Struggling a bit with church life

[Teknoe]

I am Christian, and have gone to church pretty much every week for the past 3 years. However, this year I have felt a bit "tired" of the church scene (for a lack of a better term). I dunno. I guess I have felt betrayed in some ways, and in others, don't feel a strong enough connection. I want friends I can truly walk with, but everyone I've tried just haven't been able to click with in a way that goes beyond brother-brother or brother-sister.

 

The church also started to feel a bit "strange" for me? I dunno how to describe it, but it felt like the same message week after week, recycled somehow.

 

I still believe in God/Jesus, but have not been attending church for 2 months now. It's kind of at the point where I'd like to explore a new church home yet... I've hit that incredibly comfortable phrase where I even ponder "Maybe I don't need church in my life."

 

I dunno... just feeling different emotions.

 

I used to be all gung-ho in years past. Heck, last year I pretty much ran an outreach play that blew everyone away. I was really involved. I was a lot more extroverted then. But now I feel very introverted, and just like my privacy. I go on FB and am bombarded by so many scriptures and people just posting about their latest high or whatever, and it's kind of turned me off in that I don't feel a strong connection to these people and feel like I never will.

 

I dunno... just a funky season I'm in. Full time work has played a big factor in all this. In general, I think I've been turned off by church and my lack of genuine connection there (I know a lot of ppl but it is very very surface-y... perhaps I suffer from commitment-phobia?). I've also been more content just staying home doing whatever I please.

 

Just sharing this to see if anyone else is going through a similar situation, or has in the past. Any stories or words would be appreciated.

[amaysngrace]

Why are people sending scriptures on FB? Is your social circle primarily church-focused? That sounds really odd to me.

 

Maybe you're onto something by questioning your religion. I've been there and I know what that's like. Maybe just work on your relationship with God instead and explore your spirituality rather than your religion. Religion is herd mentality for the most part in my opinion. It's a building block to establish a personal relationship with God but it isn't necessary to maintain your relationship with Him.

[Teknoe]

Why are people sending scriptures on FB? Is your social circle primarily church-focused? That sounds really odd to me.

 

 

Well, of my 600, maybe 200 are Christians, and about 30 of them love to post God-related posts EVERY DAY. Praise God this, praise God that. And the same 50 folks from church will like it. But when I post something, I will get many likes, but not from mutual friends (because I'm not close with them i.e. I'm not in the choir like they are)

 

etc.

 

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm questioning the religious aspect of it. I just get tired of hearing messages of sin and stumbling, etc. Or how my church uses the "come to the front to get prayed for... come on now don't miss out on God" line every week. Almost makes me feel guilty for not coming down the aisle, or makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

I don't doubt that some/many of them are genuine about it, either, but... eh. I used to be wide-eyed and awed by it all, but now it's kind of "hmmm..."

 

Hmmm.

 

Also... I won't deny that part of my loss of interest is all the rejections I've had from single sisters I've developed feelings for. I had 3 say no to me in 13 months... and most recently, a very big crush of mine went nowhere and she's now engaged. After that, and with other things distracting me, I've become maybe a little bitter toward the whole church scene? I know that sounds bad since church isn't a place to find girls, but I've seen so many acquaintances of mine find their spouse there... maybe I'm simply on a different road map from everyone else... and the more different I feel, the more I desire my privacy.

 

I'm also at the age where pressure is mounting to achieve a "certain norm." Around 30 you should be building a family or in a relationship heading that way. I'm still single, and could realistically see myself being single for several more years... to be like 34, single and out of place in the church family scene... perhaps all the more reason why I've taken this hiatus. It's just easier staying home and shutting out connections.

[amaysngrace]

At least you realize that church isn't a place to hook up. But if you don't feel like you fit in or belong there, why go?

 

What do you get out of going?

[Eddie Edirol]

Sounds to me like you have out-grown church, and maybe even religion in general. Maybe you went out of obligation? Anyway it sounds like you are getting smothered by it and the people on facebook, so why would you want to keep going after the over-exposure.

 

I say embrace the change. There is probably something else new other than spiritual belief that you can explore and experience.

[TheFinalWord]

No, I've been there.

 

Hard to know over the internet why you may feel this way, but I know what you mean. Have you tried talking to the pastor? No problem to try out other churches. You can outgrow a church if it isn't not your fit. If it's the dating issue, yes, I think churches don't always do a good job at helping out. I always through a intranet church site would be helpful. Sort of like on-line dating, but only for those in church. Before being able to add a profile, maybe take some classes on healthy dating and relationship skills (churches used to be a place of social education; not just in terms of altruism, but also development of social skills, which has become more of a lost art these days.) Are you a part of small group with your church?

 

Also, you can hide people on FB. I think I hid about 90% of people after this last election. I don't care who people vote for. FB in general induces competition for social status in a false reality. So no matter what your personal convictions (I've seen it from my atheist friends on FB too) they will make sure to plaster their pages with their religious or anti-religious messages. Boring to me b/c few people provide any new information, they only regurgitate someone else's thoughts. Add in the social competitiveness and social media becomes a collection of template rants. It's basically a copy and paste era, in thought, deed, and action. Basically, I remove such folks from my feed stream. Saves a lot of stress

[KathyM]

I think the problem is that you are feeling disillusioned because you were not able to find a girlfriend from the church, and that is tarnishing your perception of it. Church is the place to develop your faith, learn about the gospel, and be supported in your walk with God from other believers. And also the place to worship God. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are supposed to be your support group, and I would echo what The Final Word said that you should join a small group in your church if there are some. Those are your main supporters--your small group. You may also want to try out another Christian church and see if that is a better fit. Sometimes people need something more--a more inspirational environment--than their current church provides. I switched denominations from Lutheran to a non-denominational Christian church because I thought the Lutheran faith was too repetitious and not feeding my faith like I needed. I found a non-denominational church that greatly inspires me when I go to services on Sunday, and they also have small groups and many other functions that I can be connected with. I'm sure it's frustrating for you that you haven't found the right person yet, but your Christian beliefs and faith are really what you should be focusing on in your church life. Your dating life, if not with someone from the church, can be pursued from other means, such as your work and social group outside of church. I would also recommend Christian internet dating sites. My sister found her husband by that means. My nephew found his wife through the small group at his church. Explore many avenues to pursue a dating life, and resist the urge to withdraw from a social life and a church life just because you haven't found a girlfriend from there. That's really not the purpose of the church anyway.

[TheFinalWord]

Also... I won't deny that part of my loss of interest is all the rejections I've had from single sisters I've developed feelings for. I had 3 say no to me in 13 months... and most recently, a very big crush of mine went nowhere and she's now engaged. After that, and with other things distracting me, I've become maybe a little bitter toward the whole church scene? I know that sounds bad since church isn't a place to find girls, but I've seen so many acquaintances of mine find their spouse there... maybe I'm simply on a different road map from everyone else... and the more different I feel, the more I desire my privacy.

 

I'm also at the age where pressure is mounting to achieve a "certain norm." Around 30 you should be building a family or in a relationship heading that way. I'm still single, and could realistically see myself being single for several more years... to be like 34, single and out of place in the church family scene... perhaps all the more reason why I've taken this hiatus. It's just easier staying home and shutting out connections.

 

Yeah, I understand.

 

If you get a chance, I think this vid would give you some good tips:

 

7. Religion Saves: Dating (Mark Driscoll) - YouTube

[OpenBook]

In general, I think I've been turned off by church and my lack of genuine connection there (I know a lot of ppl but it is very very surface-y... perhaps I suffer from commitment-phobia?). I've also been more content just staying home doing whatever I please.

 

Just sharing this to see if anyone else is going through a similar situation, or has in the past. Any stories or words would be appreciated.

 

I've had the same experience in every church I've ever attended - although I did get a "bestie" out of one church, years ago. But that was the only time I've ever gotten close to anyone at church.

 

I've learned over the years to realign my expectations of what I get out of attending church. Now I go for the reinforcement of learning the Bible and walking the Christian path, and I mainly get that from the pastor's sermons. I no longer expect church to provide my social life. It works for me.

[BetheButterfly]

Well, of my 600, maybe 200 are Christians, and about 30 of them love to post God-related posts EVERY DAY. Praise God this, praise God that. And the same 50 folks from church will like it. But when I post something, I will get many likes, but not from mutual friends (because I'm not close with them i.e. I'm not in the choir like they are)

 

I don't get many likes from my friends in the church where I grew a lot in my faith, but that's ok. Most of my sharing posts are pics of animals so if people smile when they see them and if the pictures remind people of how beautiful and amazing other life forms on earth are, that's what matters to me, not if they click like or not. Sometimes I see posts that I like but I don't click like, simply because it's not mandatory to always click like on what you like. Just like, while a preacher is preaching, it's not mandatory to say amen if you agree. Clicking "like" is sorta like saying amen out loud lol!

 

 

etc.

 

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm questioning the religious aspect of it. I just get tired of hearing messages of sin and stumbling, etc. Or how my church uses the "come to the front to get prayed for... come on now don't miss out on God" line every week. Almost makes me feel guilty for not coming down the aisle, or makes me feel uncomfortable.

Understood. What helps me whenever the pastor is giving an altar call is to simply pray and ask God to help people who are hurting. That gets my focus off of me and how I feel and helps me think about other people and what the suffering they are enduring. It also helps remind and motivate me to write them or talk with them, to show them I care.

 

I don't doubt that some/many of them are genuine about it, either, but... eh. I used to be wide-eyed and awed by it all, but now it's kind of "hmmm..."

 

Hmmm.

Christians in the USA have life remarkably easy. Long time ago, the Christians in the Roman Empire were persecuted, tortured, and killed for believing in Jesus. Many were disowned by their own families. Even today, in certain places around the world, being a Christian is a very painful experience, with the hope of those suffering being on Jesus, not on earthly comforts.

 

I think that if we went to a place where Christians were suffering more, it would shock us all and wonder, "Do I believe enough to endure being killed for Jesus?" That's what many of Jesus' apostles/disciples did. They died for Jesus. They didn't kill anybody, but they did suffer for what they believed.

 

Also... I won't deny that part of my loss of interest is all the rejections I've had from single sisters I've developed feelings for. I had 3 say no to me in 13 months... and most recently, a very big crush of mine went nowhere and she's now engaged.

That would be very painful. I know; I experienced having a crush on a wonderful man at my church in my parent's state. He just thought of me like a little sister though, and dated other ladies in the church. (I had my hopes up though that someday he would suddenly have the revelation that I was his soulmate, but nooo. I was thinking of him like this lol:

 

 

It killed me when he introduced me to his friend who liked me. I am a monogamous person who can't even see more than 1 guy at a time as a romantic interest, so I couldn't think of myself with his friend. After 2 more weeks, I moved to another church. I told my mentor, a wonderful lady, and she understood that sometimes, crushes can only be broken by not seeing the person anymore. I was so devastated that my crush didn't feel the same as I did.

 

However, thank God, I am experiencing being with the wonderful man God has for me!!! I am so glad that my previous crush didn't date me!!! Rather, he is married to a wonderful lady who I sincerely believe is God's gift to him, whereas I believe my husband is the wonderful man who I believe is God's gift to me, and visa versa!!! :love:

 

So please don't give up hope. Sometimes waiting is a pain, but "joy comes in the morning."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzTITwcnT9w

Kirk Franklin - My Life Is In Your Hands (lyrics) - YouTube (Love this song!)

 

After that, and with other things distracting me, I've become maybe a little bitter toward the whole church scene? I know that sounds bad since church isn't a place to find girls, but I've seen so many acquaintances of mine find their spouse there... maybe I'm simply on a different road map from everyone else... and the more different I feel, the more I desire my privacy.

 

I'm also at the age where pressure is mounting to achieve a "certain norm." Around 30 you should be building a family or in a relationship heading that way. I'm still single, and could realistically see myself being single for several more years... to be like 34, single and out of place in the church family scene... perhaps all the more reason why I've taken this hiatus. It's just easier staying home and shutting out connections.

My husband and I got married when we were both 34, a year ago. Believe me, he is worth the wait!!! I pray that God blesses you with a wonderful lady who is your soulmate, who loves you greatly, and who you love! I also pray God blesses you with strength in realizing that following Jesus does not equal merely attending a church club, but rather obeying what Jesus said and believing in what he did and will do.

 

Blessings!

Edited December 1, 2012 by BetheButterfly

[bentnotbroken]

I have been there also. I have taken a break (for years sometimes)..but I think that the congregation I am a part of now...is small enough to be family yet big enough to not have to pretend with those who you do not feel close to. Why not check out a different congregation and pray for guidance. Taking a break does not mean forgoing your relationship with God. You can still study and pray...just maybe you are burned out on the ceremony portions.

[TheFinalWord]

Good points bentnotbroken and bethebutterfly!

 

On a side note, bethebutterfly, I notice you said in memory of Hawaii50 in your signature. Is everything okay with him?

[Teknoe]

Great points made by several people, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, insights and similar stories. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

 

I think the big adjustment also for me has been in previous years I was working part time, and HAD A TON OF FREE TIME. That time and energy was devoted to my church life. I was going out to small groups, even LEADING ONE for a short season (at my previous church... I've had 3 church homes lol.... so maybe I am a little commitment phobic. First church home was June 2009-April 2010. 2nd church home was April 2010-January 2011. Current home church that I'm kind of taking a break from is January 2011-present). It's like once a certain amount of time has passed, I just pack up my bags and move on, so to speak. I don't know what's going on there. For a long while, I was perfectly content with my current home church.

 

Then the crush thing happened, she met the one God wanted her to be with, and I'm completely happy for her and even now in hindsight, I can see clearly he is a great match for her and I simply wasn't. Maybe God does have someone for me, but I knew a long time ago it isn't her. So it isn't HER that I lament "losing," I guess it was just the IDEA of marriage and a spouse. That and I started full time work for the first time ever this past August... and my job requires massive work hours.

 

I'm just so drained from it that I don't have much energy/impetus to go out these days. I work, I go home, I do my things, and the cycle repeats. Sunday mornings I'm finding it nice to sleep in a little, and by the time I wake up, it's too late to attend service and so I just stay in and watch football or maybe get a little work done in prep of Monday. Sometimes I even drive to my work place to get some work done in the actual place. I personally don't mind this.

 

As for talking to my pastor, he doesn't know who I am, specifically. It's a GIANT church, and so we've only talked once or twice.

 

I do have some choir acquaintances that I've hung out with, and will see them sometime in December, but they're a lot older than me and it's hard to make a real connection with them. I have been reducing the amount of times I've been hanging out with them simply because I don't feel like I fit in and I don't want to get too close. I feel I'm close enough now where I can't just "disappear" without them wondering. But I've been selectively hanging out with them once in a while where they don't have to question me. It's OK. We get together, fellowship, but they're mostly in their 40s and above, in the choir and I don't see anyone of them as a "real friend." The reason we have the connection to begin with is I've been in the easter plays with them the past 3 years.

 

Speaking of which, that's probably what attracts me most to the church... their annual outreach. I love acting (on the side) and it allows me that platform. Auditions are coming up next month and I was adamant about going for it a 4th time but just this past week I've been pondering maybe I shouldn't?

 

Rehearsals are intense and now with full time work, I don't know if I can handle it. I suppose God can supply the strength, rest and resources to squeeze all of it in but... hmm.

 

If I am in the play a 4th year, it could rejuvenate my "juices" and commitment to this church.

 

If I am not in the play a 4th year, then perhaps that could be my official "break away" from the church and I can close that chapter and look for a new church home officially.

 

It's a funky spot. I'll start praying about it and see how God leads me.

 

It started out with me missing one week of church back in late September justifying I was too tired and that I need to focus on my kids (I'm a teacher). Next thing I know, 1 week became 2. 2 became 3 and so forth. SOOOO easy to fall into the trap/pattern of simply not attending home and enjoying quiet Sundays at home. With 3 services at my church, and it being so big, no one has noticed enough to hold me accountable. No check ups mean easy to keep doing what I'm doing.

 

Really, the only thing keeping me connected right now are the choir acquaintances I have that invite me out maybe once a month.

 

As for small group, I had a good fit/one since February 2011. But again, since my full time work started, I just can't make it on Thursday nights with needing my rest for my kids (they are little kids so yeah... I need all the energy I can get!) the next day, to me I rather just stay home.

 

They are also in their 50s and above. Great wisdom, and a great fit for me in 2011 when I was looking for full time work. They prayed for me and gave me advice about my crush, etc. Now I found full time work and don't have the crush, so as bad as this may sound, I feel my season with them is up. They are very nice people, but after a while the meetings felt the same with similar answers. I wanted to find a young adult group, and I visited one in the summer time that I enjoyed, but I knew that was only a visit for the summer type of deal. Heck, I really might be commitment phobic.

 

Finally, I think the "crushing blow" for my church life currently was I attended a conference in mid-late September. It talked about what it means to be a "super Godly man." At the time I made a new non-Christian female friend, Jen, who had a boyfriend but because we found full time work at the same time at the same grade we developed a connection. She seemed very friendly with me and possibly maybe even liked me.

 

She texted me during the conference to come over to her apartment. I had gone one time previously where she invited me to sleep over, but I declined. The conference was literally preaching that part of being a great man of God is fleeing the Potiphar's wives of the world... literally. Then during our break, Jen texted me that I should come over her apartment... I really wanted to, but tried my best to honor God (and also her BF... who I didn't want to possibly cheat on... I've been cheated on before so I know the pain)

 

However, Jen and I had a great connection and I found myself increasingly attracted to her.

 

In the end, with the conference's messages in my head, I kind of beat around her request and then... things got weird between me and her. That old cliche, God closed that door. Today Jen and I still talk, but I have to initiate. I have no doubt that "episode" made things weird for her.

 

So I guess there's some resentment there. Of course, now that I'm "free" and not attending church, Jen nor any other girl is contacting or tempting me. Ah, timing. So, I've been enjoying my "hibernation."

 

I guess I've become bitter at the whole scene. Hate to say the Jen thing pushed me over but I think it kinda did. Why couldn't she have texted me to come over at ANY OTHER point than during the conference.

 

Right now, I am living life crush-free. Mainly because I haven't been seeing a whole lot of people. At least playing my games doesn't hurt my feelings or whatever. I guess I am on one of those "rolls" ... seasons. Another Christian cliche

 

Ha, got a little emo there... thanks for listening.

[Eddie Edirol]

So is the church the only place you asked women out? Did you really only ask out 3 women in a year? You might have to up your numbers a lil, and perhaps try to figure out why these women are turning you down.

[Teknoe]

So is the church the only place you asked women out? Did you really only ask out 3 women in a year? You might have to up your numbers a lil, and perhaps try to figure out why these women are turning you down.

 

 

I get myself friend zoned easily. I start out as friends, then we become good friends, then I tell her I like her, and that's why I get the "just a brother" speech. Not even one of them said "Hmm, OK we can try going out on a date sometime and seeing how that goes." All 3 times it was pretty much an immediate shutdown. And of course, after that they tell you they would like to stay friends but it's never the same.

 

rejection 1: july 2009 at church 1

r2: january 2010 at church 1... then things got weird. the sisters shared and I became villified

r3: september 2010 at church 2

 

i have not asked out a girl or told any girl I've liked her since September 2010. Too afraid of rejection. So I think that's why I've been at church 3 as long as I have now... relatively kept the drama to a minimum by not asking my crush out. I think that's why I never asked out my crush before God sent her the right man.

 

I'm glad I have the full time job thing down now. Before, that was always weighing on my conscious. I feel if I just do a great job at my job, everything else will somehow fall into place. But I also know I need to socialize more... but right now am not in one of those moods/seasons. I just want to be by myself and enjoy my games, lol. It's safer this way.

[TheFinalWord]

I get myself friend zoned easily. I start out as friends, then we become good friends, then I tell her I like her, and that's why I get the "just a brother" speech. Not even one of them said "Hmm, OK we can try going out on a date sometime and seeing how that goes." All 3 times it was pretty much an immediate shutdown. And of course, after that they tell you they would like to stay friends but it's never the same.

 

rejection 1: july 2009 at church 1

r2: january 2010 at church 1... then things got weird. the sisters shared and I became villified

r3: september 2010 at church 2

 

i have not asked out a girl or told any girl I've liked her since September 2010. Too afraid of rejection. So I think that's why I've been at church 3 as long as I have now... relatively kept the drama to a minimum by not asking my crush out. I think that's why I never asked out my crush before God sent her the right man.

 

I'm glad I have the full time job thing down now. Before, that was always weighing on my conscious. I feel if I just do a great job at my job, everything else will somehow fall into place. But I also know I need to socialize more... but right now am not in one of those moods/seasons. I just want to be by myself and enjoy my games, lol. It's safer this way.

 

Hey man,

 

No, I would not take that approach with dating Christian or non-Christian women. Make your intentions known before developing an emotional connection to her. It will not be such a big deal if she does not reciprocate if nothing is invested. If you invest in her, then are turned down it will hurt a lot more.

[Eddie Edirol]

Hey man,

 

No, I would not take that approach with dating Christian or non-Christian women. Make your intentions known before developing an emotional connection to her. It will not be such a big deal if she does not reciprocate if nothing is invested. If you invest in her, then are turned down it will hurt a lot more.

 

Yeah Tek, regardless of a womans faith, attraction is still the same for women, you cant approach them like a friend, you have to follow the same dynamic rules everyone else does. If you are too nice, or too eager to please them, or the typical nice guy traits, you will get the typical nice guy treatment. You might have to learn what makes women attracted to you and try a new approach.

[Teknoe]

hey guys,

gonna be honest here. i haven't been making an effort to check out another church. i think eventually i will... maybe summer time when i have a fatty 2.5 month break... but right now... i feel like i just need a complete break away from church (social life). I haven't been communicating at all with my church acquaintances, and their invites to various (bi-)weekly hangouts I have been assertively declining with no white lies. i.e. "Thanks but I'll pass." short and to the point.

 

I still believe (I believe I still believe anyhow), but I think I've just been burnt out a bit on the church scene. Some hurts and disappointments... even if the focus should be on God. I find it hard to focus on God in church... always thinking about others... it's a good time I figure to step aside for a bit and recharge.

 

I'd hate to say that my failure of finding a spouse and getting a full time job has been what's stopped me from going to church... but hey, if people from the church wanna judge me, go right on ahead (and just another reason why I burned out on the scene). "Oh, he stopped going to church once God answered his prayer for full time work. now he's too big for the church.." etc.

 

*shrug*

 

Just need some rest and time off to clear my head.

 

Looking back from 2009-early 2012, no doubt I used church partly as a social club/crutch... I believe genuinely, but the social connections were nice. Now that I've become much more introverted and tired from work and burnt out on various church hurts and disappointments... meh. I don't see why I put myself through it every Sunday. I don't like the feeling of "going to church as an obligation" which it has sadly become for me.

 

Also, those church acquaintances I'm just done with. They're great people, but on different wavelengths and I don't care to hang out ever again. A complete break from this church will only help create that boundary.

Edited December 27, 2012 by Teknoe

[episkopos]

Teknoe, what you are experiencing is not unusual. The Christian walk can be boring and monotonous. A taxi driver in London once asked me why I won't just kill myself and go to heaven if I believe in it so much that, I was asking him to believe in Jesus so he could make it there. You see, we don't just exist for fun. We are alive to be a blessing to others. Once you are saved, we would expect that to be the end of the journey but no. It is actually the beginning. The preacher may not be able to help you much until you develop an intimate relationship with the father yourself. Then you can tell others about him also and win them for him. I am sorry you cannot find any close friends in church, the truth is that, most people are going through what you are going through but do not know how to say it. So why don't you be a real friend to someone and lets see how it goes.

[Teknoe]

So why don't you be a real friend to someone and lets see how it goes.

 

Right now, I want to be left to myself. Eventually, I'll explore a new church and look maybe to "start over." Right now though, there's just so much disappointment and hurt and bubbles being burst that I need time alone, away from church, to regroup/recharge my batteries.

[OpenBook]

OK, then just keep praying! Don't stop praying. Keep that line of communication open. He is faithful, and He is crazy about you. He'll see you through this. :bunny:

[Teknoe]

OK, then just keep praying! Don't stop praying. Keep that line of communication open. He is faithful, and He is crazy about you. He'll see you through this. :bunny:

 

 

Thanks. I know He will. He always does.

I'm going to "Lone Ranger" it for a bit, even though the church tells you 1000 times not to. Got some hurts and disappointments to heal from first. I will need to start praying more, too. I did pray last night for the first time in 2-3 days. I don't want to completely fall away from my faith, which is much easier to do when you're "lone rangering" it. But right now, I feel like I must. I don't know if I have or will morph into a "casual Christian," but I don't think I'll ever denounce Christ. Whether I ever go back into a "attends church every Sunday" thing remains to be seen, though.

[shoesies05]

I'm not religous but I know many people who are. I would take this time to look inside and see why you are not getting what you want from this church...

 

also maybe the church you are going to isn't the right fit for you anymore and it might be a good idea to explore other churches and see if they speak to what your heart is seeking more.

[shoesies05]

and if you do end up just staying on your own- just remember that the amount that you go to church doesn't reflect how much of a believer you are and no one should ever make you feel bad for not going to church- including yourself

[todreaminblue]

I am struggling at church of late because I get upset in church, the testimonies speak to my heart the hymns speak to my heart and I feel selfish and guilty when i shouldn't because i am not doing anything wrong.It is when i ask for a certain thing to happen and that is for me to feel less, i get more upset.......no win situation, I cant give up, because i believe in my church and I love all the people in it, even the grumpy ones....smilin....but I do get upset and feel like people will think i am looking for attention and that makes it worse, highly embarrassing....I want to blend not sob.....so yep struggling......i am not into drama....and i dont want to be perceived that way....but church hits me hard,god's trying to guide and i am trying not to listen there's an internal struggle...hoping it lets up soon....I contemplated not going....but that would create more problems as i want to be there .....ill just hang in the mothers room so if i breakdown....no one sees it.... ...deb