protected from any assailants or anything, just in general, feeling warm and safe in his arms). I like the feeling of him holding me in his arms, and me looking up or standing on my toes to kiss him and him leaning down a bit. Or cuddling in bed and putting my head on his strong shoulder/arms or chest. It wouldn't be the same if he was less than average build / not fit.

 

Not discounting your assuredly genuine belief that your man's height is a requirement purely in the interest of personal safety and protection, but can this just be a subconscious justification of desiring certain traits in a partner that increase your own social value...?

[ascendotum]

Not discounting your assuredly genuine belief that your man's height is a requirement purely in the interest of personal safety and protection, but can this just be a subconscious justification of desiring certain traits in a partner that increase your own social value...?

 

I have no doubt it is hokie, maybe not for NMJ specifically, but in the observations of the smaller build women I have known over the years who always ended up with much bigger guys. It was frustrating with some of the smaller girls I was into, dating guys way bigger and then saying lame things to give the impression it had nothing to do with looks. The we had 'amazing chemistry' line would get used, but also the 'for protection' line was used a number of times. While I totally do get it from a evolutionary psychology perspective, it just sounds lame in 2ist century when girls (especially when they have a 'go-girl', 'girls kick ass' attitude) say they need a big guy to feel safe. Some have told me stuff like...our city is as scary & wild like cape town or lagos at night, or they need a big guy because that time they got hassled by a couple of guys back in 1997, or what if in the future years a gang breaks into her house and tries to attack her kids or what if there is some sort of disaster/crises in the future and she needs a real man to protect or save her and her kids. lol + wtf.

 

Its a bit like a guy saying how he only dates petite pretty blonds because he wants to make partner one day at his firm and all the partners are WASPs and wants to impress them. He's not shallow, he's just protecting his career prospects. or maybe a guy who wont ever have a gf over 120 lbs because he wont be able to do as good of a job of whisking her to safety in an emergency. He's not shallow he's just doing the best thing for her possible future welfare.

 

As for the feminine aspect, I do get that as well from a psychology perspective, but again its frustrating when you hear cute fem slender build women say that's the reason they want a big guy. Dating a jockey would not make these girls look even remotely butch. If a big boned overweight girl was to say they need a big guy to make them feel feminine I'd totally get it, but if these smaller/regular girls have issues over their femininity well then you cant blame guys if they do also subsequently have issues when it comes to weight gain, shorter hair and age in respect to their desire for femininity in a partner.

 

Generally speaking I've noticed the more feminine the girl the more masculine the guy they get. Big guys = masculinity, and its a primal attraction. Being aggressive/arrogant also helps to create that element of dominance for many women that can be a substitute for size, especially for the blue collar girls.

Edited December 1, 2012 by ascendotum

[O'farrell]

Well good for you. I'm 5'3" and none of the taller men I was with ever felt awkward nor did I. When I stand next to a 5'8" guy I barely notice our height difference so I find it funny that you think more than 3 inches shorter is "awkward". I guess you're also a height queen. Lol

 

claims she needs a "tall" man

 

But barely notices a 5 inch height difference.

 

women logic? or internet logic?

[O'farrell]

Not discounting your assuredly genuine belief that your man's height is a requirement purely in the interest of personal safety and protection, but can this just be a subconscious justification of desiring certain traits in a partner that increase your own social value...?

 

how does a tall man= better social value?